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eHarmony failure

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by daniel, Jun 30, 2010.

  1. SSimon

    SSimon Active Member

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    Daniel,

    No offense to the people here trying to give you dating advise, but I would reject it all and just tell you to simply continue to be yourself. You'll either find someone or you won't. Just be comfortable and happy living your life in either scenario.

    Dating is not something you can pigeon hole and I suspect it would be hard for you to be a "bastard" as it just doesn't seem in your make up. Even if it was and you located a woman that was attracted to this, do you really want a life partner that thinks so little of herself that she likes to be treated with such little regard? Based on whatever I know if you, I would suspect not.

    Whatever satisfaction you would gain from finding someone by amending your personality would surely wear off as you seem to be looking for a long term companion and that can only be gained by mutual truth, consideration and honesty in a relationship.

    Just my two cents.
     
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  2. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    One told me I was "too intense," whatever that means. I think it means I don't hide my opinions. Another made it clear that it was because I disagree with her view that all doctors are in a great conspiracy to hide 100% safe "natural" remedies from us while pushing harmful drugs on us, and that everything labeled as "natural" or "alternative" is 100% safe and is more effective than evidence-based medicine (which she calls "allopathic"). I never criticized her, but I presented calm, logical arguments against her view. (E.g., cobra venom is 100% natural, yet it is not safe at all, and independent testing has shown that there is no consistency in the dosage of those "natural" drugs you buy in health-food stores, even within the same brand from one batch to the next.)

    So it would appear that my opinions and my habit of defending them (as I do constantly here in Fred's) is one problem. I've tried keeping my mouth shut, but I'm constitutionally incapable of it. I am, however, respectful in my arguments and I never attack the person; I merely point out the flaws in the position.

    But it's much more common for women to say "It's not you, it's me" when declining to go out with me, or else to claim that they just don't want a relationship.
     
  3. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    I'm not sure whether by "ho's" you are referring to professional sex workers, or to promiscuous non-professionals. (Why is it that men will call a woman who has sex outside of marriage a whore, or its abbreviation "ho," but they don't refer to themselves as whores for having sex with those same women?)

    There may be plenty of promiscuous women out there, but they only have sex with guys they are attracted to. Apparently that includes you. It does not include me.

    As for hookers, I am sure Spokane has them, but I have no idea where to find them, and I'd probably be too shy to go looking for them if I did. And since a hooker is an independent contractor, and can charge what she likes, she is likely to charge me ten grand for the same service she'd give you for twenty-five bucks.

    Just for curiosity, I've looked on the internet, and there are, in effect, catalogs of hookers in Seattle, with pictures, but not for Spokane. And anyway, I want a relationship. I don't think a quick screw would satisfy me. And though I can afford to travel to cool places 4 or 5 times a year, I don't think I could afford to hire a hooker to pretend to be my girlfriend full time.
     
  4. SageBrush

    SageBrush Senior Member

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    In that, you are not alone.

    Intellect used for mutual enjoyment is tough to master. Most people do not want a debate partner, or to listen ad nauseum about the world's faults. Qbee I think is an example of intelligence that attracts people rather than repels them.
     
  5. SageBrush

    SageBrush Senior Member

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    I'll give you 2:1 odds that Jayman will proudly proclaim himself the Ho's Ho.
     
  6. Stev0

    Stev0 Honorary Hong Kong Cavalier

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    Mmmm, Ho-hos.

    [​IMG]

    Ob. Dating Advice: You can have a relationship, or you can correct somebody's error. You can't do both.

    Helpful Pro Tip: Say things that are 180 degrees from the truth ("You're right, Glenn Beck DOES give an intelligent, logical argument on that topic.")

    Unhelpful Pro Tip (Advanced): I don't do the above.
     
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  7. bredekamp

    bredekamp Member

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    We still love you.
     
  8. TheForce

    TheForce Stop War! Lets Rave! Make Love!

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    Here is my favorite answer to that.

    An answer to the age old question of why if a girl kisses 5 guys she is a slut but if a guy has sex with 5 girls he is a stud.

    If one lock is opened by 5 keys its a s***ty lock. If one key opens 5 locks its a master key. :D
     
  9. djasonw

    djasonw Active Member

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    I also heard that they were sued by the gay community for not allowing those individuals to join the service. I probably would never get approved. I'm born Jewish (do not practice at all). I am gay, and I own a Prius. I do on occasion vote republican.
     
  10. SageBrush

    SageBrush Senior Member

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    There, you answered your own question.
     
  11. kenmce

    kenmce High Voltage Member

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    My understanding is that if you don't claim to be Christian they will auto-fail your application.
     
