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So I'm about to lose my right foot.

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by TJandGENESIS, Jan 1, 2008.

  1. eclectcmoi

    eclectcmoi Muffinologist

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    Hey TJ... can I send you some muffins?
     
  2. TJandGENESIS

    TJandGENESIS Are We Having Fun Yet?

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    Hey gang...
    I loved the comment about the lighter foot, better MPG...

    I went out side on a wheelchair today! There is a world out there!

    I spoke to my surgeon, and it looks like Tuesday maybe I get out of here..with a bill the size of Texas. Where everything is bigger.

    I saw the foot today also. As in, without the toe. It's a bit odd looking. And they pulled out this long line of stuff that was in the toe area to take out the gunk. That was like watching a magician pulling a long line of scarves out of a small space.


    I also talked to the diabetic expert, who says based on my long term numbers, and diet, that I'm alright with my diet; so that means no script for insulin. I will take a pill for it. Not so bad. No needles for me.

    Wish me well.
     
  3. sulman

    sulman Introspectator

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    Pulse and glide, baby. Pulse and glide.

    That's good news about the pill.

    sul
     
  4. Neicy

    Neicy Member

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    Great to hear you're doing OK. And that's great that you don't need insulin. And the magician thing cracked me up because you're so right. Can you believe that much fits in there?
     
  5. galaxee

    galaxee mostly benevolent

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    glad to hear you're healing up, TJ! your health comes first, everything else later.

    good news about the diabetes being under enough control to just need a pill. keep up the diet that works and i'm sure you'll do just fine.

    continuing to send good thoughts your way. :)
     
  6. AuntBee

    AuntBee New Member

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    Awesome news! Thanks for the update. Keep up the good work. (Needles suck, but if it came down to it you could handle that too. But I'm glad you won't have to)
     
  7. Zap

    Zap New Member

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    TJ: Are you going to see a primary care doctor regularly (ie, at least once in followup after you see your orthopedist, and at least twice yearly after that or more often if the doc says so), and are you going to get regular glycohemoglobin and other routine diabetes tests done? (Eye exams, urinary microalbumin screens, creatinine levels, cholesterol levels, blood pressure checks?)

    I'm glad you appear to be getting through this one with only some monetary cost... but please, do establish with a doctor. Go to a community clinic if money is tight; their education was just as expensive as mine was, and they all know how to manage diabetes. Get the routine tests, and learn what they mean. Ask questions here if you don't understand something; lots of us can answer. But buy an ounce of prevention!

    (PS: metformin is on the cheap med list at Wal-Mart, you can probably get a pound of metformin tablets for four dollars there...)
     
  8. TJandGENESIS

    TJandGENESIS Are We Having Fun Yet?

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    No, not likely; don't trust/like doctors, and this experience just re-enforces it.

    What folks here don't get, is I don't want a prolonged sentence to this life; I am tired of this pain, tired of the cancer, just tired.

    With my bad luck, I will be here another 70 years, but I don't want to be here any longer then seven minutes...

    I have spent 43 years, mostly without a doctor, and I have lived too long as it is. Why would I want to do this any longer, since when I die, the pain dies?

    I'm not sad, or suicidal, just plain old done. I am pleased enough with most of my life, and there are things I regret, but for the most part? Done, I am.


    Now watch, you'll see; I'll be the cranky old preacher here forever now 'cause of what I said.

    It's hard to express on the internets, but really, no one knows when they can check out, so why do anything that may (or may not) add years to your life? You could all go to doctors, and do all of that, and for what? Some sort of false hope? Some sort of sense of that it's the right thing to do?

    Well, if that is what floats yer boat, more power to you, but for me, I have my self out $125,000 (and counting), on a house in Florida, a HUGE bill here, and a fixed income, (I don't get paid for preaching), so I don't need any more bills, and I make too much to qualify for any free programs; not that I would take them.

    They are for people far worse off then me.

    So in the long run, I am looking towards the end of the race, where I can join my toe, already in the afterlife....
     
