Ever Been Homeless?

I personally have never been homeless but came close a few times before I enlisted. I had moved out at 18, and discovered a crap job college tuition at a crap vo-tech and high rent really sucked. Just before I turned 20 I enlisted, and didn't have to worry about rent and food anymore

One of my better friends was homeless for about half a year, he crashed with me for about 2 weeks. His wife had been killed in a car crash and he fell into a major depression, quit his job, got behind on rent, and was evicted

He eventually ended up sleeping in his car, then when we found out how low he was dragging himself, our small circle of Army buddies took turns making sure he didn't starve, or go completely crazy. It was a pretty sad situation

After about 6 months he learned to move on with life, and slowly started to function again. That is, he got a job, started living again. But, after almost 16 years, he still isn't what I would consider "healed." He still falls into a depression on the "anniversary" date of his wife's death

Other folks I've known to be homeless, it was entirely their fault. Eg, no thought for the future, spending money in insane ways. Folks have to realize they are entirely ON THEIR OWN in life, there is no magic entity waiting to help once you f*** up

Or, folks with a chemical dependancy. To me, that's a form of suicide. Nobody points a gun to your head and makes you use that s***.

But in the case of my friend who suffered a horrible tragedy, something neither he or his wife deserved, he went from being a smart, witty, warm person you liked being around, to an empty, withdrawn shell. Sometimes life just plain s***s on you, for no apparent rhyme or reason

So in case anybody on PriusChat thought I was a cold, mean, heartless SOB with a devious "hurray for me f*** you" attitude, I actually do have feelings and concern for others

With that, I'll step off the soapbox and let somebody else step up

 

Jayman, a good story for us all. Sometimes we just have to keep on. You may never know how much difference you made to that friend - probably the difference between his still being here and not.

I've been laid off multiple times but have never been homeless. I'm the type who would probably turn to crime rather than not have a heated and airconditioned home . Luckily I have a lot of drive and tend to find something better eventually in the way of a job and just keep on moving forward. Right now I will be starting my PhD soon, and will finish before my 61st birthday, in time to "retire" (read: teaching and consulting). Always forward...

That said, when my second marriage collapsed I was much like your friend, but didn't quite sink to that level, so I can certainly relate. This might sound cruel, but it would have been easier for me to get over had she died than we had split up, since I still had to deal with her for our daughter (and I'm in no way saying I wish she had, or would). Luckily I'm over it and moved on, and married again. My wife made getting through my mom's death last week a lot easier. It really does take a village (or at least some close friends)...

 

I'm sorry about the loss of your mother Lewis.


I was homeless once.


I grew up with drug addicts and a very sick grandmother for the majority of my young life. My mother died when I was in 6th grade and my grandmother died a few years later. I went to live with a family friend who was married and in her 20s at the time. After some years they had a terrible fallout and my guardian mom moved into an apartment and just couldn't handle a teenager so I was kicked out. Thankfully I had a vehicle but without a job I couldn't afford fuel so the Jeep stayed parked at a friend's house. I quit going to my home studies class and was kicked out of school.

Because I couldn't afford fuel I rode my skateboard everywhere and found that the cardboard dumpsters at the Jelly Belly factory were quite warm and comfortable AND they always toss out the jelly bean rejects at night so if you time it right you can make away with a box of jelly beans. During that time I was able to find food through handouts from friends when I would visit them at school or even a bit of regular dumpster diving but I was pretty selective about what I ate. Eventually I started staying with a friend whose mom found out I was living in a dumpster. I was in the dumpster/back of my Jeep for about 3 weeks then stayed with my friend and his family for 2 more months before things were set straight at my house. I was not given the option to return to home studies and I did not want to go to the local continuation school as a minority white due to all the gang related BS going on there so I dropped out and started working and the rest, as they say, is history.

I could not really compare my situation to that of a true homeless person. Being 16 I had options but pride kept my from exploring those options. The older you get the few those options are.

 

Thanks for the thoughts!

When we're young it's sometimes hard to tell homeless from "hanging out." I had friends who were "homeless" in that they lived with friends, mostly to get out of their own homes. Luckily this is the easiest time in our lives to move on. You were lucky, considering your home life. We're all glad you moved forward and post us great nature pics!

