BREAKING NEWS:: Could Multiple Stab Wounds Lead to a Shorter Life?

**TonyPSchaefer** · 07-16-2007, 11:38 PM

In a recent study, researchers found that multiple stab wounds actually shortened the life expectancy of the monkeys used in the study. They found that the species and gender of the monkeys played no bearing in the results nor did the locations of the wounds.

Watch the report video here:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/stud...onion_rss_daily

Stev0 · 07-16-2007, 11:45 PM

I love The Onion. It's my second favorite fake news site, right behind consumeraffairs.org.

**TonyPSchaefer** · 07-17-2007, 09:25 AM

Ok, I have to admit that if you're so into animal protection that you can't even stand to hear someone joking about it, then the video is probably a bit too much.

I figured that someone would report the thread as being too mean and cruel (even in jest). But I so rarely start threads in Fred's and I felt that there were enough people who would appreciate this for the humor.

scargi01 · 07-17-2007, 09:39 AM

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TonyPSchaefer @ Jul 16 2007, 10:38 PM) [snapback]480030[/snapback]</div>

Quote:

In a recent study, researchers found that multiple stab wounds actually shortened the life expectancy of the monkeys used in the study. They found that the species and gender of the monkeys played no bearing in the results nor did the locations of the wounds.

Watch the report video here:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/stud...onion_rss_daily
[/b]

I nearly drove off the road once from laughing so much at an Onion "news" report on the radio

MarinJohn · 07-17-2007, 12:58 PM

Tony=bad gorilla

hycamguy07 · 07-17-2007, 01:02 PM

Wheres PETA when they are needed..... Bwaa Haa Haaa

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07-16-2007, 11:38 PM	#1
TonyPSchaefer Ruler of Omicron Persei 8 Join Date: May 2004 Location: Far-North Chicagoland Posts: 7,704 My Car: 2004 Prius Package: #9 Nominated 4 Times in 2 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 14	In a recent study, researchers found that multiple stab wounds actually shortened the life expectancy of the monkeys used in the study. They found that the species and gender of the monkeys played no bearing in the results nor did the locations of the wounds. Watch the report video here: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/stud...onion_rss_daily

07-16-2007, 11:45 PM	#2
Stev0 Aluminum Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Northampton, MA Posts: 4,446 My Car: 2006 Prius Package: #7 Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 7	I love The Onion. It's my second favorite fake news site, right behind consumeraffairs.org.

07-17-2007, 09:25 AM	#3
TonyPSchaefer Ruler of Omicron Persei 8 Join Date: May 2004 Location: Far-North Chicagoland Posts: 7,704 My Car: 2004 Prius Package: #9 Nominated 4 Times in 2 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 14	Ok, I have to admit that if you're so into animal protection that you can't even stand to hear someone joking about it, then the video is probably a bit too much. I figured that someone would report the thread as being too mean and cruel (even in jest). But I so rarely start threads in Fred's and I felt that there were enough people who would appreciate this for the humor.

07-17-2007, 12:58 PM	#5
MarinJohn Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,973 My Car: Package: Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 1	Tony=bad gorilla

07-17-2007, 01:02 PM	#6
hycamguy07 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Central Florida Posts: 2,707 My Car: 2007 Prius Package: N/A Nominated 0 Times in 0 Posts TOTM Awards: 0 Friends: 0	Wheres PETA when they are needed..... Bwaa Haa Haaa