MRI story

Yes, overall it's a GOOD thing to have an engineer be cynical and pessimistic

 

Where do you think "F.U.B.A.R." AND S.N.A.F.U. came from!!!

 

Sure, you could get them in the MRI, but wouldn't it be tough to get them back out again? Would there be a suction force at the closed end of the tube?

 

That would scare the crap out of anyone: You are waiting in the lobby and suddenly a greased fat person comes crashing through the doors directly at you. They should show the reaction on You Tube. :madgrin:

 

OK, I have a true story that is close enough. On the sub, a particularly overlarge junior torpedoman was given the job of cleaning the torpedo room bilge. This required him to squeeze down between the piping to get the job done. One completed, it became very clear that he was not coming back up. He was a human check valve. All the excess weight shifted up to let him down, but on the way back up, the same excess weight only expanded his girth coming up.

This was pondered for quite a while, till the Division Chief stated he had the answer and left the torpedo room. He returned with a fishing rod and a doughnut tied to the end and stated "We will fish him out". (Submariners heal wounds by rubbing salt into them.)

Eventually, the only solution was to have him strip completely, grease him in Crisco (no kidding), and get the whole crew pushing every part up. Not a fun evolution for all involved, but better than the alternative.

 

Proof of alien abduction theory...

They can't...

It wasn't a nail... it was a metallic recorder used to transmit whatever he smelled to the mothership... it is one of the only ways that our alien overlords can determine when it will be the right time to invade.


I'm surprised there isn't someone (obviously it would have to be an alien drone) trying hard to cover this thing up and bury it entirely...

 

Re: Proof of alien abduction theory...

That's why it took 30 years for it to come out the other end.

 

Re: Proof of alien abduction theory...

Yes...

I believe you are right... it was probably inserted in the usual manner... during the alien abduction examination and all...


Kinda like that fella that was a lumberjack that was abducted and returned later...

Except... he was naked... and he remembered how he was examined...

Maybe it was a different alien mothership.

 

Re: Proof of alien abduction theory...

That was probably a consensual human-alien relationship. Though he probably didn't understand some of the more alien (HA!) courtship rituals, which is why it didn't work out

Once you go Alien, you don't go back ...

 

Re: Proof of alien abduction theory...

Soooo... like the lumberjack dude was dumped then Huh...


Maybe this fella was too when he was a younger fella, and he is just in denial.

 

FFT's, linear approximations ... it's all good. That is, all exciting and hair raising (Not that I know what *that* feels like anymore...).

Good programming job. They even knew how to handle the hot restart groups

The only wrinkle - smirk snicker - with that plan would be the obvious kinky folks lined up down the block, just waiting to get their "special" MRI.

You wouldn't even need a real, expensive MRI machine. Just a facsimile, as long as you had the tub of Crisco

Yeah poor fellow, I *really* feel sorry for you

Yep, that is a neat science experiment. You could also use that parlor trick to scare zealot religious folks. "OOoooooohhh run! The Evil Spirits are about to emerge from the dastardly machine! Run!"

Actually, that would be a damn good prank. Just make sure the victim has one of those hockey goalie masks on to deflect the coin from the soft tissues of his face

Admit it, you *really* get off on that stuff, don't you? It's like when I receive my latest issue of Defense Electronics and I giggle and prance around like a little school girl

 

I'm pretty sure I saw a really *bad* porn movie - back in the early 80's - with a plot just like that. It was SOOOOOOOO bad it was funny, even the parts that were supposed to be kinky

 

Oh bunny, that is priceless

If the techs had a sense of humor, while running with the flaming, smoking amp through the waiting room, they could have yelled out

"Run! It's gonna blow!! Run for your lives!!"

But seriously, have you ever managed to innocently make a piece of equipment burst into flames? I was testing a stationary radar system that had older AN/FPS-19, which was made by Raytheon. Quite the impressive vacuum tube gadget

When I was working on it, that was the transition to the GE AN/FPS-117, a solid state system. The -19 was already pretty old when I got to it, at least as old as I was, maybe a few years older.

I hadn't realized that the reason why it was acting up was due to rodents. Mice had gotten into the structure, and every time a mousey managed to make contact, it was instantly cooked, caused a glitch, then once the short cleared, it started working again. A nice intermittent glitch

So with a few of my team members, I had the brilliant idea of just cranking it right up to either clear the fault, or make the borderline component finally quit. I wasn't looking forward to going out there and cleaning waveguides

So the instant I cranked everything up, peak power around 140 KW which made the onsite generator struggle, my team dropped a large heavy box BOOM. This startled the mice in their warm nest, they scurried out across all the magnetron support equipment, and

KABOOOM!!!

Like the 4th of July inside there. Heavy smoke from the cooked magnetron, power supply racks, etc, filled the entire room. It also smelled of burnt fur and cooked meat

From that day on, I had the nickname "Puff, the magic dragon"

 

I hesitate to ask:

What did the cover of that VHS tape look like?

 

If I remember correctly, the cover had a guy with typical early 80's do, with a *very* serious look on his face. Not one of the known porn guys. The lady had this look of surprise, and her hand across her mouth, as if gasping in surprise

Even the cover art made me giggle