Happy April Fools Day!

The tragedy is I can see someone at GM reading this and going....hey, there may be something here!

The crock,
From GM? How appropriate! But it won't run on electricity ... no ... it'll have a 6.9 liter V8, and weigh in excess of 6,000 lbs

More April Foolery

I like this one

BT JUSTICE: BACK SEAT DRIVING
THE NAME GAME
Auto Industry Agrees To Unprecedented Standardization of Vehicle Names

Shopping for a car or truck is about to become a lot less confusing.

In a move unprecedented in automotive history, all of the world’s major auto manufactures today announced an agreement on a global, alphanumeric naming convention.

The announcement was made simultaneously in Tokyo, Seoul, Shanghai, Munich, Paris and Detroit through a global video news conference.

“Just look at how vehicles are named,†said Wendelin Wiedeking, CEO of Porsche. “There’s xA, xB and xD, X3, X5, EXT, EX35 and M45. Worst of all are the dreaded three-letter combos, such as HHR, RSX, DBS and SLR. It’s nothing but meaningless alphabet soup.â€

Building on Wiedeking’s comments, Robert A. Lutz, General Motors’ vice chairman of Global Product Development, said, “Vehicle names is one of the most complicated, nonsensical parts of the car business.â€

“Some days I’ve mixed up the names of my own products, like CTS, DTS and STS,†said Lutz. “I honestly don’t know how a consumer can be expected to tell an MKX from an MDX from a hole in the ground.â€

The naming convention was hammered out over the last year in secret, high-level meetings.

“Some elements were no-brainers,†said Takeo Fukui, president of Honda. “For example, we quickly reached consensus that there will be no restrictions on using traditional vehicle names, like Accord and Civic, but it took months for everyone to agree to use a maximum of two letters. That means Acura will have to change the names of three of the five models we sell in the U.S.â€

The most difficult and time-consuming part of the multi-company negotiation was allocating letters to each manufacturer in order to prevent confusion among consumers.

Volvo fought hard to keep the letter “S,†which it has long used as a prefix for its sedan names, such as S60 and S80, but Audi also wanted to continue using “S†for its performance models, such as S6 and S8.

Similarly, Ford wanted to keep “F†as the prefix for its full-size pickup trucks, such as the F-150, but Ferrari also uses “F†in its vehicle names. In the end, Ferrari agreed to pay Ford $430 million for exclusive use of “F†as the first letter in a vehicle name.

“We really wanted to keep ‘F,’†said Alan R. Mulally, president and CEO of Ford. “It means a lot to us, but we couldn’t say no to the cash. We’d like to sell the ‘E’ we use for our E-Series vans, but so far we haven’t found a taker. We’re still talking with some of the Chinese manufacturers.â€

Senior executives of every major automaker took part in the global news conference, and many told firsthand stories of customer confusion – and even their own confusion over vehicle names.

“I met a woman in the service department of a Lexus dealer in Silicon Valley and asked which model she drove,†said Katsuaki Watanabe, president of Toyota. “She told me it was a 350. I asked if it was an ES 350, GS 350 or an IS 350. She looked at me like I was nuts. She said, ‘It’s a Lexus 350. It doesn’t have any letters.’

“That got me thinking about all of the other vehicle names out there that include 350,†said Watanabe. “Nissan has the 350Z, there’s the Hyundai XG350, Ford’s got an F-350. No wonder people are confused.â€

Li Jianxin, chairman of Chanfeng Motors, told of overhearing two gentlemen at a party discuss how much each liked his G5. “I mentioned I also owned a G5,†said Li.

“But it turns out one of them was talking about a Canon camera and the other about a Pontiac. I’m sorry I butted in because I was referring to my Gulfstream jet. It was somewhat embarrassing.â€

Highlights of the naming convention include:
• BMW will continue to use “Series†while Ford, Volvo and Mazda will stop using it
• Mercedes will have exclusive use of “Class,†but it will be able to use only two logically related letters for vehicle names
• Aston Martin is changing the two-letter designation of its cars from DB to JB, for “James Bondâ€
• Because of past overuse, X can no longer be used unless it’s part of a true name (e.g., Taurus X)
• Only automakers that export products today will be able to use single or double letters. New manufacturers will be able to use names only

“Many auto executives felt luxury buyers preferred cryptic names,†said Carlos Ghosn, CEO of Renault and Nissan. “But research tells us most people, no matter their income level, prefer that vehicles have names, rather than random letters and numbers.

“We expect the GANC (Global Automotive Nomenclature Convention) will give us a new generation of car names of the stature of Mustang, Eldorado, Alpine and Skyline.â€

Note: Mumbai was supposed to be among the cities taking part in the announcement because of Tata Motors’ recent purchase of Jaguar Land Rover, which put the company, and India, into the ranks of world-class automotive production. Unspecified technical problems prevented a communications link.

LA Car.com - The Cars and Culture of Southern California Magazine & Directory - BACK SEAT DRIVING - APRIL 2008