  12. BigJay

    BigJay reh reh REH reh Torture them!

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    Nope, read the salon article, rejection only happens automatically if you're gay (or violent, suicidally depressed, etc).

    I did read the Salon article, and one of the "dimensions of compatibility" is intellect. If you are a couple of standard deviations above the average IQ, then 95% of the possible matches will be automatically unavailable to you. It could be that Daniel is just too bright for his own damn good. Your fault mate.

    (I'd insert some crack about eHarmony christians being that 95%, but I fear the wrath of the moderators. I'll leave that for burritos.)
     
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  13. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    I did admit to being depressed occasionally. Who isn't, occasionally? Apparently they don't approve of people who can be depressed. But I saw no questions that would allow them to assess my I.Q., though I like the suggestion that anybody who can actually believe in religion is not terribly bright. There was an article in UU World a while back discussing why the UU attracts so few poor people. The suggestion was that uneducated people (and in this country we do not provide much education to the poor) like to have their answers handed to them. The UU requires its adherents to think for themselves. You can believe whatever you like, but you have to make up your own mind what, if anything, you will believe in, and that does not appeal to the uneducated.

    The real mystery to me is that some seemingly otherwise intelligent people believe in religion, though I've never met an intelligent fundamentalist.
     
  14. andino

    andino Senior Member

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    I'm just curious as to why you think this. The fundamentals of religion can teach a person to be a good, truthful, and accepting individual. However, when taken in the literal sense, it is a bit illogical in how the stories came to be. But religion is just a set of stories, reading behind the words as well as understanding what is trying to be taught takes a bit of critical thinking.

    Maybe I'm misinterpreting what you're trying to say but I would like to hear more on what your thoughts are.

    edit: Since it is a bit OT, we could just continue via PM.
     
  15. bisco

    bisco cookie crumbler

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    good idea.;)
     
  16. BigJay

    BigJay reh reh REH reh Torture them!

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    I was only joking about that, to be honest nearly all of the smartest people I know are religious. That's assuming Hindu counts as a religion to you, and if it doesn't I'd point out that one belief system really isn't any different from another when it comes down to having faith in something that cannot be scientifically proven. That doesn't make someone stupid, and if you really think so then come with me to Bangalore or Mumbai on my next business trip.

    But this thread is about getting Daniel more dates, I'd really recommend the book that Jayman put up. It's absolute gold. This book is soley intended to get you out of the "friend zone" permanently, and point out exactly why you are there to begin with. You want to know why Daniel? Seriously, it tells you.

    Sadly it never explained why most of the women I dated were flat out insane. Hell, one was so batsh!t crazy she stalked me! Please tell me that I'm not the only "crazy woman" magnet out here. Yeah, yeah I know, the bipolar chicks need love too right?
     
  17. a_gray_prius

    a_gray_prius Rare Non-Old-Blowhard Priuschat Member

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    What does it tell you about the company if they group psychopaths, bipolar people, and homosexuals together?
     
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  18. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    Almost but not quite

    With sex?? I don't get it. Not even sure how that is possible


    You're never gonna get laid with an attitude like that

    Ding!

    Because, that's why

    Bull. As long as you don't act weird, a ho will sleep with just about anything with a pulse

    Have you seen some of the bottom-feeder trash that good looking women attach themselves to? Downright scary

    If you wish, I will PM you the various rates they charge around here for various "services"

    So get a dog or cat

    Well, DUH

    MMMMmmmmm!

    The shy co-worker at the office said after he got that book and read it, he suddenly understood why I was getting more than I could handle

    After reading through the book, it was creepy how much I had in common with the "bastard" category. So I guess that explains why I almost always score

    I've just reached the conclusion that there are some seriously nutty women out there. No rhyme or reason to it, maybe something in the water?

    The one stalker I had, they finally had to lock her up at Health Sciences PSY2 ward and give her shock treatment. Seriously. She was a DEEPLY disturbed person

    But the sex was fantastic, so it all balances out

    I guess as long as I plugged her into the wall every night, she would have remained sane

    You know, like charging your BlackBerry every night
     
  19. BigJay

    BigJay reh reh REH reh Torture them!

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    Oh gawd yes! The crazy ones are where you find the 3AM, screaming at the top of her lungs, on top of the dryer in laundry room sex.

    Then there's the drama, and the stalking, and the throwing things, and then the other kind of screaming over nothing. I even got stabbed with a fork once. Good times...
     
  20. a_gray_prius

    a_gray_prius Rare Non-Old-Blowhard Priuschat Member

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    I got stuff and money stolen. Not sure if that ends up translating to paying for sex.

    But let me gt this straight: both jayman AND BigJay are endorsing the book?