Teenagers: Dating vs. Hooking Up

[Dipena]

After about a year of being a really sulky 13 year old who wouldn't talk to me AT ALL, my 14 year old daughter has now started sharing lots of stuff with me, including things about her friends and their boyfriends, what they are learning in sex ed, etc. etc. I know who smokes, who may have tried drugs, whose parents drink too much, etc. AND IT IS SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

I am glad I now have some idea of what is going on in their moussed up little heads but jeez louise. My daughter seems to be doing OK but I believe me, I am reinforcing responsible behavior every chance I get.

My oldest daughter (17) is pretty serious and will be a late bloomer in the romance department. She hates drugs and drinking and I don't have to worry about her now. What I worry about is when she is thrown into an environment where she is surrounded by people doing all the stuff she doesn't approve of (namely, college). Oh, well, it's always something.

[eagle33199]

At some point you just have to push the babies out of the nest and see if they can fly... or if they'll just fall to be eaten by the neighbors cat.

[Rae Vynn]

Be sure to talk, and to LISTEN... and for crying out loud, do NOT jump in with "you'd better not be doing..."

It's much easier to keep the lines of communication open, than it is to fix them.

Oh, and Pat, you might ASK your son about sexual activity among his peers... have that talk about responsibility, respect, and being safe from disease/early fatherhood.

[Dipena]

Oh yeah, and today I found out who is cutting herself and who is bipolar and is doing much better since he's on medication.

[hyo silver]

Yeah, it can be kinda scary knowing who's up to what, but think of it from your child's point of view. Things are much different now - more and earlier sexual activity, easier access to a wider variety of drugs. Kids need most of all someone they trust to talk to. If it's not the parent, it'll be someone else, who may or may not have their best interests in mind.

I hope they don't read this and I have to explain myself, but my two teens are much better behaved than I was at their age, and I turned out alright. Mostly.

[ctbering]

Originally Posted by slair

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(formerVWdriver @ Jul 18 2007, 12:32 PM) [snapback]480949[/snapback]</div>

Only a VW driver would hide from their fears. :P
As I am only 22, graduating HS like 4 yrs ago, I know that teens dont date. Its either girlfriend/boyfriend or minimal friends. Its all or nothing these days, go big or go home. Sorry to say, but thats just how it is, and there really isnt anything you can do about it. Unless you follow them around 24/7. I've been going out with the same girl for 6 years now. I'm done with college, but she isnt yet. As soon as she is, we'll get hitched.
A pro from all of this is, at least you can say we have commitment issues!

promiscuous...haha. Nice way of saying slut. Girls are so slutty now than they used to be. You might say "oh, but I make sure she dosent wear anything slutty before she goes out / to school." hahahaha! I doubt you know that most girls change at school, or make sure they wear something they can alter. Ya schools have dress codes, but probably around 10 years ago, they just kind of faded away. Even the teachers dress like they're workin the corners.

Hey I disagree. There were plenty of girls that were less sexually inhibited then as well. History is cyclical with each generation searching their identities. Parents should remember their own sexual experiences and not delude themselves into thinking there is more promiscuity now than before. Communication with your kids, being available to them even when they know all the answers, letting them know they are important even when they are trying to convince you how cool a tattoo python would look from their neck to their feet, a you say....lets put it on hold till your done with college. And...its hard to expect young people aren't going to experiment. You do want them experience life, but its difficult! But calling girls sluts when they have these experiences..... I dunno, never seemed right to me.
BTW, I have great memories in my VW bug...I was a little older..I cherish those memories...what a car!

[qbee42]

Originally Posted by ctbering

<snip>
BTW, I have great memories in my VW bug...I was a little older..I cherish those memories...what a car!

Oh man! Yea, the VW bugs had those great stirrups in the back seat...


Tom