  9. efusco

    efusco Moderator Emeritus
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    The answer to the "Why" is because the QUALITY of your remaining life, be it short or long, can be improved. Your ability to function in a positive way while you're alive can be improved. Your satisfaction with life can be improved.
    I won't go on as I don't expect to convince you and you must make your own choices, but when you take such a fatalistic view you're sure to achieve that fate.
     
  10. hyo silver

    hyo silver Awaaaaay

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    A lifetime of pain is more of an endurance test than really living. I sorta get that part. Still, kind of ironic, isn't it, a minister without a spirit? As for an afterlife, are you so sure you want to literally bet your life on your beliefs?
     
  11. Jeannie

    Jeannie Proud Prius Granny

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    OK - with the diabetes, you're risking further loss of extremities, which may or may not be tolerable, you're also risking blindness, and you're risking kidney damage/heart damage. Controlling your blood sugar with diet/exercise/medication, and self-testing to see if you're staying 'in control', can minimize the risk of all diabetes side-effects (and may lessen the neuropathy you already have - I don't know more about that, except that neuropathy can also be caused by cancer - a friend's mother could barely walk, and it turned out to be neuropathy caused by lung cancer).

    So I hope you'll consider taking care of your diabetes. Personally, the 'blindness' thingie is the one that scares me the most - the heart/kidney damage stuff is something that I'm unlikely to avoid in the long run, since I also have high blood pressure (which I control with meds). If I go blind, I can't conceive of being able to continue to live - I wouldn't be able to work, I wouldn't be able to take care of myself, etc.

    One of the other posters mentioned Metformin as a medication for diabetes that's available on Walmart's $4 co-pay plan. Since you don't have insurance, that obviously won't do you any good, but I looked up the price of 100 tablets of Metformin at the lowest dosage, which would cover you for just a bit over 3 months, through CVS, a large chain drugstore, and it costs $42 - that's pretty cheap. Figure that's 50 cents a day.

    A 'generic' blood glucose tester costs under $15 (and is often free), and the test strips cost around $50 for 100 strips (unless they're on sale for a lower price). It's recommended that you test 3 times a day (fasting, before dinner, 2 hours after dinner), but some people only test once a day (fasting). Testing 3 x day helps you learn more about how your body reacts to your diet - you'll see what foods cause your blood sugar to go up more and stay higher than other foods, etc.

    So meds and testing would cost you $1-$2 a day. Part of the purpose of the testing is to determine when you can get OFF the medication. Testing and logging your results might take another 5-10 minutes per day. For me, that's a pretty cheap price to pay to minimize my risk of blindness.

    So please, please, please take care of your diabetes, no matter how hopeless and bleak things look at the moment - once you go blind you can't go back!
     
  12. PriuStorm

    PriuStorm Senior Member

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    TJ, I have an extra glucose meter and 3 boxes of strips that I am not using that you're welcome to have for free... just PM me with address to send to. This will at least get you started. Also, check the BD site... often you can get equipment there for free (paying only for shipping)... that's how I got my updated meter and hence I have an extra one.
     
  13. Zap

    Zap New Member

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    I do not understand your choices, but then again, I don't have to.

    I don't believe you when you say you aren't depressed, but that may be because I cannot at all relate to your decision.

    I think it's stupid to commit suicide passively, which is essentially what you propose, if other events like this happen.

    I would wish you luck but like you, I don't believe in luck. ^_^
     
  14. Jeannie

    Jeannie Proud Prius Granny

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    Nice offer - I hope TJ takes you up on it!

    I don't know how much the BD test strips usually go for, but most of the brand-name meters usually have strips that average out somewhere in the $1/strip range, which is why I was recommending the 'generic' meter/strips that are available at most drugstores and supermarkets. But I'm not currently using my generic meter, since I got a 'free' Johson and Johnson meter, and was working temporarily at J&J, and was able to get the strips from an employee (employee purchase plan) at around $40 for a box of 100 strips. Since then, I've been buying my strips on e-bay for around $50/100 strips, about the same price as the generics. TJ may be able to find strips for the BD meter on e-Bay when he uses up the strips you're offering for free.
     
  15. TJandGENESIS

    TJandGENESIS Are We Having Fun Yet?