 

Do you count roadtripping, when one is far away from the real
home and sleeping in a Prius?
.
_H*

 

It was a very bad time for him. His wife had been in his life since he was a kid, they were neighbors and grew up together. All through high school they transitioned from best of friends, to more than friends.

They got married when they turned 18, and even when he enlisted, he never had to worry about what she would be doing back home. Once he got out they had planned to start a family. Some dumbass blew a stopsign, t-boned her on the driver side, instantly killing her.

So to say he was devastated is saying it mildly. He truly did lose the will to keep living, he even stopped eating for awhile. Once a person goes down that dark path, there is little hope

Although he is much better now, as about 16 years have passed, he is absolutely not back to the way he used to be. Even with the professional help he has received, I doubt he will ever be more than a shadow of who he was

 

Only if you stop taking showers

 

No, that's called camping. Camping is a form of voluntary homelessness.

 

Most homelessness has been due to mental illness and substance abuse, until this current economic clusterf*** happened.

I have not been homeless, but my sister's ex-husband has been. Mind you, they were living a comfortable middle class life in La Jolla (very affluent town), California. My BIL was hard-working and a deacon in his church, etc. No one saw this coming. He now has a dual diagnosis of mental illness and alcoholism (mental illness and substance abuse often go hand in hand, and in this case no one really knows what came first). He and my sister were evicted from the home they rented. They divorced and he has since had a couple of bouts of homelessness. He's living in a group home right now.

Fortunately my sister managed to keep things together and she and the kids are doing OK--she had to start over at age 50 after 25 years of being a stay at home mom. We grew up very comfortably, and it is hard to watch her go through this. Especially difficult to see their kids trying to cope with their lives all but falling apart. However, she has a safety net of family and friends who would make sure that she would not fall into homelessness, and not everyone does. Her ex-husband, for example--his parents are dead and his only sibling has alcohol and drug problems of her own and was not able to help him out.

It is really scary to see how easily everything fell apart for them. I was never particularly judgmental toward the homeless anyway but this experience has made it clear how precarious life can be.

 

I've always believed that us here in North America have no idea what could be waiting for us. Our comfy, spoiled middle class lifestyle could be yanked away from us in an instant, either due to social upheaval, natural disaster, economic collapse, etc

We naively think that economic collapse just can't happen in Canada or the US. Why not? Economic collapse is a fairly routine event in Central, South American, and African countries

Why should we think we're immune from it?

I've been all over the world. Quite frankly, it makes me sick how spoiled and arrogant we have become

 

I could be soon. Due to the mental illness of someone I work for.

 

What's worse is most people say "Don't tax the rich because when I win the lottery, I don't want MY money going to those welfare bums!" What they don't realize is their odds of becoming "one of those welfare bums" is a LOT higher than their odds of becoming rich.

 

I'm not homeless yet because my GF is able to make the house payment. I was paying it up until last October when I lost my job. Now I'm getting unemployment. It is enough to buy food and pay the car payment. If I can't find a job before my unemployment runs out, I may have to sell the Prius to protect my credit. But I will still have a place to live.

 

Good luck my friend. There will always be another Prius for you in the future if you have to sell the one you have in the present.

 

Not me, but we have hosted 'couch surfers' occasionally...

One of our sons (he's 21) has been a couch surfer, but now he has a job, and is renting a house with two other people, so he's got his own space.

 

Never been homeless, and never want to be. I hope I have too many good friends and family for that to ever happen.

 

I fully agree. I've been expecting collapse since Nixon was in office. I'm not a "move to the mountains and wear camo" type, but I'm prepared for most urban disasters. Always have a "bug-out" route that doesn't involve major highways (dirt roads are best).

 

Our family calls it "people pretending they don't have a house", basically the same thing!

Not me either....known some in our family that chose to be though...

 

I've resembled a homeless person at times, hundreds of miles from home on a bicycle trip. But that's not the same. Around here, the asylums were closed, and lost souls wander the streets they used to gaze upon. Some make do by collecting pop cans, some are into whatever drugs they can get their hands on, and a few regulars even say hello back. We'd all be better off if mental illness were treated properly, but so far the institutions have been little more than ritualised abuse.