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Is loneliness and social isolation a serious health problem in this country?

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by jared2, Dec 19, 2006.

  1. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    I believe it is, ranking with smoking and obesity as one of the top health problems in this and other countries. More and more people are living alone without family or a social network. They must feel especially lonely at Christmas time. Why are so many people living alone and socially isolated? What suggestions could you make for anyone in this situation?
     
  2. huskers

    huskers Senior Member

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    First of all, there is a difference between being alone and loneliness. Some people prefer to be alone. 2nd, we no longer have the extended family living close together. The (and I hate to use the word) traditional family is gone in many cases. We are a mobil society and with high divorce rates our family trees have become bushes. Good or bad...who knows...it is the way it is.It is not the 50s anymore and Leave It To Beaver has been cancelled. Happy Holidays !!! :lol:
     
  3. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(huskers @ Dec 19 2006, 10:19 AM) [snapback]364133[/snapback]</div>
    1. I would suspect that about 99% of people who live alone are lonely
    2. Societies that still have the extended family (for example India, China) have much lower rates of metal illness.
    3. Divorce rates are high - yes, but why? Why could our parents stay together long enough to raise kids and we can't?
    4. Mobility - this is right. My family is in the U.S., Canada and China.
    5. Traditional family. Yes, but as I said, there are many kinds of families and those living in them are not living alone.
    6. Does anyone here live alone and really love it?
     
  4. hybridTHEvibe

    hybridTHEvibe New Member

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    I agree with huskers.
    I am not sure how living alone and being happy about it impacts one's health.
     
  5. hybridTHEvibe

    hybridTHEvibe New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Dec 19 2006, 10:28 AM) [snapback]364134[/snapback]</div>
    2. How is the mental illness determined in those societies? What is considered a mental illness in our society vs. other societies?
    3. I think we could if we forced ourselves.
    6. I know quite a few people.
     
  6. Proco

    Proco Senior Member

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    The biggest suggestion I could give anyone who is feeling lonely or isolated is to keep trying. When you're lonely, it's extremely hard to put yourself out there, but you have to. Get involved in activities where you can meet people. Go to church, join a bowling league, take a class, something. Professional help shouldn't be ruled out, either. If you're so lonely that it's paralyzing, then there's probably a deeper problem that needs to be addressed. One that no number of Brooklyn strikes will cure.

    As for why there seems to be more social isolation today than years ago, I think it comes from us being a far more mobile society. The whole idea of commuting to work by car(if Disney's Carousel of Progress can be believed) didn't really exist until the 40s. Then we started moving farther and farther from home.

    It doesn't help that a lot of popular technology gives us ways to isolate ourselves:
    • The computer allows you to "connect" with people, but never actually meet them.
    • iPods (that bastard child of the Walkman) allows you to shut other people out.
    • PlayStations (and other videogames) keep us inside on our cans when we could be meeting people.
    • Cell phones allow us to walk around having conversations while ignoring the people around us.
    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(huskers @ Dec 19 2006, 10:19 AM) [snapback]364133[/snapback]</div>
    True ... some people do prefer to be alone. But some people also say they prefer to be alone when the reality is they're screaming for human connection.

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Dec 19 2006, 10:28 AM) [snapback]364134[/snapback]</div>
    I wouldn't necessarily use the fact that previous generations stayed together as proof of anything. In many cases, it would have been better if the parents had divorced rather than staying together. I agree that people do seem to be more willing to just throw in the towel at the slightest sign of trouble these days. But they also seem to be a lot less willing to put up with being treated poorly.

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hybridTHEvibe @ Dec 19 2006, 10:32 AM) [snapback]364135[/snapback]</div>
    Studies have shown that people who live alone have greater health risks. The most important thing if a person lives alone is that they have some kind of support network they can rely on. That's more important than if someone lives alone or not.
     
  7. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    "The biggest suggestion I could give anyone who is feeling lonely or isolated is to keep trying."

    I agree. Your life can be completely transformed very quickly if you meet the right person.
     
  8. josemedina

    josemedina Junior Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Dec 19 2006, 11:09 AM) [snapback]364129[/snapback]</div>
    Having a family is important to me and I could not imagine not have some type of family. I do have a church family also that I hold very dear to my heart. I belong to a very large Lutheran Church that just grabs a hold of you and shows the love of Jesus. Check out www.concordialutheranchurch.com and join us for a very special Christmas that will warm your heart.

    Merry Christmas from San Antonio, Texas
     
  9. hybridTHEvibe

    hybridTHEvibe New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Proco @ Dec 19 2006, 10:44 AM) [snapback]364139[/snapback]</div>
    I haven't really looked and I am not saying you are wrong, but can you point me to those studies? thanks
     
  10. Stev0

    Stev0 Honorary Hong Kong Cavalier

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    I don't have any kids, so when my wife passed away last year, I suddenly found myself alone. And since I usually work from home, I often go a day or two without actually speaking to anyone (or just talking to people on the phone).

    However, I am not lonely. I "talk" to you folks on this and other boards every day. I do volunteer work and socialize with other people there. I don't have a lot of friends, but I have enough so that when I want to be with real, live people, someone is always there.

    And I have my cat.

    So I'm not lonely; in fact, I'm probably happier with my lifestyle than most people are; I have the best of both worlds - I have as much "space" as I possibly want (and I'm the type who usually needs a LOT of "my own space"), yet I can be with people whenever I want.

    Of course it helps that I'm healthy and financially well off.
     
