French Surrender to a Virus

dbermanmd · 09-15-2006, 09:02 AM

The news story below is but the tip of this iceberg. Following in their footsteps in WWII, the French have abandoned Paris without firing a single shot - thus marking the second time in man's history that a people have not fired a single shot in defense of their national capital. A rabies panic has induced mass flight and hysteria in Paris. The french army has laid down its never used 40 year old weapons again. This time they could not even see the whites of their eyes - thus preserving whatever pride the French still might have. An urgent session of the UN has been called to broker a cease-fire and send aid and medical supplies including air-conditioners and toothpaste. There is some confusion in the UN as to who is going to take the place of the French in terms of receiving bribes, and sending arms and nuclear technology to third world countries. Also, there is an active search underway on an urgent basis to find new leadership in the "anti-America" groups that France used to lead. Rumors a flying about concerning French resistance groups - but as of yet there is yet verification of a single frenchman willing to fight for his country. There are however multiple groups of French people willing to negotiate surrender terms for Paris.

As a sidebar, it is believed that the French were importing these apes in an attempt to find life forms that where able to be trained to serve in its armed forces. For the past half-century France has been saddled with an inability to meet its recruitment needs for all branches of its armed forces. They found in preliminary studies the apes were more likely not to run under fire or even from threat of gunfire, were more capable in hand-to-hand combat, and less likely to disclose secrets when captured. They were even able to identify friend from foe - something the average french soldier/citizen has had trouble with for centuries.

PARIS (Reuters) - An ape found near Paris might have died of rabies and anyone who has recently been bitten or scratched by a monkey in the region should seek medical care, health authorities said on Friday.

The sick Barbary ape was abandoned near a vet's clinic in the southeastern suburbs of Paris earlier this week. It died shortly afterwards and initial tests suggested it had been suffering from rabies or Simian herpes.

Further tests are underway, but as a precautionary measure the health ministry issued a statement warning of the risks.

Although it is illegal to own Barbary apes as pets, authorities believe that many of the animals are illegally smuggled into France from Morocco and Algeria and are seen as the ultimate furry status symbol in the tough Paris suburbs.

Cuddly as babies, Barbary apes rapidly grow into strong, aggressive adults with powerful teeth and claws.

KMO · 09-15-2006, 09:11 AM

Quote:

dbermanmd:
Most active in Fred's House of Pancakes
( 713 posts / 87% of this member's active posts )
[/b]

I'm sure there are special forums for people like you. Might I suggest Free Republic, Little Green Footballs, or similar? Then maybe we could see if you have anything remotely relevant to the Prius in that remaining 13%.

Alric · 09-15-2006, 09:12 AM

Man, you have got to get that xenophobia treated.

dbermanmd · 09-15-2006, 09:15 AM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(KMO @ Sep 15 2006, 09:11 AM) [snapback]320001[/snapback]</div>

Quote:

I'm sure there are special forums for people like you. Might I suggest Free Republic, Little Green Footballs, or similar? Then maybe we could see if you have anything remotely relevant to the Prius in that remaining 13%.
[/b]

No sense of humor - especially on a friday? I though FHOP was for topics like this. I am sorry that I am taking up space from your primary objective on this BB - you could have always not clicked on the topic knowing what it involved - even better - you could not have added to what you term an inappropriate use of space on this BB by not responding... If I had a real good sense of humor I would ask if you were French (notice the past-tense :-)

Have a nice weekend. Relax. Enjoy life. Smile.

daronspicher · 09-15-2006, 09:18 AM

I guess it's easy to sit back and be an arm-chair quarterback and take cheap shots at the hard working French military from the comfy seat pulled up to your keyboard.

I'll have you know the mighty French army is currently engaged in an important mission in southern Lebonon. When the rest of the world is reluctant to send their soldiers in as a stabilizing force, the French have committed 96% of their entire military troop force to the effort. Last I heard, it was almost up to 200 of them.

The other 8 guys in their armed forces were to drunk to go. :P

KMO · 09-15-2006, 09:21 AM

If you actually think that was funny, I suggest you consult your nearest mental health practicioner.

HappyPig · 09-15-2006, 10:19 AM

Paranoia about germs is not limited to one's country. Perhaps you've heard of the US's fetish with antibacterial soaps, toys, toothpastes, mattresses, sponges, dog collars, etc.

Tangentally, is there any way to remove topics from the House of Pancakes in the RSS feed for priuschat.com?

glenhead · 09-15-2006, 10:48 AM

Aw, c'mon - it's called "satire". Jeez, lighten up - if this was about Bush, you'd think it was a riot.

Syclone · 09-15-2006, 11:25 AM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(glenhead @ Sep 15 2006, 10:48 AM) [snapback]320066[/snapback]</div>

Quote:

Aw, c'mon - it's called "satire". Jeez, lighten up - if this was about Bush, you'd think it was a riot.
[/b]

The French, although they would never publicly admit it, have instituted a 5 level security level system, similar to the one used in the United States.

Level 5 minimum - Pay no attention and maybe it will go away

Level 4 moderate - RUN!

Level 3 Serius - Hide

Level 2 Urgent - Surrender

Level 1 Desperate - Collabarate

The color scheme is simple - They are all yellow

dbermanmd · 09-15-2006, 11:43 AM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(HappyPig @ Sep 15 2006, 10:19 AM) [snapback]320052[/snapback]</div>

Quote:

Paranoia about germs is not limited to one's country. Perhaps you've heard of the US's fetish with antibacterial soaps, toys, toothpastes, mattresses, sponges, dog collars, etc.