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    Well, since I don't believe in fate either...nor do I believe in 'calling on the universe', or God even, to change things, I don't believe in fate either. Things just happen you know? I mean, when my friend died on that plane that hit the Pentagon, on 9/11, he no more had a hand in that, then I do as to when I die.
    I am actually quite happy, and have a great life, despite the mounting stupid debt. It could be worse.

    But I am just done you know, with the desire to be here any longer then needed. If I am to stay, fine, that's swell and all, and I will do what I can to enjoy life here. Which is why I won't see the doctor anymore then I have to. Heck, the doctor I have, screwed up, and forgot to write down some orders, that he told me was to happen today, and now my departure is not as guaranteed for tomorrow as I he said. I will leave tomorrow, AMA, if he does not fix this, since all they are doing is feeding IV antibiotics via tube to me.

    And he already has prescribed that in pill form. And he prescribed some sort of 'cillian' ending type of pill, which I hope I am not allergic to, seeing as I am allergic to penicillin.

    My pain has been with me for twelve years, and even with the diabetic drugs, will be here for the rest of my life, so again, the sooner the better.

    I have in my time, talked with people, who are close to dying, and they are at peace with it. So I am. I am just 'shocking' some people, because I am so 'young', but at least I am prepared for it, just like I was when I thought the toe, or the foot, would be gone. Life for me is easier, and more peaceful, since I am ready for the worse, and if the best happens, that is also alright with me.

    Besides, I can't die just yet; my favorite nephew Justin is getting married this December. I have to see that.

    So I do have that to live for right?
     
  16. TJandGENESIS

    TJandGENESIS Are We Having Fun Yet?

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    'Zap', I am honored you have chosen my thread for your first two posts.

    I am so not depressed. PISSED at myself for mistakes made twenty plus years ago that put me here in this hospital bed today, maybe, but depressed? Not so much.

    And don't wish me anything, that you wouldn't want your self. After all, 'Zap', I wouldn't want you to be less then honest, now would I?
     
  17. TJandGENESIS

    TJandGENESIS Are We Having Fun Yet?

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    Don't need it, thanks. Wouldn't use it if you gave it to me. Already have two sitting at home, from when I first got diagnosed, that I never use. I think I should give them away.

    I won't be watching any numbers. No point. I will be on a pill. And frankly, with my boring but safe (and approved diet by the diabetic people), those numbers can't be any worse then the roller coaster ride that they have been here, with the approved food they have been giving me. And what a joke those numbers are! 263 in one finger, then 189 in another, at the same test time. And then just now, 132. I mean, give me a break.

    So thanks any way.
     
  18. burritos

    burritos Senior Member

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    My godfather when diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread below the diaphragm was given a choice between chemo and no treatment. Like in anything in medicine, chemo was not a guaranteed cure. Statistically it might have prolonged his life 2-3 years. However, this quality of life would have been diminished and he would no be able to play golf, his life's passion. So he opted no medical treatment, and played some of the best golf of his life for the last 6 months of his life. Near the end he played with his two best friends(my dad and uncle). In his last game he used a golf cart for the first time in his life(because he unknowingly had clots in his legs and fluid building up in the affected lung). He still outplayed both of them. 2 weeks later he had passed, no regrets.
     
  19. Loveit

    Loveit New Member

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    TJ, why are you "punishing" yourself by delaying treatment? Do you know that many people do care about and even love you?

    TJ, I pray that you will get the treatment to save your limb.

    I just want you to know that I have not been on the boards for a long time. Spouse was diagnosed with bile duct cancer and underwent "The Whipple" along with radiation and chemo last June. Said spouse's CAT scan came back clean 2 months ago. We are looking at another scan to be done soon in 2 months from now.

    Also, how is your wife doing? I can't begin to imagine how she feels.

    I will keep you and those nearest and dearest to you in prayer, TJ.

    loveit
     
  20. TJandGENESIS

    TJandGENESIS Are We Having Fun Yet?

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    My wife? She is like myself; no desire to wait any longer then needed. She understands. My limb, as in my foot? It will be fine. Or it won't. But either way, I am fine with it.