Fri 12 Jun 26: Kinda like this new schedule -- ticks all the boxes, great --- A weird morning. Du nn o how to put my finger on exactly how, just the normal rhythm's changed somewhat. The morning commute's weather were a lot better than the past wk, which were at least that much better than rain... but all the usual touchstones haven't been working, as if goalposts have moved somehow... Not for the important stuff, really... but as an aspie I tend to notice details more than most. Patterns are things that sort of buzz under my skin... and I get used to those frequencies as a sort of familiar, calming thing, best I can figure. So when they change, I notice. People are oddly beginning to diverge in their habits, between accelerating pace, and decelerating. So the delta between's become broader and more noticeable. The feeling's collectively more disjointed, more cynical (which I'm convinced, the bulk of drivers on-road on this island, are looking for any trigger to leave a semblance of unity and order), whilst the new slow-and-fine-with-it group I've noticed and settled into, are actually slowing down even more -- past the practical speeds the 5G needs to get best mpg -- which is pretty slow, given I'm rarely over 55 now, if can be helped (old average was about that, so peak speeds were 60 - 65). Not only on-road tho -- even walking around, for a Friday it all seems rather scant... and who is there, actions feel quite scattered. Little things at the usual haunts, are being left undone all week (even thru the flaky weather which can unnerve us tropical schlubs and fortune-paying tourists). Usually Friday has the tweakers doing their dumbarse shens near pau hana time... but today, mostly they're absent. But little bits of sand in the figurative speedos, were everywhere. For example, no straws at Starbies in Target, all week. They constantly run out for a day, but never a whole week. Next were prices at the co-op market I love, which had snack preserved plums and other treats from China, Taiwan, and Japan I lurrrv: anything savoury with animal meat in it (mostly seafood), were over $12 a bag now, of perhaps 4 - 6 oz of product (pretty sudden jump from the ~$8 - $10 it used to be for same just 2 mos ago. Guess need to check up more often, as couldn't eat these snacks on the med). Next two were close calls, all because I'd resisted the urge to listen to the dying-but-still-present voice, to rush (behind wheel of 5G). Lastly, the bank employee, who were usually literally seconds off my wristwatch for opening at 0830 sharp... got there 2mins late and for the life of her, couldn't get the door to open -- we in line outside uncharacteristically waiting for her to get it together All are examples of things usually as reliable as life can be in this day and age... failing all at once, today. Being careful and taking that extra second, made these events roll off the back without incident... but still not as in-the-pocket as has been -- oddly enough, when it were raining more. Does someone born in a storm, still fit into the fractal of daily life better, when it's crappy outside? Nah, doubt it -- otherwise I'd have noticed. But doesn't rule out that certain things may tend to fall into line, at least as relates to the course of my life...? Have noticed signs of that, more than in-general. So maybe I think the kicker that let me know, someone up there wasn't going to let me keep riding this luck wave any longer than I have... was spilling a very troublesome food on the carpet, once home. Needs vacuuming and chemical cleaning... so a down-tools, non-deferrable FFS moment. These, am not all that good at figuring out the purpose of... as in past they've both heralded something good (almost like paying Charon the Ferryman, passage in a few coins), or just reinforced my day was going to be like this, until something (rarely known to me what) changes. So just trying to stay present, trying not to miss anything obvious, either everyday-practically, or in the weeds with my batshirt personal exps, I do know what to do about... Sorry if this seems overly foo-foo today -- not my intent. But more than other days, this feeling I need to be on alert, seems obvious enough to overcome my typical cognitive density --- more when afternoon's clients arrive
Sat 13 Jun 26: Sorry -- yesterday's client's cut in half by someone's classic excuse: 'O hai, left my place on the West Side 30 mins later than I shoud've, and didn't scout out the route despite a week's lead on the appt... but am going to be late 30 mis, is that alright...?' Nope -- times 2. So only two others for a very short day... and unfortunately didn't have anything really to talk about not already mentioned here. Better luck next week... Tbf, that excuse used to be epidemic for this biz, when I charged a lot less for fewer modalities and exp, before covid. Apparently have moved into a new demographic where people are much less apt to act like children and much more to show to appts on-time... seems important distinction, is they do the the xtra work for that eventuality never to happen, which is how everyone around me growing up and especially in mil, were socially-contracted to conform to. Am very sorry your life is hard enough, you can't bear to take a few mins to even look at the email and directions video I send every client, with detailed maps and instructions in plain English (refined over many years)... then when you're late, blame me for being unreasonable. Nope, not having it, better luck next time (or with another provider). And to be crystal-clear, this is from the past and not a phenom today, charging what I'm worth... My rules are simple: treat me like your medical provider. Do they let you slide when you're 20 mins late for an appt in a packed waiting room? Nope. Do they care your sister's boyfriend's mom's dog died? Of course not -- it's not their problem. There have to be rules, boundaries that are clear and apply to every client. You can't make your appt, call 24 hrs ahead and reschedule. You can't make them on the day? Reschedule again, take the hit and learn from it -- it's not my fault you didn't make it here by 15 mins after the hour you're supposed to be at the door (yes, do grant 15 mins grace, just like the local clinics do). But you don't make even that, don't get in my face, or sh*t-talk me on your choice of echo chamber, because you didn't make you own chosen appt on time, when goalposts hadn't moved a micron That used to be the stressor pretty much 3x / wk, back in those lump-taking days. And these kinds of clients now, apparently had very coddling providers to spoil them (and will never completely go away). But can't run a business like that -- nigh-on impossible to accomplish anything worth the price of admission in 45 mis -- need often more time (and more cash) for select but common problems. Can't see whether they do, until on the table... so need more time to start, then atop that, show up >15 mins late... penalises the following client w\ severe hits on their time. So have to draw the line somewhere... Rant over -- the client in question yesterday, wasn't anywhere near as aggravating as those older clients in the day. But just goes to show this gig should be more about healing and vitality, than it ends up being in practice. And yep, I still love it
