Olympic Scandal

[abq sfr]

Now THIS is funny...


August 13, 2008

China’s Gold Medals Found to Have High Lead Content

Phelps Warned Not to Lick Medals

China's impressive haul of gold medals at the Beijing Olympics was tarnished somewhat today when it was revealed that "abnormally high levels of lead" were found in the first-place medallions.

The medals, which were supposed to be made entirely of gold, were instead found to be composed of 99% lead alloy and coated with a gold-colored lead-based paint.

The shocking revelations roiled the Olympic complex today and sent officials looking for answers from the Chinese manufacturer of the medals, the Wuhan One Hundred Percent Gold Medal Corporation.

"We are trying to determine how exactly so much lead got into those gold medals," said a spokesman for Wuhan, China's largest exporter of gold medals. "Until we do, we are urging all first-place athletes not to lick, taste or suck on their medals."

The news about the potentially toxic gold medals spread panic among Olympic champions, especially U.S. swimming phenom Michael Phelps.

"I am very, very concerned about my extensive contact with gold medals," Mr. Phelps told reporters. "But what am I supposed to do? Stop being so awesome?"

In other Olympic news, China's hopes for winning more medals in women's gymnastics were dashed when one of their leading gymnasts vanished down a bathtub drain on Tuesday.

Immediately after Jiang Qimin's disappearance, Beijing authorities launched a search for the acclaimed seven-pound athlete.

Jiang had been the subject of speculation earlier this week as many foreign observers doubted China's claims that the two-foot-tall gymnast was sixteen years old.

In an interview with NBC's Bob Costas on Monday, Jiang sparked controversy with this response to a question about her age: "I want my sippy cup."

[malorn]

Originally Posted by abq sfr

Now THIS is funny...


August 13, 2008

China’s Gold Medals Found to Have High Lead Content

Phelps Warned Not to Lick Medals

China's impressive haul of gold medals at the Beijing Olympics was tarnished somewhat today when it was revealed that "abnormally high levels of lead" were found in the first-place medallions.

The medals, which were supposed to be made entirely of gold, were instead found to be composed of 99% lead alloy and coated with a gold-colored lead-based paint.

The shocking revelations roiled the Olympic complex today and sent officials looking for answers from the Chinese manufacturer of the medals, the Wuhan One Hundred Percent Gold Medal Corporation.

"We are trying to determine how exactly so much lead got into those gold medals," said a spokesman for Wuhan, China's largest exporter of gold medals. "Until we do, we are urging all first-place athletes not to lick, taste or suck on their medals."

The news about the potentially toxic gold medals spread panic among Olympic champions, especially U.S. swimming phenom Michael Phelps.

"I am very, very concerned about my extensive contact with gold medals," Mr. Phelps told reporters. "But what am I supposed to do? Stop being so awesome?"

In other Olympic news, China's hopes for winning more medals in women's gymnastics were dashed when one of their leading gymnasts vanished down a bathtub drain on Tuesday.

Immediately after Jiang Qimin's disappearance, Beijing authorities launched a search for the acclaimed seven-pound athlete.

Jiang had been the subject of speculation earlier this week as many foreign observers doubted China's claims that the two-foot-tall gymnast was sixteen years old.

In an interview with NBC's Bob Costas on Monday, Jiang sparked controversy with this response to a question about her age: "I want my sippy cup."

Thank you, now that was funny. I think my nine year old son is taller and heavier than that "16" year old gymnast.

[PriuStorm]

Where is this from? The Onion?

[mingoglia]

[morpheusx]

This one almost had me until I read,
Mr. Phelps told reporters. "But what am I supposed to do? Stop being so awesome?"

he wouldn't have said that. LOL

[abq sfr]

Originally Posted by PriuStorm

Where is this from? The Onion?

OOPS... its actually from this site, I received it in an email.
China?s Gold Medals Found to Have High Lead Content - Borowitz Report

[TimBikes]

Did anyone notice the "16 year old" female Chinese gymnast that was missing a tooth? I mean really, 16 and still losing teeth? More like 12.

[tochatihu]

Read Borowitz' archive of story titles. I say "Chive" not "Onion".

[08 mag grey]

This is from an official olymoic site.

The IOC has strict stipulation on the Olympic medals' material, identification, weight, size and drawing. The medals for the champion and the runner-up are made of pure silver, and the champion's medal must be plated with gold weighing not less than six grams each. For the first time jade is used for the Olympic medals. The design not only meets the IOC requirements, but also expresses praise and honor that the Chinese people cherish for the Olympic Spirit and the Olympic athletes.

[Godiva]

The front is the same except for year and location. The reverse design is at the discretion of the host. Here is the back design for this year with the inlaid jade: