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LA Times: "Hummer - An American Excess Story"

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by Arroyo, Aug 26, 2004.

  1. Arroyo

    Arroyo Member

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    It's Big, It's Thirsty, It's the Hummer -- an American Excess Story
    Patt Morrison, Los Angeles Times


    On the very day last week that the price of a barrel of crude oil was higher than it has ever been in the history of crude oil barrels, I was — choose one:

    (a) Bankrolling terrorism.

    (B) Exercising my God-given American right to make free choices, even moronic ones.

    © Raping the planet.

    (d) Being a road hog.

    (e) All of the above.

    The answer is (e). I was driving an H2 — junior heir of the original war-wagon Humvee. California, naturally, has more Hummers than any other state — more than 3,000, and that was before Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Hummer's designated driver, ran for governor and even more guys ran out to imitate him.

    My rented H2 was a subtle gray, unobtrusive in the way that Orson Welles would be unobtrusive in a charcoal pinstriped suit.

    It is one obnoxious hunk of steel, plastic and wishful thinking. It was so big that you could measure it in hands, like a horse. I sat up so high I was eye to eye with the driver of a cement-mixing truck. It was so tall that the antenna twanged like a guitar string against every beam in my underground garage. It had all the nimbleness of the Nimitz. It was so wide that I gave up trying to get a veggie burger at the Burger King drive-thru because I concluded "drive-thru" would mean "drive thru the back wall."

    I know a woman whose Hyundai got crumpled like a Kleenex by a dad in a Hummer who didn't hear her horn, see her car or even feel the smash when he backed up without checking the specially installed rear-view cam that was supposed to guarantee things like that wouldn't happen.

    I tried to entice Ed Begley Jr. to go for a spin with me. Nope, not a chance in Iraq. "I'm proud to say," he said, "I've never been in one." Driving his electrics and hybrids, as he has for 14 years, is "the most patriotic thing I can do." (Last year, the Detroit Project began airing sly TV ads, parodies of the White House's drugs-fund-terrorism proclamations, suggesting that driving an SUV was tantamount to funding terrorism.)

    So, forced to go solo, I did my field research:

    My neighbor Hap: "Nice little compact you got there."

    My neighbor Kim: "That thing makes mine [an SUV] look like a VW, so shut up!"

    Restaurant valet (risking his tip): "Here is your carrito [little car]."

    Man trying to squeak past in green Volvo: I can't print it but it was the word Dick Cheney hurled at a U.S. senator.

    Mostly, the sight of the H2 made male faces go slack-jawed. I felt like Angelyne in a tube top. Two boys in the back seat of a Toyota waved and thumbs-upped frantically. I've got to give it to GM: The H2 is adolescent road candy, a power fantasy brilliantly marketed, a four-wheeled pheromone.

    But I'll let you in on this: My Hummer was a paper tiger. It accelerated like a wheelchair on an upslope. It was a Macy's Thanksgiving balloon, huge and unwieldy, with plastic bits where I expected sheet metal, and all the cushy conveniences of a high-end recliner. It was Mr. T on the outside, Mr. Rogers on the inside.

    Why pick on a poor defenseless Hummer? Lots of cars get crummy mileage. Lots of cars are showy and preposterously impractical. The H2 has become the symbol of all that and worse. It is the secondhand smoke of vehicles and unwise at any speed.

    The Hummer doesn't have to play by the other guys' rules because it's so heavy that it falls into a category meant for big equipment for farmers and such. A condo-dwelling salesman buying a 3-ton-plus Hummer for his job can get a tax credit up to $100,000. (A hybrid-car purchaser like me gets $1,500.) In the same incredible-hulk tax-credit category are those other well-known pieces of farm equipment, the Cadillac Escalade, Chevrolet Suburban and Lincoln Navigator.

    Any wheeled behemoth over 4.5 tons — the "gross vehicle weight rating" of the H2 — is exempt from pollution emissions, another perk meant for heavy machinery. Its very size lets it dodge the gas-guzzler tax on sedans half its size and twice its mpg.

    And because it doesn't have to post its mpg numbers, you have to rent one to do the math. Mine got, at a stretch, maybe 10 miles per gallon on roads and freeways, without running the AC.

    The Hummer reminds me of billionaire oilman Harold Simmons. During the drought of 15 years ago, when his Montecito neighbors patriotically let their lawns go brown, Simmons poured nearly 10 million gallons of water onto his gardens — enough to keep a family of four in showers for 28 years. Why not? He could afford it. Maybe you can afford a Hummer.

    The question is, can the rest of us?

    http://www.latimes.com/news/pr...mment


    ---------------------------------------------
    The Hummer & the Hybrid
     
  2. TonyPSchaefer

    TonyPSchaefer Your Friendly Moderator
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    I'm speechless.
     
  3. bookrats

    bookrats New Member

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    Hilarious article!!
     
  4. Sun__Tzu

    Sun__Tzu New Member

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    I think part of the reason people hate Hummers and H2s more than other SUVs is b/c of their sheer size. At least for me, its annoying not to be able to see the traffic around me on the road or in a parking lot b/c I'm next to a massive steel box.

    And technically, oil hasn't hit an all-time high yet. I think $70 is the magic number, adjusted for inflation. So it'll take another exploded pipeline or two...
     
  5. sids8065

    sids8065 New Member

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    I am a prius owner and I also own a Jeep Wrangler. Every vehicle has its set of characteristics that are unique. If someone wants to drive a Hummer, it is their call. To each their own. Why the animosity and hatred. I have seen similar kind of hatred for prius owners. Cant anyone drive a car these days without getting picked and hated on. Grow up
     
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  6. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    So it's ok when H2 owners brag about being able to kill other drivers?
     
  7. cwerdna

    cwerdna Senior Member

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    It's because people who drive the H2 are driving 6400+ lbs. uber-monstrosity battering rams of death. From simple physics kinetic energy = 1/2 * mass * velocity^2. Someone driving one of those vs. say a 3000-3500 lb. medium sized car will do FAR more damage to another car, in the event of an accident.

    To top it off, they have nearly the accident avoidance capabilities of any vehicle available to consumers in the form of horrible handling, braking and acceleration.

    Then, there's the whole issue of them gobbling up voracious amounts of a non-renewable resource, about 60% of which we import and much of which resides in regions that don't like us much, some of which ends up in the hands of terrorists. A fair % of the world's oil ends up going through oil chokepoints like the Strait of Hormuz where nut jobs like Ahmadinejad could shut it down by shooting at tankers going through there. We've gone to war at least 2x in recent history over oil. There were 2 oil crises in the 70s when we only imported ~30% of our oil. It lead to very long lines, shortages, rationing, etc.

    The US has <5% of the world's population w/310 million people, yet consumes almost 1/4 of the world's daily oil production and posses <3% of the world's oil reserves. What happens as the middle class of India and China grows which have >1 billion people each and more can afford cars? China's middle class is already at 300+ million.

    The H2 since its GVWR is >8500 lbs. is exempt from fuel economy testing and since it's a "truck", is also exempt from the gas guzzler tax. Its EPA fuel rating is thus unknown, but I've seen figures of typically 9-11 mpg.
     
  8. F8L

    F8L Protecting Habitat & AG Lands

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    Grow up? Maybe you should educate yourself on the effects of automotive pollution on human health, climate, agriculture, and national economy. When someone's choice infringes on my health, the cost of my food, national security, and uses my tax dollars to subsidize his gross habit then I will definitely speak up in opposition. It is no longer a god-given freedom when so many negatives are applied to others.
     
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  9. Rae Vynn

    Rae Vynn Artist In Residence

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    Oh wow... 6 year old thread was brought back to life!
     
  10. F8L

    F8L Protecting Habitat & AG Lands

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    That is how behind the times some people are. ;)
     
  11. cwerdna

    cwerdna Senior Member

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    Maybe it's better than starting a new thread on this... :D:bolt:
     
  12. TonyPSchaefer

    TonyPSchaefer Your Friendly Moderator
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    I deleted a couple posts. Yes, I admit it and those who saw it know what it was.
    The last thing we need is to have some owners stumble upon it and launch a group attack on Priuschat. It's happened in the past based on an otherwise innocuous and in-good-humor post. I just don't want it to happen again based on a link to a site that has no direct association with Priuschat.
     
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  13. jhinsc

    jhinsc Senior Member

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    Within the next 10 to 20 years, I think the days of using 1.5 to 3+ tons of of dead weight hunks of machinery to transport 1 or 2 individuals will come to a close. What a waste of resources! How many times have we seen jacked up, big wheeled crew cab trucks or other similar large vehicle running down the road with only the driver in it? Spend some time in Europe or Japan and you'll find that most people use public transportation (because it's more convenient) or right-sized vehicles for their transportation needs. Sure, people here have their rights to do what they want, but that doesn't make them smart!:rolleyes:
     
  14. nerfer

    nerfer A young senior member

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    I agree completely except with the timeline. There's pressure to change: gas is already over $3 gallon, there was major outcry the first time that happened, but the public generally doesn't want to change: now we don't really care about $3/gal, and I even heard today that SUV sales are picking up.

    However, we also know that high gas prices are bad for the economy, and basically the only way to really reduce oil consumption (which is our single largest part of the trade imbalance, in fact it's 60% of our trade imbalance) is to go into a recession like what happened in 2008. So as cheap oil runs out, our economic growth will continue to be held in check by high gas prices. We obviously need to and I think we will go increasingly to smaller, more nimble and appropriate sized vehicles, but it will take time. And it seems to public acceptance of small cars, the Smart is selling reasonably well, the Mini Cooper is seen as stylish, cars like the Versa and Yaris have been introduced, opening up people's minds to what an acceptable car size is. So I would think in 5-10 years we'll see a large switch in buying habits.

    There are also new rules to increase the CAFE rather significantly for the first time in maybe 20 years, so that should put the pressure on large SUV and truck sales, so that people will only buy them if they actually need them (or am I dreaming again). Now if we could get rid of the ethanol dual-fuel loophole, that would help even more.
     
  15. SlowTurd

    SlowTurd I LIKE PRIUS'S

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    i tried to explain that the gas prices will be going up to a young secretary but, she still had to have her new 2011 jeep grand cherokee.


    "stupid is as stupid does"

    she'll learn the hard way


    [​IMG]
     
  16. Metalman

    Metalman Member

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    Many people will continue to buy and needlessly drive large gas hogs. In fact their family will go without food, clothing, and education before they stop cruising. It's the American way.
     
  17. Skoorbmax

    Skoorbmax Senior Member

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    For some families this is the case.