What's your favorite "Prius noise"

That kind of preloading may make more sense for the transmission parking mechanism than it does for the parking brake.

The transmission park mechanism is a pawl that drops into notches. There is a little bit of slop, so the car can bounce from one side of the notch to the other. If you can predict which way the car's more likely to roll (say, on a hill), you can let the car gently roll up against that end of the notch, and it will tend to stay there. Of course, this requires shifting to P first, so you have that stop to let the car roll up to.

There's nothing really comparable going on with the parking brake. That doesn't have any pawls or notches; it works by clamping brake pads onto a rotor, tending to hold the rotor right where it is, with no slop either way. It only holds by friction, so it may be possible to drag the wheel with sufficient force, but it won't just loosely bonk from stop to stop the way the transmission park mechanism does.

It's possible that what you're doing is preloading the suspension, stretching the car out by pulling with the drive wheels against the parking-braked rear wheels, then trying to "P" the drive wheels into that position, so the suspension strain is pulling back against the stop.

I'd think that would be kind of difficult to accomplish reliably every time, as it would kind of depend on the notch the pawl happens to drop into when you stab "P".

 

Bingo -- from my crappy description, somehow you hit the nail on the head.

Obviously, I don't park on hills to sleep, but many parking spots will have a slight slope. I use forward/reverse as my friend to move the suspension slightly in the more useful direction. Apply the parking brake while rolling backwards, the rear end lifts and vice versa. I'm talking lift foot off brake, car rolls about a foot, jam on parking brake.

Again, it might be placebo, but it seems like the parking brake holds more securely having been set with the suspension "stretch."

 

That "rock" will be most prominent if the car is parked on a slight downhill grade.

 

A few minutes after the vehicle turns off she makes what seem like shutting down noises, she whirrs a bit and then there's an urch that sounds a lot like a cute fart. At least that's the sound I would imagine my cute female car making if it were a dainty fart

 

That’s odd. Why?