Tangentally, is there any way to remove topics from the House of Pancakes in the RSS feed for priuschat.com?
[/b]

I guess that fetish has provided us with longevity and bright white teeth - and perhaps world class medicine.
The best way to remove things is for you to just ignore it instead of censoring it.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Alric @ Sep 15 2006, 09:12 AM) [snapback]320003[/snapback]</div>

Quote:

Man, you have got to get that xenophobia treated.
[/b]

Why?

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(daronspicher @ Sep 15 2006, 09:18 AM) [snapback]320005[/snapback]</div>

Quote:

I guess it's easy to sit back and be an arm-chair quarterback and take cheap shots at the hard working French military from the comfy seat pulled up to your keyboard.

I'll have you know the mighty French army is currently engaged in an important mission in southern Lebonon. When the rest of the world is reluctant to send their soldiers in as a stabilizing force, the French have committed 96% of their entire military troop force to the effort. Last I heard, it was almost up to 200 of them.

The other 8 guys in their armed forces were to drunk to go. :P

[/b]

The moment they hit the beaches - Hezbollah laughed. I dont think the French could beat Hezbollah.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(KMO @ Sep 15 2006, 09:21 AM) [snapback]320008[/snapback]</div>

Quote:

If you actually think that was funny, I suggest you consult your nearest mental health practicioner.
[/b]

I would but he's French - he ran too :P

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(syclone @ Sep 15 2006, 11:25 AM) [snapback]320090[/snapback]</div>

Quote:

The French, although they would never publicly admit it, have instituted a 5 level security level system, similar to the one used in the United States.

Level 5 minimum - Pay no attention and maybe it will go away

Level 4 moderate - RUN!

Level 3 Serius - Hide

Level 2 Urgent - Surrender

Level 1 Desperate - Collabarate

The color scheme is simple - They are all yellow

[/b]

Same system they used in WWII

09-15-2006, 09:18 AM	#5
daronspicher Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 1,205 My Car: Package: Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 0	I guess it's easy to sit back and be an arm-chair quarterback and take cheap shots at the hard working French military from the comfy seat pulled up to your keyboard. I'll have you know the mighty French army is currently engaged in an important mission in southern Lebonon. When the rest of the world is reluctant to send their soldiers in as a stabilizing force, the French have committed 96% of their entire military troop force to the effort. Last I heard, it was almost up to 200 of them. The other 8 guys in their armed forces were to drunk to go. :P __________________ My Lifetime MPG is: Lifetime Stats Down with VFTW, KeepTheBestIdol.com instead...

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09-15-2006, 09:02 AM	#1
dbermanmd Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: manhattan Posts: 5,908 My Car: 2006 Prius Package: #7 Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 0	The news story below is but the tip of this iceberg. Following in their footsteps in WWII, the French have abandoned Paris without firing a single shot - thus marking the second time in man's history that a people have not fired a single shot in defense of their national capital. A rabies panic has induced mass flight and hysteria in Paris. The french army has laid down its never used 40 year old weapons again. This time they could not even see the whites of their eyes - thus preserving whatever pride the French still might have. An urgent session of the UN has been called to broker a cease-fire and send aid and medical supplies including air-conditioners and toothpaste. There is some confusion in the UN as to who is going to take the place of the French in terms of receiving bribes, and sending arms and nuclear technology to third world countries. Also, there is an active search underway on an urgent basis to find new leadership in the "anti-America" groups that France used to lead. Rumors a flying about concerning French resistance groups - but as of yet there is yet verification of a single frenchman willing to fight for his country. There are however multiple groups of French people willing to negotiate surrender terms for Paris. As a sidebar, it is believed that the French were importing these apes in an attempt to find life forms that where able to be trained to serve in its armed forces. For the past half-century France has been saddled with an inability to meet its recruitment needs for all branches of its armed forces. They found in preliminary studies the apes were more likely not to run under fire or even from threat of gunfire, were more capable in hand-to-hand combat, and less likely to disclose secrets when captured. They were even able to identify friend from foe - something the average french soldier/citizen has had trouble with for centuries. PARIS (Reuters) - An ape found near Paris might have died of rabies and anyone who has recently been bitten or scratched by a monkey in the region should seek medical care, health authorities said on Friday. The sick Barbary ape was abandoned near a vet's clinic in the southeastern suburbs of Paris earlier this week. It died shortly afterwards and initial tests suggested it had been suffering from rabies or Simian herpes. Further tests are underway, but as a precautionary measure the health ministry issued a statement warning of the risks. Although it is illegal to own Barbary apes as pets, authorities believe that many of the animals are illegally smuggled into France from Morocco and Algeria and are seen as the ultimate furry status symbol in the tough Paris suburbs. Cuddly as babies, Barbary apes rapidly grow into strong, aggressive adults with powerful teeth and claws.

09-15-2006, 09:12 AM	#3
Alric Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 1,048 My Car: 2007 Prius Package: #8 Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 0	Man, you have got to get that xenophobia treated.

09-15-2006, 09:21 AM	#6
KMO Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Cambridge, UK Posts: 911 My Car: 2005 Prius Package: T Spirit Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 0	If you actually think that was funny, I suggest you consult your nearest mental health practicioner.

09-15-2006, 10:19 AM	#7
HappyPig Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Lyme, New Hampshire Posts: 24 My Car: 2004 Prius Package: #9 Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 0	Paranoia about germs is not limited to one's country. Perhaps you've heard of the US's fetish with antibacterial soaps, toys, toothpastes, mattresses, sponges, dog collars, etc. Tangentally, is there any way to remove topics from the House of Pancakes in the RSS feed for priuschat.com?

09-15-2006, 10:48 AM	#8
glenhead Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 166 My Car: Package: Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 0	Aw, c'mon - it's called "satire". Jeez, lighten up - if this was about Bush, you'd think it was a riot.