THE LOSERS THREAD

Okay folks. Everone who has nothing better to do than sit at home in front of the computer on Christmas day; everyone who has no friends or family to spend today with; let's all us losers form a club. Maybe you put up a tree and put a present for yourself under it. Or maybe, like me, you think that cutting down a living, breathing, tree for anything as hollow as decoration is perverse. Maybe you mailed yourself a Christmas card. Or maybe it was too depressing to remind yourself just how alone you are. Maybe (like me!) you don't celebrate Christmas at all because you aren't a Christian, and anyway it makes you depressed to see how someone who had so many good ideas about how people should treat each other is so disrespected by his own followers that they've turned his birthday into an orgy of greed and consumerism. Whatever you believe about today, if you are sitting in front of the computer instead of being with friends or family, JOIN THE CLUB!

 

Welcome, all, to the Losers' Club! Even if you've all joined just to express the contrary opinion.

GreenMachine: Sorry to disappoint you, but yes, I'm a loser all right. All the money I've got, and I can't even get a date! Lucky in money, unlucky in love. I'm not rich enough to attract a fortune-hunter, not good-looking enough to attract the kind of shallow person who goes for looks, and too grumpy to attract a normal well-adjusted woman.

I did once pass up the opportunity to become a bipolar Mexican nymphomaniac's number-two lover (out of a stable of three - - not counting one-night stands). She actually prefered ugly men, and was too engrossed in herself to notice my grumpiness. She'd have married me to get out of Mexico, but was honest enough to admit that she'd continue to have lovers on the side. Probably never more than 2 or 3 at a time. She wasn't real big on one-night stands. Just once in a while when she was more manic than usual.

Tag: PriusChat is a great board, but it's pretty pathetic when your only friends within a thousand miles are disembodied usernames on a computer screen.

Notsure: My cat died 15 years ago. The cat in my avatar belongs to a friend in Spain. (Though he looks a lot like mine.) Circumstances have not been favorable since then to get another cat. First travel, then living in a no-pets apartment, right now another trip coming up.

Dave: sounds like you fall into the honorary member category: delayed Christmas due to scheduling. I'll see my mom and my sister in a week and a half, on my way to the antipodes (scheduled stopover to reduce the liklihood of a missed flight). But for me, that's got nothing to do with the holidays.

I've got loser stamped all over me and women can see it a mile away.

So come on, folks, don't be ashamed! Jump right in and join the club.

 

LOSERS CLUB RECIPE - - EASY PRETTY GOOD CHRISTMAS DINNER FOR ONE

A nice-sized chunk of cabbage
One large carrot
One decent-sized new potato
Half an onion
A bit of garlic if you have any on hand.
(Substitute whatever you have on hand for the above, if necessary.)

Chop and put in a soup pan.

Add:

one can Progresso Minestrone
one small can of shrinp
one can green Giant "Mexicorn"
one can V-8 Juice
one packet baked tofu, cubed.
(As above, substitute whatever you have on hand for the above, if necessary.)

Bring to a boil; reduce to a simmer; cook for about a half an hour. Enjoy while listening to a podcast of Democracy Now! so that the depressing news enables you to convince yourself that the human race is pathetic and you're better off alone.

 

No doubt the decorating of trees began as a pagan thing, and given the time of year was probably a solstice thing. I'm going to be a bit of a curmudgeon and say that cutting the trees down and bringing them indoors was because Americans are too lazy, soft, and house-bound to do anything outside; too callous towards nature to care that the trees died afterwards; and that, of course, this was the only way to commercialize it and make money out of it.

Jack: I've run ads, and I've answered others' ads. I'm currently listed on Match-dot-com and a few other similar sites. I even ran an ad once for a travel companion, all expenses to be paid by me. That last got me a couple of responses, but after a meeting over coffee both women declined to pursue the matter further. Match-dot-com and the others have gotten me nothing. One women, once, had the courtesy to reply with a polite No thank you, but nobody else has even replied. The only one who's ever written to me from one of those ads was in Russia. The travel ad got me a few phone calls from women in their 60's and 70's (I had neglected to mention my age in my ad) who were looking for companions for cruising and ballroom dancing. I cannot dance and I get seasick. Once I get back from my trip to the antipodes I'll probably write to a few women on match-dot-com here in Spokane.

I admit, of course, that I'm not looking for just anybody.

The idea that there's "someone for everyone" is, poppycock in my opinion. People meet by chance, and if they click they get together. Your chances are improved if you are good-looking, fun to be with, good-natured, etc., and the less picky you are the better your chances are. Once upon a time if you were reasonably affluent there were plenty of people who'd overlook any other shortcomings you might have. Nowadays, even single mothers on welfare, or working two jobs just to squeeze by, would rather go it alone, just to prove that they don't need a man; and if you have money they'll reject you just out of fear that it might appear as though they had married you for your money.

I'm extremely progressive in my politics, but extremely conservative in my lifestyle, so I don't fit in anywhere. The kind of woman who wants a stay-at-home guy who doesn't drink or smoke and can't dance (too uncoordinated) would not tolerate my firebrand radicalism or my athiesm; and the kind of women who wants a firebrand athiest, smokes and wants a guy who'll take her out drinking and dancing. I fall between the cracks and always have.

As for Festivus, it looks very amusing. I've never been a Seinfield fan, though. I've seen the show a couple of times, at the homes of friends who refused to turn off the TV. The guy with the wild hair was very funny. The rest of the show was too dull for words.