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Ain't It the Truth!!

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by DaveinOlyWA, Jul 30, 2004.

  1. DaveinOlyWA

    DaveinOlyWA 3rd Time was Solariffic!!

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    NINETEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN
    By Dave Barry


    1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
    2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
    3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
    4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
    5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
    6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
    7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
    8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
    9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
    10. Never lick a steak knife.
    11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
    12. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
    13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
    14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
    15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
    16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
    17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
    18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
    19. Your friends love you anyway.

    Thought for the day:

    Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
     
  2. Tempus

    Tempus Senior Member

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    SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING?

    A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

    A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

    A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

    A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

    A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

    A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

    A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

    A snail can sleep for three years.

    Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

    All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

    Almonds are a member of the peach family.

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

    Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

    Butterflies taste with their feet.

    Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

    "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

    February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

    In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

    If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

    If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

    It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

    Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

    Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

    No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

    On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

    Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

    Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

    Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

    "Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

    The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

    The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

    The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

    The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

    The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

    The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

    There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

    There are more chickens than people in the world.

    There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous

    There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

    There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

    Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

    TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

    Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

    Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

    Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.


    .............Now you know everything
     
  3. Batavier

    Batavier Member

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    Good to know.

    And: "Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself", at least you'd never be hungry again if it digested itself. :D
     
  4. bruceha_2000

    bruceha_2000 Senior Member

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    Better talk to your source, sharks aren't fish!
     
  5. Tempus

    Tempus Senior Member

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  6. efusco

    efusco Moderator Emeritus
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    I think they are...maybe you're thinking of whales?!
     
  7. tag

    tag Senior Member

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    Out of all of the facts listed in this thread, I find this one the most disturbing.
     
  8. bruceha_2000

    bruceha_2000 Senior Member

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    No, I know whales are mammals.

    Given the scientific classification, sharks are as related to bony fish as they are to mammals. But, since they do both say "fish", I'll concede the point :)

    Domain Eukarya
    Kingdom Animalia
    Phylum Chordata
    Subphylum Vertebrata
    • Class Agnatha: Fish lacking jaws
    • Class Chondrichthyes: Cartilaginous fish
    • Class Osteichthyes: Bony fish
    • Class Amphibia: Amphibians, adapted to terrestrial and aquatic environments
    • Class Reptilia: Reptiles, descendants of amphibians adapted to living on land alone
    • Class Aves: The birds
    • Class Mammalia: The mammals, a diverse class with hair and mammary glands
     
  9. N9IWP

    N9IWP New Member

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    At least that list didn't have the duck echo thing (for the record - duck quacks do echo)

    the longest word on one line is RUPTUREWORT not TYPEWRITER

    Winston Churchill story debunked:
    http://www.snopes.com/history/world/churchill.asp

    At what rate of speed are they walking?

    I don't have time, but there are other inaccuracies.

    Brian
    "in any internet trivia list, at least 3 facts are false"
     
  10. TonyPSchaefer

    TonyPSchaefer Your Friendly Moderator
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    I only count 26 states on the back of my $5.

    Then again, Lincoln is flipping me off, so I might have bigger problems.
     
  11. Tempus

    Tempus Senior Member

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    Ok, so can we change it to; Winston Churchill was CONCIEVED in a Cloak Room at a dance? That way no one can dis-prove it then, right?

    Sounds more fun too :)
     
  12. DaveinOlyWA

    DaveinOlyWA 3rd Time was Solariffic!!

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    there is only 26 states on the $5 bill...

    the american flag on the canadian $2 is interesting

    sharks do live birth, so to say they are a fish is stretching it a bit. the do however have gills.
     
  13. Sun__Tzu

    Sun__Tzu New Member

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    That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
     
  14. kenmce

    kenmce High Voltage Member

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    >In the last 4,000 years, no new
    >animals have been domesticated.

    Hey, what about gerbils?
     
  15. Frank Hudon

    Frank Hudon Senior Member

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    Ok I just dug out a 2 buck bill and looked at the flag and it's the Canadian flag, it's waving in the breeze(hot air more like it knowing politicians) and you can see the solid bar on the left and the maple leaf in the middle and the right bar is on a lower level as it's curled back towards the middle. Sorry to disappoint you
     
  16. DaveinOlyWA

    DaveinOlyWA 3rd Time was Solariffic!!

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    ok that i believe... most of that stuff ive heard before, but the american flag thing was just a bit too much to swallow. although i will say that someone with less than perfect vision, i could see a mistaken identity being possible.
     
  17. N9IWP

    N9IWP New Member

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    http://www.snopes.com/business/money/redensign.asp

    Sonopes is a good debunking cite. If you don't believ them, they usually post souces so you can decide for yourself. Actually there is one fasle fact there (something about pirates) just to make a point that you shouldn't trust any one source.

    Brian