The sad end of William Tyndale

Excerpt from a course description "Book of Genesis" from The Teaching Company:

Burned at the stake by Christians for translating the Bible into English! Can anyone maintain that this is not a bloodthirsty religion? What is there of Jesus in a religion that burns its own believers at the stake for making its own scriptures available to people who speak neither Hebrew, Greek, nor Latin?

And make no mistake: They stopped burning people at the stake only when they lost the political power to do so.

 

Apparently he was beatified for opposing Henry VIII's split with Rome. But as you say, burning people at the stake seems to be no impediment to being made a saint.

William Tyndale seemed to me a particularly telling example, but as you point out, there is no shortage of examples of Christianity's bloodthirstiness and barbaric cruelty.

 

But the point is that Christians admire people who've committed murder, as long as they did it in the name of Christianity or the government of their country. Look at how we admire soldiers. People don't think that murder is bad. They only think that murder for your own personal selfish reasons is bad. If you kill people to take their money, or because it gives you sexual pleasure, you are the devil's spawn. But if you commit murder for a "higher" reason, such as god or patriotism, you are considered selfless and noble.

I just think it's really really weird that killing someone for translating your own sacred scriptures into your own language is considered noble, and that the translator is vilified.

 

Jesus was a pretty cool dude. He kept telling people to be nice to each other. Then Paul came along and said, "Don't pay any attention to what Jesus said; just believe that he was god and you'll be okay." So all of a sudden it wasn't about how you lived your life or being nice to people, it was about believing the right thing. And pretty soon it was about killing anyone who believed the wrong thing.

Sad really.

I won't spoil the end for you, though, I mean about how it goes for Jesus. Just be careful who you tell what you believe, because there's folks out there who still believe Paul instead of Jesus and will kill you for believing the wrong thing. And not all of them are Muslims.

 

Awww! You're spoiling it for him.

Not every one: There have been no documented incidents of Pastafarians killing anyone in the name of the FSM or the prophet, Bobby Henderson.

(Note that while pirates are regarded as the chosen people in the orthodox version of Pastafarianism, pirates are not Pastafarians. This may be the only religion in the world that regards non-believers as the chosen people. And there is already a schism of Pastafarians --myself included-- who believe that even though a reduction in pirate numbers is the cause of global warming, pirates are not the chosen people. The Prophet was mistaken on that point. He incorrectly assumed that the FSM regards global warming as a bad thing, and so wrongly concluded that pirates were the chosen people. It is entirely possible that the FSM wants the Earth to warm up, in order to keep its meatballs hot. Thus the reduction in pirate numbers is a good thing from the FSM's point of view, and they are not the chosen people after all.)

 

You know, Tony, the more times you repeat the same joke, the less funny it becomes. Tell this one three or four more times, and we'll stop laughing at it.

So, how're you coming with the Bible? Have you got to the part where he curses a tree because the tree won't give him fruit even though it's not the season for fruit? Cool dude, but a few masts shy of a clipper ship.

 

Religion has not been taken out of government, but clerics only run a few countries these days, and they are the most repressive of nations. Douglass Adams said that nobody who wants to be president should ever be allowed to be. This is true. But even more true is that clerics should never be given political power.

Burritos has as his sig line:

I cannot vouch for the attribution, but there is much truth in the quote.

That is chilling. Not funny at all.