  11. grasshopper

    grasshopper Member

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    Is loneliness and social isolation a serious health problem in this country?

    Only in a brothel
     
  12. Proco

    Proco Senior Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hybridTHEvibe @ Dec 19 2006, 11:14 AM) [snapback]364155[/snapback]</div>
    Actually, I wish I could. I know I've read about them, but I'll be damned if I can find them. I could also be confusing it with the whole "married men live longer" thing. To that end, feel free to take my specious claim with as big a grain of salt as you feel necessary. :D

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Stev0 @ Dec 19 2006, 11:23 AM) [snapback]364157[/snapback]</div>
    First off, I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

    Having a support system of some kind is tremendously important. Having people to talk to when you're feeling stressed or down is a necessity. I think that's even more important than making sure you share living space with a person. Having a pet is a wonderful thing, too. They love you unconditionally (OK ... cats can have their own agendas. Work with me.) and they can comfort you when you're down.

    Also, it's very possible to not live alone and yet feel quite lonely.
     
  13. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    Go to your library and try the PsycINFO database. You will find all sorts of articles about social isolation.
     
  14. hybridTHEvibe

    hybridTHEvibe New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Dec 19 2006, 11:50 AM) [snapback]364176[/snapback]</div>
    This brings up a list of e-journals, is that what you meant to post?
     
  15. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hybridTHEvibe @ Dec 19 2006, 11:53 AM) [snapback]364178[/snapback]</div>

    Sorry. I can't post the article I wanted, and there are probably copyright restrictions. Go to any library and try PsycINFO. There are many articles and studies. Here is the citation for one:


    "The clinical significance of loneliness: A literature review." Heinrich, Liesl M.; Gullone, Eleonora; Clinical Psychology Review, Vol 26(6), Oct 2006. pp. 695-718. [Original Journal Article]
     
  16. F8L

    F8L Protecting Habitat & AG Lands

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    In some of the stuff I've read they tend to agree that social isolation is indeed bad for our health. I would also save that it could be detrimental to our community and society as a whole. Because being alone dulls ones social skills it is easy for them to just disassociate with their community and become "self-centered". This is detrimental to communities and more than a few psychologists and ethicists agree that one of the biggest problems in society is this disassociation with communit and road rage is a prime example. Everyone is just out to "get theirs" and who gives a damn about anyone else because I don't know them and will probably never see them again. Its a dog eat dog world.... The rat race.... etc.

    We evolved as a social group. We did not have the tools to live solo. We we evolve in another direction? I doubt it. This lack of connection with other humans will lead to a lack of compassion and we will end ourselves IMO. :)
     
  17. hybridTHEvibe

    hybridTHEvibe New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Dec 19 2006, 11:56 AM) [snapback]364179[/snapback]</div>
    But this is about loneliness and I thought you were talking about living alone
     
  18. grasshopper

    grasshopper Member

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    IMHO if you are completely in tune with yourself and the spiritual and physical world around you, you could be stranded on a planet alone and be sane and happy. Most people don't go through a stage where there alone for years and therefore are overly dependent on other people to supply them with there needs instead of deriving them from within.
     
  19. Godiva

    Godiva AmeriKan Citizen

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Dec 19 2006, 10:28 AM) [snapback]364134[/snapback]</div>
    I do. I love living alone. Then again, I'm not "lonely". Not yet.

    I work. I have people in my "office" that I talk to. (I'm a school librarian and have a library tech and network tech in the library that I talk to and laugh with every day.

    I have family close. My parents are 15 min. away and I eat dinner with them every Sunday night and will usually talk on the phone a few more times during the week. I bring my dog over to play with their dog.

    I live alone but I have a dog. I don't consider talking to the dog a sign of mental illness. (It's not that I expect him to talk back.) But I do consider talking to him part of his mental health. He is also allowed to sleep on the bed with me as I am his only "pack" and he needs the contact. It's probably good for me too.

    Now once I retire I won't have that contact at work and when my parents die my only local family will be my sister and her husband and sons and they are 30 min. away. But that won't be for a decade or two, so I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I can always go back to ballroom dancing...they were a friendly crowd. Or I can join a quilting guild.

    One things for sure, if I feel "lonely" I won't just sit in the house and cry and mope and say "poor, poor me".
     
  20. SSimon

    SSimon Active Member

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    I lived alone for several years out of choice. I enjoyed this. It was a time that I learned a great deal about myself. I made it a point to decline dating. I just wanted to be by myself. It was a time that I grew to be a stronger, independent person. It was one of the best periods of my life. Around holidays, I did get melancholy, however. I would go to gatherings and most people were coupled off. When I got home I felt very lonely. This passed within the next day or two and I was back to enjoying my life. When the holidays got me down, I just made myself aware of the timing of this and assured myself it would pass. All of this is coming from a person that is most comfortable outdoors and away from people.

    I think it is key that one has a very good support network of friends and/or family in order to make this type of experience favorable. I think it's also germane how one feels about themselves. If they don't feel "whole" on their own or are insecure about themselves, I'm sure that living alone can wreak havoc on them.

    I've read that technology does prompt isolation but in some ways I wonder if it serves to save people from isolation. Maybe these people that have no other "live" associations are able to achieve some sort of relationship and fulfillment on sites such as this. Or, on the contrary, maybe they aren't comfortable achieving any other sort of intimate relations and technology "enables" them to forgo this effort.

    In any event, I'm hoping y'all make it through the holidays ok.