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Chrysler Raises the Ante in the Incentive Battle

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by Arroyo, Apr 1, 2009.

  1. Arroyo

    Arroyo Member

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    CHRYSLER RAISES THE ANTE IN THE INCENTIVE BATTLE

    04/01/09––The marketing wars are heating up, and today unprecedented salvos are being hurled to attract customers.

    In January, Hyundai launched a program called “Hyundai Assurance.†It allows customers to return a newly bought vehicle if they lose their job. No questions asked. No ding to your credit score.

    While industry sales have plunged this year, sales of the Korean automaker have risen.

    Then Ford came out with its “Ford Advantage Plan,†which launches today. If you buy a new Ford and lose your job, Ford will cover 12 months of payments.

    Not to be outdone, General Motors responded with “GM Total Confidence,†which also kicks off today. That program provides its own form of unemployment insurance that covers up to nine vehicle payments if you become unemployed.

    Topping all of these programs, however, is Chrysler’s offer, “We’ll pay you to buy our car.â€

    It includes $5,000 cash back on every vehicle Chrysler makes plus $100 per week in groceries for up to two years if the buyer loses his or her job.

    “We wanted to stand tall and show America that Chrysler will do whatever it takes to prove it’s a viable and competitive company,†said Bob Nardelli, Chrysler’s CEO.

    “There’s never been a better time to be unemployed, and never a better time to be unemployed in a new Chrysler, Dodge or Jeep.â€

    In announcing the Chrysler program, Nardelli explained he understands what it’s like to be without a job.

    “I was unemployed after leaving General Electric, and I went out and bought a new car.

    “Then after leaving my next job, at Home Depot, I was unemployed before joining Chrysler,†he explained. “Again, I managed to get some new wheels – and this was without any special incentive program.â€

    Nardelli said driving a new car or truck can increase job security and actually help land a new job.

    In other incentive news, Mitsubishi Motors reportedly is in discussions with televangelist Benny Hinn to develop a marketing program supposedly richer than Chrysler’s.

    A spokesman for Benny Hinn Ministries would neither confirm nor deny rumors about a tie-in with Mitsubishi except to say, “As adherents of Prosperity Gospel, we believe the more you give, the more you get. In this world as well as the next, anything is possible.â€

    http://lacar.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=1055#bsd2]http://lacar.com/modules.php?n...#bsd2

    [​IMG]
    "We'll pay you to buy our car."
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. shtinkypuppie

    shtinkypuppie Junior Member

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    “There’s never been a better time to be unemployed, and never a better time to be unemployed in a new Chrysler, Dodge or Jeep.”

    This has got to be the most absurd statement in advertising history.
     
  3. patsparks

    patsparks An Aussie perspective

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    I know what it's like for the average Joe to be unemployed, I was unemployed once so I took some of my 7 digit severance pay and bought a new car, I knew I would be doing it tough but I had another job lined up anyway. God it was tough, I missed out on a months wages and had to make it through on my payout. Worst 30 days of my life but I had a new Chrysler that no one else wanted.
     
  4. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    Look at your calendar.
     
  5. dogfriend

    dogfriend Human - Animal Hybrid

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    Your first clue that it's an April Fool joke is the phrase "GM Total Confidence". :madgrin:
     
  6. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    I woke up to another blizzard this morning.

    :smow:

    True, folks in ND and northern MN got it much worse.

    I looked out the window at the thick, fat snowflakes gushing down, and thought to myself "well, April F Bomb Fools!"
     
  7. amm0bob

    amm0bob Permanently Junior...

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    :party::bounce::party:
     
  8. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    Yep. Sorry to hear that. But I'm sure glad I got out when I did. I was never constructed for cold.
     
  9. a priori

    a priori Canonus Curiosus

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    Good on you, Mate! And make certain you don't let anyone else have that wonderful car unless you also give them $5,000 cash in the bargain.
     
  10. PriusSport

    PriusSport senior member

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    Nardelli bought a new car with his severance pay. He had a few million left over.
    What a bunch of junk. No salesman there.
     
  11. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    Oh it wasn't cold, never got below 28 F. Just miserable wet heavy snow that instantly clogged up my poor snowblower.

    The folks in the Dakota's and northern MN got it far worse though
     
  12. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    Wet, heavy snow. Yuk! I still say I'm glad I got out.
     
  13. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    After spending most of the day shoveling heavy wet snow - which is just like shoveling heavy wet concrete - I'd have to agree. My thick muscular neck was pulsating in a very alarming manner
     
  14. Arroyo

    Arroyo Member

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    I like this one from Danny:

    Toyota to co-produce Volt with GM - Renamed the Jolt

    Submitted by Danny on April 1, 2009 - 4:37am.

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    The Chevy Volt will have a new name and a new manufacturer when it goes on sale in November 2010 - the Toyota Jolt. According to sources within Toyota and GM, the decision was made after President Obama's auto task force deemed the Volt to be too little, too late and too expensive to save General Motors. To save on production costs for both companies, the re-badged Toyota Jolt will be manufactured at the NUMMI plant in Fremont, California. NUMMI is the same plant where the GM/Toyota co-produced Toyota Matrix/Pontiac Vibe is made.

    Toyota has plans to "make it their own", as they say on American Idol. The Japanese automaker hopes to upgrade the current Volt platform from the planned 1.4-liter engine to the new 1.8L going in the 2010 Prius, along with adding the Solar Roof available in the new Prius. Toyota hopes the Solar Roof will create enough energy to charge the Jolt's battery pack and enhance EV range from the Volt's 40-mile range to 80 miles in the Jolt.

    During today's press conference, GM's new CEO Fritz Henderson said, "We are excited about this new partnership with Toyota to produce the Jolt. President Obama has given us 60 days to turn this company around, and, unfortunately, there was no way we could continue to spend billions on the Volt project. Toyota, as the worldwide sales leader, has the resources needed to complete this car and put it in the market."

    Toyota's take? Toyota USA President Jim Lentz told PriusChat that "we are pleased to be partnering with GM on the Toyota Jolt project. Toyota and GM have a long history of beautifully designed co-produced cars such as the mid-80s Corolla, Chevy Nova, and Geo Prizm. Just as those cars redefined the automotive industry, so will the Toyota Jolt. We are going to give the car industry and this economy the 'Jolt' it needs!"

    And so what does the king of Chevy Volt, Bob Lutz, have to say about this new partnership? "I've been the biggest Volt supporter since the beginning, you all know that. But, as the government auto task force was adding up the numbers, it quickly became obvious that the Volt was going to be a really expensive car for what we were going to be able to offer. As soon as we realized how much the Volt was going to cost and that we would not be able to offer an immediate $8,000 'Friends and Family' discount on the car, we knew the Volt would never make it out the door."

    Toyota still plans on having the Jolt in select cities' dealerships by November 2010.

    We'll keep you updated on this story as we receive more information in the coming days.
     
  15. dbermanmd

    dbermanmd New Member

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    and using our tax dollars to do so :welcome:
     
  16. markderail

    markderail I do 45 mins @ 3200 PSI

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    One of my FAV April 1st fake news column.
    Thanks for posting it, Arroyo
     
  17. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    Oh what the hell .... plenty more where that came from. That's what printing presses are for!
     
  18. dogfriend

    dogfriend Human - Animal Hybrid

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    We have to pay additional taxes for April Fools jokes now? :madgrin:
     
  19. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    Sure you do. Now ... don't tell me that you didn't very carefully read that in the fine print for this years form. Oh boy ....