25 Skills Every Man Should Know: Your Ultimate DIY Guide

[airportkid]

Originally Posted by Ichabod

... top 25 skills needed for a Human to exist:

1. Keep your heart beating.
2. Breathe.
3. Eat/Drink.
4. Walk.
5. Bathe.

Obviously spoken with a light heart and humour, but I couldn't help thinking that people with cardiovascular problems, athsma, congenital digestive disorders, or paraplegia or missing limbs might not think items 1 thru 4 are all that cute. We lucky ones in good health take for granted what for others are daily battles to attain.

MB

[Ichabod]

I know plenty of people w/ asthma or allergies that severely restrict breathing, my grandfather has a pacemaker, a few of my neighbors are wheelchair-bound for various reasons (also you shortened my #3 to make it more exclusive than the way I wrote it)... I'm sure at least one person I know must have IBS!

For all of those people, my list is a list of major accomplishments, so they can be proud. And you should be ashamed for suggesting otherwise :P

How about this: Can we all agree on a SINGLE skill that all people must have, the mention of which will not be offensive (notice I left out much of the digestive process... intentionally )?

[hyo silver]

I thought the original list was kinda sexist, too, but that's not surprising considering the source. Was it here I saw that 50's article about a wife's duties? It was both hilarious and sickening, and illustrates how far we've come since then. (Or fallen, I suppose, depending on your point of view.)

[DaveinOlyWA]

one of the most entertaining articles i have read in a long time... but of course, microsoft has always been good at being funny.

[Winston]

One key thing every man should know.

How to unhook a bra in one swift motion.

[Ichabod]

Originally Posted by Winston

One key thing every man should know.

How to unhook a bra in one swift motion.

Minor addition to this one: "Without injuring the wearer!"

(Take note, AirportKid, I didn't say "woman" as that would be exclusive of cross-dressers :P )

[Godiva]

Originally Posted by Ichabod

But what in life is not arbitrary? We're not dignifying the list, we're all pretty openly mocking it, so it's OK. Now that I think of it, I'm going to start a list of top 25 skills needed for a Human to exist:

1. Keep your heart beating. This takes some practice, so don't give up if it's hard at first.
2. Breathe. Even trickier, since sometimes it's voluntary and sometimes involuntary. Keep your wits about you when you make the switch or you could lock up.
3. Eat/Drink. This is really a whole set of skills and sub-skills. Some people NEVER get the hang of it.
4. Walk, or otherwise transport yourself. Having a baby girl right now, I can personally attest to how difficult this is, and how you really won't make it far in life if you don't master this skill. I hope for my girl's sake that she learns to walk, or at least crawl soon, or she's getting left behind.
5.Take a Shower. This skill is invaluable when dealing with other humans. If you have an overpowering odor, this can sometimes be off-putting both socially and professionally.
...

I think 4 and 5 are superfluous to existence.

But as an addendum to #3 you also need to p00p.

[Godiva]

Originally Posted by hyo silver

I thought the original list was kinda sexist, too, but that's not surprising considering the source. Was it here I saw that 50's article about a wife's duties? It was both hilarious and sickening, and illustrates how far we've come since then. (Or fallen, I suppose, depending on your point of view.)

Have you ever read the vintage duties of a school teacher?

RULES FOR TEACHERS - 1872

1. Teachers each day will fill lamps and clean chimneys.

2. Each teacher will bring a bucket of water and a scuttle of coal for the day's session.

3. Make your pens carefully. You may whittle nibs to the individual taste of the pupils.

4. Men teachers may take one evening each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week, if they go to church regularly.

5. After ten hours in school, the teachers may spend the remaining time reading the Bible and other good books.

6. Women teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will be dismissed.

7. Every teacher should lay aside from each pay a goodly sum of his earnings for his benefit during his declining years so that he will not become a burden on society.

8. Any teacher who smokes, uses liquor in any form, frequents pool or public halls, or gets shaved in a barber shop will give good reason to suspect his worth, intention, integrity and honesty.

9. The teacher who performs his labor faithfully and without fault for five years will be given an increase of twenty-five cents per week in his pay, providing the Board of Education approves.

RULES FOR TEACHERS 1915

You will NOT marry during the term of your contract.

You are NOT to keep company with men.

You MUST be home between the hours of 8pm and 6am unless attending a school function.

You MAY NOT loiter downtown in ice cream stores.

You MAY NOT ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother.

You MAY NOT travel beyond the city limits without the permission of the chairman of the board.

You MAY NOT smoke cigarettes.

You MAY NOT dress in bright colors.

You may UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES dye your hair.

You must wear AT LEAST two petticoats.

Your dresses must NOT be any shorter than two inches above the ankle.

Duties

To keep the schoolroom clean you must:

*Sweep the floor at least once daily.

*Scrub the floor with hot soapy water at least once a week.

*Start a fire at 7 am so that the room will be warm by 8 am.



*********************
I'm sure there are those that feel many of the above rules should still be enforced.

Home between 8 pm and 6 am? Well, yeah. That's when I'm sleeping.

[airportkid]

Originally Posted by Godiva

Have you ever read the vintage duties of a school teacher?

Reminds me of another teachers' list - a list of top teachers' concerns 1950 vs the same in 2000:

1950 top classroom problems:

chewing gum in class
tardy to class
whispering in class
late or unfinished homework


2000 top classroom problems:

chronic truancy
drug addiction
pregnancy
assaulting the teacher
assaulting other students




MB

[nerfer]

Originally Posted by airportkid

You got me, I'm busted. I wouldn't have passed my powerplant license without knowing how to operate a torquewrench. Or change oil. I just didn't want to dignify the thing by listing what I could or couldn't do when the list is arbitrary (and even presented in a sexist manner, which made it worse).

MB

You probably couldn't get your pilot's license if you couldn't navigate with a compass and map as well. I didn't bother going thru the whole list, for reasons others have said. But if you want to save money, it's good to be able to do many of these things. Having an understanding of how physical things work is not bad or useless, and they did try to pick a wide variety of things so a person could be well-rounded.

To nitpick, I think a person should be able to back up a vehicle before backing up a trailer, they didn't bother mentioning that one. Most people can get out of a parking spot, but if they have to do anything more than a simple curve, they get in trouble. I don't know how many times I see people trying to get out of a parking spot and they have to go back and forth 3 or 4 times because they have absolutely no idea how big their vehicle is and they leave 6 feet of room behind and in front of their vehicle (especially with SUVs). Meanwhile people are waiting on them to get out of the way. Growing up on a farm, I've done a bit of backing up trailers, and yes, the two-wheeled kinds are fine, but get a four-wheeled one with a swivel hitch, and I have trouble, but my uncle can do two such trailers caravaned together (for short distances) which just awes me.

As a Macintosh user however, I don't know how to protect my computer and do weekly virus scans. I did ask someone this last summer to show me how to fillet a fish, so maybe that redeems me?