Teenagers: Dating vs. Hooking Up

[formerVWdriver]

As the parent of a soon-to-be teenager, I hear that things have changed -- and I'm scared. I hear that teenagers don't date, they hook up. And the more I hear about it, the less I like it.

If you're the parent of a teenager (or if you're a teenager), is this true? What's going on in your area and what do you think about it?

[hycamguy07]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(formerVWdriver @ Jul 18 2007, 12:08 PM) [snapback]480923[/snapback]</div>

As the parent of a soon-to-be teenager, I hear that things have changed -- and I'm scared. I hear that teenagers don't date, they hook up. And the more I hear about it, the less I like it.

If you're the parent of a teenager (or if you're a teenager), is this true? What's going on in your area and what do you think about it?
[/b]

Im not a parent, but parents seem to rely on me, to take care of their kids while Im working....

Hooking-up, is kinda like friends with benifits..

I see them when they are unaware of anyone around and the hook-up, but if a athourity figure is around they are model citizens.......

[Darwood]

20 years ago as a soon to be teenager, the terms were "Going out" vs. "Going with". Tom-ato, tomat-o.

Same scare scories have come up in every generation of parents. And it still comes down to the parents ability to properly nurture and educate their children on matters of the heart. (or genitals!)

[SSimon]

From what I know, girls are way more promiscuous now than they were in the past. However, I agree w/ Darwood. It all comes down to the parent's ability to instill enough confidence, knowledge and security in their child so that the child has a strong foundation to work with and is apt to make healthy decisions.

[hycamguy07]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Darwood @ Jul 18 2007, 12:15 PM) [snapback]480931[/snapback]</div>

20 years ago as a soon to be teenager, the terms were "Going out" vs. "Going with". Tom-ato, tomat-o.

Same scare scories have come up in every generation of parents. And it still comes down to the parents ability to properly nurture and educate their children on matters of the heart. (or genitals!)
[/b]

Well said...

Its best when the children do not rule the home, but rather live under the parents roof while abiding by the parents rules.... Have faith, there are still alot of good kids out there.....

[formerVWdriver]

Good advice and observations all around... thank you!

It just seems that things happen earlier, faster and with possibly graver consequences. Wish I could afford my own private island and we could go hide.....

No doubt a randy pirate would wash ashore.....

[Darwood]

"From what I know, girls are way more promiscuous now than they were in the past. "
And have fewer guilt complexes. Up to 50 years ago, the womans' sexlife was extremely utililtarian and usually joyless.
If you want to argue we should go back to chastity belts and fear of eternal damnation as a tool to prevent unwanted pregnacies and VD, you're free to do so. Unfortunately, the genie bottle is already open.
It is now more important to teach your children harm reduction and the massive responsibility that comes along with sex, rather than just forbidding it, "end of discussion" style.

[slair]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(formerVWdriver @ Jul 18 2007, 12:32 PM) [snapback]480949[/snapback]</div>

Wish I could afford my own private island and we could go hide.....


[/b]

Only a VW driver would hide from their fears. :P
As I am only 22, graduating HS like 4 yrs ago, I know that teens dont date. Its either girlfriend/boyfriend or minimal friends. Its all or nothing these days, go big or go home. Sorry to say, but thats just how it is, and there really isnt anything you can do about it. Unless you follow them around 24/7. I've been going out with the same girl for 6 years now. I'm done with college, but she isnt yet. As soon as she is, we'll get hitched.
A pro from all of this is, at least you can say we have commitment issues!

promiscuous...haha. Nice way of saying slut. Girls are so slutty now than they used to be. You might say "oh, but I make sure she dosent wear anything slutty before she goes out / to school." hahahaha! I doubt you know that most girls change at school, or make sure they wear something they can alter. Ya schools have dress codes, but probably around 10 years ago, they just kind of faded away. Even the teachers dress like they're workin the corners.

[formerVWdriver]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Darwood @ Jul 18 2007, 12:34 PM) [snapback]480951[/snapback]</div>

"From what I know, girls are way more promiscuous now than they were in the past. "
And have fewer guilt complexes. Up to 50 years ago, the womans' sexlife was extremely utililtarian and usually joyless.
If you want to argue we should go back to chastity belts and fear of eternal damnation as a tool to prevent unwanted pregnacies and VD, you're free to do so. Unfortunately, the genie bottle is already open.
It is now more important to teach your children harm reduction and the massive responsibility that comes along with sex, rather than just forbidding it, "end of discussion" style.
[/b]

We told our children about sex when they were five (believe it or not, our church suggests this -- as you say, the genie bottle is open so it's best that they hear it from the parent) and have been adding to the discussion ever since. It's actually much easier to explain reproduction to a five-year-old than a 12-year-old.

Worries about peer pressure and ignorance (on my part) of what is happening "out there" have me scrambling to find out what we're going to be dealing with, so we can equip her and also be on the lookout for danger....

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Slair @ Jul 18 2007, 12:56 PM) [snapback]480967[/snapback]</div>

Only a VW driver would hide from their fears. :P
As I am only 22, graduating HS like 4 yrs ago, I know that teens dont date. Its either girlfriend/boyfriend or minimal friends. Its all or nothing these days, go big or go home. Sorry to say, but thats just how it is, and there really isnt anything you can do about it. Unless you follow them around 24/7. I've been going out with the same girl for 6 years now. I'm done with college, but she isnt yet. As soon as she is, we'll get hitched.
A pro from all of this is, at least you can say we have commitment issues!

promiscuous...haha. Nice way of saying slut. Girls are so slutty now than they used to be. You might say "oh, but I make sure she dosent wear anything slutty before she goes out / to school." hahahaha! I doubt you know that most girls change at school, or make sure they wear something they can alter. Ya schools have dress codes, but probably around 10 years ago, they just kind of faded away. Even the teachers dress like they're workin the corners.
[/b]

VW drivers have to hide from their fears. Otherwise, you wouldn't have the courage to crank up the car and expect to get where you're going. (You won't, but you'll have a great time until you break down.)

I'm afraid you're right -- there isn't anything I can do but follow them around 24/7 -- if I could just keep the ICE from turning on that Prius can be mighty sneaky....

It is good to hear that in spite of all of this, you do have a commitment and caring relationship going. You lived. She lived. Life proceeds.

Changing clothes at school!!!! Trashily dressed teachers!!!! Where's my Xanax?

[Somechic]

This is a little off topic, but it's not just teenagers who use this terminology.

Most of the single people I know in their late 20s, 30s and 40s use the same type of terms.
You can have:
a friend with benefits,
F**k-buddy,
"just friends",
girlfriend/boyfriend,
weekend/weekday lover,
just hooking-up,
wedding daters,
etc.

ANY of these terms can refer to any type of relationship you can have.