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Dogfriend: My cat doesn't just love me, she wants to make love to me

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by Dave_PH, May 21, 2009.

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  1. Dave_PH

    Dave_PH New Member

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    I know you said it was wrong but she wants it. Seriously. She's asking for it, loudly. She's in heat.

    I thought she was just being affectionate but it turns out I'm the object of her amorous advances. That scar the vet found must not have been a spay scar or else they miseed an aptly named 'horn'.

    She's such a sweet and pretty kitty but I won't give in.

    OhOh, she's mewing at me again and approaching. I'll try to limit it to just heavy petting.
     
    #1 Dave_PH, May 21, 2009
  2. bevspark

    bevspark Toyota, Major Sponsors of The

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    Too much information :censored:
     
    #2 bevspark, May 21, 2009
  3. patsparks

    patsparks An Aussie perspective

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    Dave, you're a sick sick man.
     
    #3 patsparks, May 21, 2009
  4. eagle33199

    eagle33199 Platinum Member

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    That's just wrong
     
    #4 eagle33199, May 21, 2009
  5. slickQUICKprius

    slickQUICKprius I'm awesome!

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    Is this a bad joke? Keep that stuff to yourself
     
    #5 slickQUICKprius, May 21, 2009
  6. qbee42

    qbee42 My other car is a boat

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    We know she is consenting, but is she an adult cat?

    Tom
     
    #6 qbee42, May 21, 2009
  7. dogfriend

    dogfriend Human - Animal Hybrid

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    Is that what you are going to tell the people from PETA? That your cat was just asking for it?

    Its just wrong, no matter how you want to rationalize it. :madgrin:
     
    #7 dogfriend, May 21, 2009
  8. moxiequz

    moxiequz Weirdo Social Outcast

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    Oh man. First sheep, then goats and now this. :blink:
     
    #8 moxiequz, May 21, 2009
  9. Dave_PH

    Dave_PH New Member

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    I resisted but she's now in a serious relationship with the chair in my home office.
     
    #9 Dave_PH, May 21, 2009
  10. dogfriend

    dogfriend Human - Animal Hybrid

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    She just loves that chair, doesn't she?
     
    #10 dogfriend, May 21, 2009
  11. Dave_PH

    Dave_PH New Member

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    I've been sexually assaulted by my cat. Twice!!

    I've seen puppies hump a persons leg and now I know what a female cat's equivelent is. At first I thought she was just having a problem balancing on my leg while I was lying down, that was at first. She started on my thigh and worked her way down, I think she really enjoyed my kneecap. Let's just say I've never heard such a deep contented purr from her as she had by the time she reached my ankle. Then she just moved over and went to sleep. No cuddling or anything. I feel so used. If feel so dirty. Well I don't, but the comforter that was over my legs does. This was at midnight when I went to bed.

    She woke me up at 6:00AM this moring with some meow purrs and worked her way up and then down my other comforter covered leg. I'm surprised she didn't ask for a cigarette when she was done.

    Where's PETH when you need them? I'm afraid to go home tonight.
     
    #11 Dave_PH, May 22, 2009
  12. dogfriend

    dogfriend Human - Animal Hybrid

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    Just say no.
     
    #12 dogfriend, May 22, 2009
  13. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    :eek:

    I'm gone a week, and sign in to THIS going on??? I need a drink

    I think you had better confirm with the vet that kitty was fixed up. My two cats are males and they've NEVER done anything like that
     
    #13 jayman, May 22, 2009
  14. SPEEDEAMON

    SPEEDEAMON Professional Car Nut

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    Perhaps, get her a male and let her have at it. If you are not Catholic, I suggest you use kitty condoms if there is such a thing or use the just-in-time withdrawal method.

    Thank God, our 3 girls are fixed.
     
    #14 SPEEDEAMON, May 22, 2009
  15. Dave_PH

    Dave_PH New Member

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    That's the problem. She was theoretically fixed. My Vet thinks the vet who did it left behind some tissue and she's still going into heat but can't have kittens. She may have a nasty operation ahead of her that has to be done while she's in heat using a large incision so the vet can find the inflamatory tissue.

    Till then kitty is gonna really love me in a way that may not be socially acceptable but is still at least legal in Florida.
     
    #15 Dave_PH, May 22, 2009
  16. darelldd

    darelldd Prius is our Gas Guzzler

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    Appears to be broken again.
     
    #16 darelldd, May 22, 2009
  17. Dipena

    Dipena Senior Member

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    I'm sorry Dave, but you have to be the mature and responsible party here and let her know that no means no.

    And I guess you'll have to get her re-fixed. That's some expensive 'kitty' you've got there.
     
    #17 Dipena, May 22, 2009
  18. hobbit

    hobbit Senior Member

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    You're going to need more duct tape than for the gerbil.
    .
    _H*
     
    #18 hobbit, May 22, 2009
  19. Dave_PH

    Dave_PH New Member

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    I'm building a new wing on the cat hospital.

    "no means no",,,,you haven't heard her yowl.
     
    #19 Dave_PH, May 22, 2009
  20. Dave_PH

    Dave_PH New Member

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    Here's a pic of the buddy I'm planning to adopt for her. It's on hold for now. He's fixed.

    [​IMG]
     
    #20 Dave_PH, May 22, 2009
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