Why I want to be emperor of the world.

Could be. You're supposed to make a wimmin "tingle" but generally NOT by using electricity!

I have to lie down, I feel rather faint

 

I just want to know what brand of beer before I sign up.
I drink Pilsner Urquell .
A Coors Light beer volcano would be like hell.
Can you select your own brand in heaven?
If not, then I may as well resume my sinning and enjoying myself.

 

Theres a country song that goes
"There aint no beer in heaven, thats why we drink it here.''
Country music philosophy 101.

 

As would a Bud Light volcano.

I'm hoping the beer volcano will have a microbrew pub at the crater rim. :madgrin:

 

See! Already causing problems, now they are going to have an all out war over which beer should be in heaven!:boxing:

Anyway it should be an Australian Beer, like Coopers, they are the best.:first:

:angel::angel::angel::angel::angel:

 

Now you're modifying the story to answer the objections. It's starting to sound more like a religion all the time.

 

Why

Actually, all beers flow out of the great beer volcano, you get the one beer you want to drink when you put four face to the fountain... and the spillage is evaporated before it can get to your collar, unless you are there with one of the multitudes of midgets at the same time to drink from the great beer volcano, where you if you are too close you will be drenched every time the little person opens their mouth. pirates don't get drenched because they always bring a mug and know enough to never trust a midget if you want to keep dry on the great beer volcano, and pirates usually do not get so close that the little folks can just open their mouth to get you, thus the pirate penchant to carry a mug, as well as a spork and taws on their belt... both pirates and midgets are a bit crafty when they want to be, but can easily be had if you have a modicum of intelligence, cause well... by the time you will get to notice em, they're usually already drunk.

 

What kind of heaven is that, where everyone is drunk all the time? And why are there still pirates? In a perfect world, shouldn't everyone be able to find meaningful work?

 

If I were Supreme Ruler, we would have a world without criminals.

I would have something "special" planned for the 12 year old gun-toting car thieves here in Winnipeg who purposely mow down pedestrians

 

Oh gawd, but you're picky!

 

Heratics!! The Bunny is the one true god.

 

Nah, he was calling you a follower of Hera, Zeus' older sister and, um, wife.

How about if we make this daniel's house of pancakes with an emperor pro tem and see if you can manage it brilliantly?

 

Just trying to bulk up your resume before the big job interview. If DHOP started to accomplish great things, I think that would be an asset for you.

 

Emperors in Japan were descendants of god.
If Daniel is descended from the Spaghetti Monster that would seal the deal.

 

I used to be a spaghetti monster. At other times I've been a pizza monster, and a cookie monster. But I don't want to be Emperor. Well, maybe long enough to mandate the use of metric and the ISO standard date format of yyyy mm dd, abolish the silly notion of heaven, and outlaw the use of all poisons. But all that would go against most people's wishes, and I'd only get voted out. Which brings up the question of whether emperors are supposed to do our bidding, or we're supposed to do theirs.