Why did the chicken cross the road

tleonhar · Jun 9, 2006

Just got this in an email, too funny!

Why did the chicken cross the road? (New twist)

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH:

Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2005, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^( C \ .... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

>>

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enjoy :lol:

Mystery Squid · Jun 9, 2006

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.
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YES!!! :lol:

jared2 · Jun 9, 2006

We first have to examine the assumptions that the so called "chicken" did, in fact cross the so called "road". How does the chicken define "the other" in relation to "self"? Is it not in order to set up a dichotomy between that space which can properly be defined as belong to the active principle and that space which can properly be defined as belonging to the passive principle, assuming the validity of such a dichotomy which I will grant for the sake of argument. In this senario, the "road" becomes a contested space over which the chicken may or may not cross. What is the nature of this contested space? It is the "roadness" of the road, the road not as an actual road but as the idealized form of road. So the question becomes - can the chicken, as chicken cross the road as road or is it rather, impossible to move through a contested space to resolve the dichotomy?
And would this then become the road less travelled or the road less crossed? You decide.

Mystery Squid · Jun 9, 2006

Do we have any "proof" there is an imminent threat the chicken will cross the road?

h34r:

Tempus · Jun 9, 2006

The Chicken did not cross the road!!!

It is all a conspiracy by the Government/Media/Big Business/Organized Religion/Unions/Communist/John Birch/Telecom/Military/Act Up/Cub Scout Cabal!!!!

You heard it here first. Do not be blinded by the evil-doers!

galaxee · Jun 9, 2006

what we didn't address is what kind of massive damage the chicken will leave in his footsteps... :lol:

eyeguy13 · Jun 9, 2006

To get to the other side! Duh!

huskers · Jun 9, 2006

I could tell you but the NSA might be listening!!!??? :mellow:

Why did the chicken cross the road

tleonhar Senior Member

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Why did the chicken cross the road

tleonhar Senior Member

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Mystery Squid Junior Member

Tempus Senior Member

galaxee mostly benevolent

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