Ever Been Homeless?

There is a woman who shows up at the Carmichael post office when the weather gets cold (we are talking California cold, 40 - 50°F, not Canadian cold). She is obviously mentally ill, mumbling under her breath as people come in to check their PO boxes. They have cameras in the post office and signs that prohibit loitering, but she usually only stays one or two nights a week, so they don't catch her unless she stays on consecutive nights.

I don't think she is dangerous, but she did seem perturbed by me at first; maybe she thought that I would turn her in. I have heard her say something unintelligible to a couple of other people - I talked to a woman who she said something to and she didn't know why the homeless lady was upset with her.

Starting to see more people pushing shopping carts around the neighborhood lately too.

 

No, no one points a gun at your head. But a lot of chemical dependencies are the result of overwhelming pain. Not physical, but psychological. You turn to crap like that when you can't think of any way to dull/kill the pain and you don't have the tools to make a healthy decision.

No healthy person says "I think I'll go snort a line of coke and see how it feels." You have to be in a position where that would look desirable.

Coming from a family of addicts and having addictive tendencies myself, I can't blame the addict. It becomes your own fault when you're aware that it's interfering with your life and you keep doing it anyway.

 

I think most people have addictive tendancies, some people are able to control them, others cant.

 

I'll agree with that. But I think that's a function of other factors. It's not a simple matter of willpower.

 

I am not so sure. My addiction is food. I have a lot of problem with willpower. I know I should not eat something but I still do.

 

My wife has the same problem. And she maintains it's because of underlying issues. When she's going through very stressful times, she always feels like eating fattening foods. She doesn't ... but only because she's found ways to keep the urges at bay and has worked very hard to address her underlying issues.

I feel the same about obese people as I do about other addicts. You don't eat that much unless it's giving you something you don't feel you're getting elsewhere.

John Goodman had a great line on Roseanne. Something like "do what I do ... roll all those feelings into a tight ball, stuff it way down inside and put food on it."

 

Addiction is EXTREMELY common in the USA. 25% of adults still smoke and just about everyone of them wishes they didn't. Of course, since cigarettes are legal the consequences aren't legal or social-you aren't an outcast-strictly health problems-eventually. People who are unlucky enough or risk taking enough to choose illegal drugs get the double wammy of legal/social problems and the health problems.
The war on drugs is why we have such a huge prison population and lots of corrupt LE. What a waste of time having 10,000's of LE wasting their time and our money on drugs when we are in the middle of two wars. It is also why many SA counties and Mexico are under the sway of Narco terrorists.If there wasn't any profit in drugs the gangs would fade away.No easy way to pay these thugs-they would go back to being local thugs-easy prey for local cops.
Oh well,
Charlie

 

I've always maintained if you want to solve most of your problems, look in the mirror and question the person you see. I have the balls for that sort of brutally frank and honest introspection, most fear it

 

I try not to look into mirrors.

 

And that's the biggest problem. You have either be healthy or desperate enough to be able to do that and actually make the change you want made. That's why many addicts have to hit absolute rock bottom before they can really start to kick the addiction.

A person has to have something that can break through the fear. I know far too many people that have skirted very close to that edge, only to pull away. They're more afraid of what they'll find inside than what's on the outside.

The kicker is they probably aren't aware of what they're afraid of. The only way they'll find out is by breaking through that fear. Catch-22, no?

As an example, I've been in therapy for a number of years. But I was healthy or desperate enough to realize I needed help. I know many people who sorely need therapy, but they think they're just fine. It's clear to me that they're afraid of something, but until that fear becomes a big enough problem in their life, they have no reason to address it.

 

That is a healthy confession, and proof you're man enough to deal with it. I've always maintained that most folks are in complete denial of whatever monkey is on their back

Too bad more folks won't adapt your attitude

 

Not many people are mature enough to deal with the truth, straight on, especially when it's about themselves.

 

Ahhh ... but I was lucky enough to be in a place that permitted me to realize I needed assistance. Much denial comes from not having the tools to deal with what happens after the denial goes away. It's really a chicken & egg problem.

 

I was a backcountry ranger for many years in the High Sierra (Yosemite, John Muir, Ansel Adams, Sequoia-Kings Canyon), Rocky Mountains and on Isle Royale (Lake Superior). You must model zero impact camping, take care of stock, clean up after others, and move every day. You do this for 4 to 5 months at a time. You must carefully manage your nonperishable food, compact all refuse picked up (avoiding bear problems) and model what you teach to visitors who come through. You must appear fresh, clean and knowledgable every day to visitors who come through. You must constantly clean up after others and be prepared for any kind of weather.

This was the "University of the Wilderness" where wilderness teaches a person the answers to questions we have not yet learned how to ask.

This is different from the urban homeless who focus on cities and never overcome their limitations, including crime and filth.

 

My ex-BIL was one of those men (and yes, they often are men) who lived in a steady state of denial and refused help, counseling, etc. He has yet to admit to a drinking problem, in fact.

There are a LOT of people in therapy because an important person in their life (SO, parent, etc.) who really needed therapy or other treatment refused to go. So Proco, you did good. Just as not getting help has a ripple effect on your loved ones, so does getting help.

 

Skruse, I notice you are from the Fresno area. My dad hailed from Porterville CA and I have a strange fondness for the central valley that I cannot overcome. I sure do love those surrounding mountains and the far flung spots in the interior of the state.

 

I am not sure why this posting was started but it makes me feel really hopeful in my line of work. I am the case manager for two different housing programs - one is a transitional housing facility/program for homeless families and individuals. People in our somewhat small community are often shocked to hear we have a growing homeless population. The responses I get when doing outreach can be very disheartening - people hear homeless and think of a drunken, dirty old man with a cardboard sign. True there are those who chose to man street corners, but they are a tiny representation of the true homeless population. People we see daily and would never guess were sleeping in a tent or their car or bouncing from one friends couch to the next... sure sometimes people play the system, but on the other hand I have a lot of clients who want nothing more than to get back on their feet and they throw everything they have into getting jobs, regaining a foothold on financial stability, getting off assistance programs and getting from our transitional shelter to their own homes or apartments. I get frustrated with those who are system abusers and users too, but for those who truly need the help in a time of crisis so they can get things back under control the stereotypes are cruel, demeaning and can be a roadblock in their progress - so if you always picture beggers and :bums: when you hear "homeless" maybe its time to rethink that... that is my two cents... or just a long rant...

 

Not a bad rant though... I posted earlier of someone in our family that "chose" to be homeless.

They were married and both of them merely "existed" living in an equipment storage lot in Denver. Nothing we could do to help them worked, and we had to finally accept that that's the way they "wanted" to live.

The city finally condemned their "hovel", and the uncle went to a nursing home and his wife has moved on to other things.

I've even met people with college degrees that were homeless, but most of them were just down on their luck and needed a little boost to get going again. The clinical "pep talk" usually gets some of them going that experience depression because of their situation. Of course the "chronically homeless" we'll always have thanks to how our present system works. I've said before..."If you want to understand homelessness, just volunteer some time at a homeless shelter". It's truly a real humbling experience!