As the unofficial spokesman of Fred's House of Pancakes, I'd like to welcome you all here. I know some of you have been visiting for a while, and some of you may be newer, or have just discovered this place. Well, in order for Fred's House of Pancakes to continue to be a successful and happy environment, I figured it was time for the unofficial spokesman to be, well, a spokesman. Here at Fred's House of Pancakes, we accept all, regardless of age, race, gender, creed, national origin, sexual orientation, party affiliation, height, or elven characteristics. Of course, you know, that means there will be plenty of people not like yourself, and you're expected to get along with them, or else you'll have to get along with the bouncers. Oh yes, the bouncers. Let me introduce them all, as they help keep order around here. First, a well known figure, TonyPSchaefer. Tony is known around here, as he was a very active customer even before he became a bouncer. It is a little known fact that the "P" stands for "Piss him off and there will be all hell to pay." A citizen of the Chicagoland area, he has a penchant for high efficiency and aversion of long drives. Another well known figure is efusco. The doc, as some know him, is also responsible for keeping order. He is a significant contributor to the various conversations that occur in FHOP and elsewhere, and is valued for his input. He brings a little bit of Missouri good ol' home cooking to FHOP. That brings me to Tag. You can never accuse him of doggin' it, he's also very valued around here. Like Tony, he is also from Chicagoland, and chips in often with his helpful knowledge and insight. We here at FHOP respect him, and hope others can get along with his friendly demeanor. Unfortunately, Wolfman just retired as a bouncer. It is a shame, because if you want a bouncer, Wolfman is a perfect name for him. We wish him luck in his future endeavors, and hold out hope that one day, he'll be back. Of course now, I can't leave out the owner, Danny. Peculiarly enough, he started up this joint, yet no one's even seen him eat a pancake, although he says he likes them, and he will eat one in the future. I know we'll all cheer that one day he gets his Prius.... I mean pancake. Some may wonder who Fred is. Fred, a shy fellow, is a reluctant figurehead for the joint. Someone may have to coax him out in the future. Going back to getting along: indeed, it may be difficult, but for the bouncers' sake and your own sanity, it would be much appreciated. Here at FHOP, we know that if we see a flaming pancake, you're not going to put it out by blowing hot air at it; instead, break out the Aunt Jemima's and smother it with maple sugary goodness. I hope everyone enjoys the pancakes we have to offer, and that we can all get along to continue FHOP's rich tradition.