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Most Boring Thread

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by markderail, Jul 14, 2008.

  1. moxiequz

    moxiequz Weirdo Social Outcast

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    All this discussion of toilet paper has bored me.

    So good job everyone! Mission Accomplished!
     
  2. eclectcmoi

    eclectcmoi Muffinologist

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    I washed my kitchen trash can out over the weekend.
     
  3. wchardin

    wchardin Senior Member

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    I recently finished my power washing for the day, and cut my foot because I power wash in sandals.
     
  4. Fraser

    Fraser New Member

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    Instead of washing your sandals, why not wear Crocs? They can be washed anytime and they probably won't be damaged by the power spray. I wear Crocs as house slippers and stubbing my toe during dark-house forays has become less of a problem.
     
  5. samiam

    samiam Antipodean Prius Poster

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    I maintain a croc-free zone around me as best I can.

    I want to discuss toilet paper some more. I've been giving it a lot of thought and I am really bothered by something. The discussion has centered on whether the roll unrolls from the top or bottom and I haven't been able to understand how a roll can unroll from the bottom. I've looked at many rolls in public loos and conducted some carefully controlled experiments at home and I can''t reproduce the results associated with the bottom-rolling correspondents posting here. Doesn't gravity require a roll to unroll from the top? Or does gravity work in reverse in the Northern Hemisphere now?
    Surely the issue is between unrolling from the front versus unrolling from the back. I suggest we now discuss the appropriate nomenclature for these two different toilet roll installation options and in the first instance have suggested a front-to back dichotomy as opposed to the more obvious front to rear terminology because of the unfortunate associations with the terminal word of that nomenclature. Just a suggestion though, but I do I think it would get pretty boring pretty quickly. And isn't that what we are all really disinterested in?
     
  6. Fraser

    Fraser New Member

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    Front to back works. But what do we do on the rare occasions in which the rolls are vertically ensconced?
     
  7. samiam

    samiam Antipodean Prius Poster

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    It would appear there are at least two distinct alternatives for adding an adjectival term to address vertical ensconcment situations. Left- vs right-handedness would be the first of these alternatives, however it may be that rolls with a leading edge coming from the right of the visual field might actually be more effective for left-handed users, with the opposite situation being a left leading edge preference for right-handed users. The possibility of such a handedness-effectiveness paradox could render the terminology unsuitable (quite aside from the inappropriateness of the slang terminology "cack-handed" in this sphere of reference). The second terminology would be to refer to the vertical ensconcement emplacement options as "clockwise" versus "anti-clockwise". This would appear to avoid confusion in most cases, unless one is actually prone on the floor of lavatory looking upwards at the vertically ensconced roll, a situation that, while infrequent, is known to occur among certain segments of the toilet paper using population. There is the added problem of another segment of the population having been raised with digital clocks and watches who may be unfamiliar with the "clockwise" terminology. Cyclonic and anti-cyclonic would appeal to the meteorologically inclined, but absolutely no-one else (and every one has learned to disregard the opinions of meteorologists anyway).

    We may have to do some carefully controlled experimentation to determine whether a handedness-effectiveness paradox does exist, and this of course, would require some time to prepare a suitable funding application to be submitted to one or more granting institutions. If our need is urgent, as is often is in the case of references to toilet paper, we may not have time to spare.

    Other suggestions?
     
  8. dwreed3rd

    dwreed3rd New Member

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  9. Boo

    Boo Boola Boola Member

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    Yale University had the best and most ingenious toilet paper dispenser I've ever seen.

    Instead of having a round rod that inserted loosely into the toilet paper roll's hollow tube, it had a rod that was oval shaped like a car muffler and that inserted snugly into the roll's hollow tube.

    The most ingenious part was that one half of the oval was weighted so that it would come to a soft stop if you stopped pulling on the toilet paper roll -- no more free, uncontrolled spinning and unrolling of the toilet paper roll until the toilet paper ends up on the floor.

    Also, the rod/holder was not the usual pressure rod. Instead, it was a stiff rod that had one end that attached to the bracket on a verticle pivot, while the other end was slid through a U-shaped slot that had open and closed ends. To remove the toilet paper roll, you slid the end through the slot so that it swung out of the open end of the U, while the other end of the rod on the verticle pivot stayed on the bracket. This made it the easiest dispenser to change toilet paper rolls.

    Finally, the dispenser was deep enough to accomodate these 2000 sheet, commercial rolls that Scot makes. One roll like that might last a month or two in most home bathrooms.

    As enamored as I was of these toilet paper dispensers and 2000 sheet rolls, I took one of those dispensers and put it in my NYC apartment which I had kept while I attended Yale. And then once every couple of months I'd take one of those 2000 sheet rolls.

    I unintentionally left that toilet paper dispenser behind when I moved from that apartment. I'll have to get another one.
     
  10. Fraser

    Fraser New Member

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    Which direction -- cyclonic or anti-cyclonic -- would be appropriate based on the location of the vertical dispenser -- left side, right side or in front -- to the convenience?
     
  11. markderail

    markderail I do 45 mins @ 3200 PSI

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    Right side, cyclonic
     
  12. Rae Vynn

    Rae Vynn Artist In Residence

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    It was nice on the cruise ship... I never once had to worry about changing the TP roll.
    Or anything else, for that matter. Well, except clothes. I changed clothes about three times a day!
     
  13. taggart

    taggart Member

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    This is the most boring thread I've ever.........oh, sorry.
     
  14. markderail

    markderail I do 45 mins @ 3200 PSI

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    Rae Vynn has been just a few days from an Alaskan cruise for many months now.
    The little sailboat is boring to look at since it has never moved.
     
  15. samiam

    samiam Antipodean Prius Poster

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    No, its been moving, veeery slowly. I've been sitting here watching it the whole time
    (while thinking about toilet paper rolls).
     
  16. wchardin

    wchardin Senior Member

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    After 33 days, what will Rae Vynn count down to next?
     
  17. Boo

    Boo Boola Boola Member

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    She could count down the number of sheets in a toilet paper roll. Like an audit.
     
  18. Boo

    Boo Boola Boola Member

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    I stepped on some dog poop last night.
     
  19. taggart

    taggart Member

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    I used to step in my dog's poop once in a while. Quite annoying. She passed away a few months ago. Now I'd give anything to step in her poop again. I miss her terribly.
     
  20. wchardin

    wchardin Senior Member

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    When I was in elementary school I was on a swing and a bird pooped on my head. I remember it like it were yesterday.