Cat Malfunction

Your cat will now condition you to blame her for it's bad behavior. LOL!

 

Sounds to me like the cat's functioning within normal parameters.
If you'd rather not have 'offerings' in the house, you might try picking them up, along with the cat, and putting them both outside. UNlearning things is usually harder than learning them, even for cats, but eventually he'll probably figure it out. A 'no mousies allowed' sign isn't likely to be very effective.

 

adult rats have pretty impressive hind leg power.

 

That bowl won't be big enough. It would have to have really tall sides. Average large bowl you'd have in your kitchen won't be big enough.

I suggest you give your girlfriend a choice....catching rat in her food bowl or catching rat with a snap trap. My money is she'll forbid you to use the bowl and opt for the trap even if it means a dead rat. I suggest you stop on the way home for trap and pepperoni in case that is the option she chooses.

 

If you've got a rat, even if it is a juvenile, it will be smarter and more wary than the average mouse.

Buy a lot of traps. Bait them WITHOUT setting them to get the rat used to taking the bait. Then after a few days set them. Put them around the perimeters of cabinets and walls. They like to hug the walls. Put the bait end close to the wall. Set them about three inches apart. Use gloves when handling the traps so they don't have a human smell. When you catch the rat, use gloves to put in plastic bag to dispose of. You don't want their parasites tranferring to you. Sprinkle oatmeal around the traps to make them more enticing. (Norway rats like meat, roof rats prefer fruits and nuts) If they're nesting you can also put some cotton on the trap for bait.

If you opt to use a humane trap and catch the rat, you'll have to release it at least five miles away.

All this is from my book "Tiny Game Hunting"

Ooo. Here's something from 1879.

You put water in a barrel and cover the top with paper. You bait the paper for a couple of days, until the rat gets used to it. Then you cut a cross slit on the top and when the rat goes for his bait, he falls in the barrel of water. If you want some real entertainment, you put a rock in the barrel big enough just for one rat. The first one in gets the rock. Subsequent victims then fight it out to see who gets the rock. This is said to draw more rats to get caught.

BTW if you have ivy, get rid of it. They're living in there.

 

OOps. You're in California. It's illegal to release the rat. So no humane for you. Snap trap.

If you've already touched it, try scrubbing with soapy water, dipping them in boiling water then coating them with vegetable oil or going outside and rubbing it in the dirt to get rid of your smell. If you do the dirt thing, oil it first so it doesn't get rusty.

You can always order a pizza and then pick a few pepperonis off for Micky.

 

California doesn' say you *have* to kill it. Just that you can't release it. So if you catch it, it's a new "pet". Do you really want the vet bills? And to take the time to "tame" it? The extra expense of feeding it and protecting it from the serial killer?

Okay. A few days unbaited. Then the big "surprise".

Just don't start referring to it by name or your GF will never let you kill it.

 

You can go to a restaurant supply store (Like Smart n Final) and buy the biggest metal bowl they have. It should look almost like a domed trash can lid it should be so big. Really, really big metal salad bowl. Then grease it and do the ruler and peanut butter trick. But her tupperware bowl is too small. And you should use either metal or ceramic, not plastic. Plastic allows the rat's little claws too much purchase. Even greased.

It's that or you do the traps and take your chances.

Don't do the glue traps. They aren't effective with rats, only mice. And aren't very humane. There is a trap that electrocutes them, but I imagine it's pricey. I feel the snap trap is the most humane as it is very quick.

 

I feel obliged to start this by saying that I like cats, I really do.

I have three of them.

My feline leanings aside, it took me several minutes to pick myself up off the floor, where I fell laughing my head off while reading this.

You see the problem is that you used words like "feline" in combination with other words like "deviant behavior", "a real head case", and "serial killer" expecting that these somehow describe abnormal behavior for a cat.

This reminds me of that bit from "A Cat's Diary" that goes something along the lines of "I've tried to intimidate my captors by leaving the mangled bodies of my victims laying around. However, instead of being intimidated, they seem oddly pleased, making little baby sounds at me and speaking in Mole...."

Seriously, the solution to your issue with the mouse/rat is really going to depend on how big it is. They do make "no kill" traps for mice (these consist of plastic boxes with holes in them that have spring loaded one-way doors in them.) They do work, but they are size limiting (meaning if the mouse/rat can't get in the door, it can't get in the trap.) Otherwise, you'd have to get a smallish box trap.

If all else fails, you could call a trapper.

With respect to communicating with your cat. Hmmm, uhm, good luck with that. This is a little different from teach the cat not to claw the furniture.

This also seems a little different than the whole business of bringing home "presents". In fact it almost sounds like she's trying to teach you to hunt. Feline hunting lessons usually go along the lines of: the mother brings home dead prey and eats it in front of the kittens; this progresses into the kittens playing with and eventually eating the prey; the next step is for the mother bring home live prey and let the kittens learn to kill it.

It sort of seems like you've progressed to the third stage. I don't have any good ideas on how you're going to convince your cat that you've learned and can now "take care of yourself". This is going to be a good one.

 

LOL... i feel the same way!

though this story does make me somewhat grateful that our two goons are a couple of lazy bastards who can't be bothered to get off their respective favorite sleeping spots unless it's 4am and they need to knock something over and make a loud noise (or try to kill each other, achieving the same noise level) to wake me up.

 

Ah, yes, the old "make alot of noise when they're sleeping" ploy; it almost never fails to annoy.

The favorite around here is to sit/stand at the top of the stairs (where the acoustics are good) and then screaming your head off. Of course this all sounds much better if it's done in the wee hours of the morning.

I too am very glad that my pride is satisfied with hunting the food bowl and/or each other. This mouse hunting thing is going to be an interesting nut to crack.

 

So. Have you named it yet? Do you have a habitat set up for it?

A nice sized aquarium with a screened top works well. Be sure you weigh it down with a rock. You can make a nice rat house out of an empty Kleenex box. Leave some paper towels and Kleenex for him to shred for bedding. Cedar shavings for the bottom. A water bottle for drinking. They can eat Purina Rabbit chow or guinea pig/hamster chow. You can suppliment with some fruits (apples) and vegetables (carrots) and even an occasional piece of steak.

He can't live in that coffee can forever.

Why don't you show cat you've caught the rat so she knows you've learned your lesson and don't need any more practice. (You can even bite the head off if you feel she really needs a demonstration....but I wouldn't recommend it.)

 

Keep the cat indoors, possibly? A declawed cat really shouldn't be allowed outside as it can't defend itself if it were to get into a fight or were to be attacked.