What your car says about you

I think it says " I'm a well endowed stallion, sought after by women the world over".

 

My Prius says "Dog is my copilot". On the bumper.

Oh.

Well, in that case my Prius says BITE ME.

 

Kinda funny actually......

 

"I am an aging Trekkie tree-hugging left-wing unreconstructed hippie who no longer cares what other people think of me."

Live Long and Prosper

 

Imagine their disappointment when you step out of the car.

 

...and welcome.

 

My Prius says, "19 miles is too far, on a recumbent bike, 5 days a week, especially in the rain, and/or in the dark ... and it's too bad there weren't any nice homes like ours within walking or biking distance".
Anything more about what my Prius says is a stretch.

 

But did anyone notice the picture of a Prius? It is a Touring edition.... What does that say?

 

It obviously means that whoever drives one is driving it to combat their depression but will will commit suicide within this year anyway, in addition to loving the planet like a fat kid loves cake.

 

More....


Audi TT roadster
I don`t realize that I just bought a "sportscar` built on the
Golf/Beetle
platform
Audi TT coupe
I enjoy ultra high speed oversteer resulting in serious injury or
death

VW Golf
if male, gay; if female, enjoys simple transportation with a European
flair (but has no idea the thing is built in Mexico)

VW Golf cabriolet if male, blatantly homosexual; if female, very cool

VW Golf Turbodiesel
I belong to the strange subsect of turbodiesel VW owners who think
that these cars are the shiznit. If you don`t own one, you wouldn`t
understand. VW FOREVAH!!

VW Passat
I have the common sense to know that I have just bought the build
quality of an Audi A4 but spent $6,000 less

BMW 330
I`m a badge snob and think my untuned car is the fastest thing out
there (see also Ford Mustang)

BMW M3 (E36)
I`ma poser driving enthusiast, and don`t realize that my car is a
tarted
up piece of junk 325
I`ma complete poser wanker who attends import car shows and looks
down my nose at "all the ricers in their Honda Civics`

BMW M3 (E46)
I`m a driving enthusiast who can`t afford a 911; SMG is cool, but my
engine might blow up even though it was hand built.

BMW M5
I`m a really wealthy driving enthusiast OR I`m a doctor / personal
injury lawyer / own my own pharmaceuticals company and we just
went public

BMW M roadster
I`m in desperate need of sex from my 50+ year old wife. And I like
power oversteer.

BMW M coupe
see BMW M roadster, but also have no taste in automotive design
Jaguar X-Type
Despite the car`s humble underpinings, at least it looks like a Jag!
I
like my driving with a bit more luxury and don`t want a generic

German sedan.
Jaguar S-Stype
I am wealthy, and don`t want a BMW 5-series.

Jaguar S-Stype R I am wealthy, like to go fast and don`t want an M5.

Mercedes SLK
I`m a 50+ year old woman OR I think I own a true sportscar but Honda
Civics drive circles around me

Mercedes CLK
I like German coupes but can`t drive stick.
Mercedes E-Class I`m a wanker who couldn`t afford an E-Class unless
my mother died
and my inheritance paid for it.

Mercedes S-Class I`m really, really wealthy. You don`t understand
just how wealthy – my summer car is a Ferrari 456GTA; the S-Class is
a winter beater/family
car; my dogs ride in the back on the hides of numerous dead cows.

Mercedes SL
I`m really, really wealthy but can`t bear to be seen in a sedan, so
I try
to feel younger in this big coupe/convertible or whatever the hell
it is,
but it doesn`t work because only old men drive these things anyway.

AMG C43
I`m a driving enthusiast but can`t drive stick. Does that mean I`m
not
a true driving enthusiast?
AMG SL55 with tuned exhaust and flashing lights on the roof
I actually don't own this car (the FIA does) as I`m a washed up
racing
driver with no ride this season so I get to drive this "safety car`
around
all of the world's race tracks during Formula One races; only the
crowd gets to know how awesome it sounds because of all the sound
deadening material in the car

Any Brabus tuned Mercedes
I have more money than sense, and my car`s mods cost more than
most people`s homes, but at least it has big brakes to compensate for
that big block Benz under the hood.

Saab 99
This is my rally car that I beat the shit out of on the stages every
other
weekend OR I`m a poor university student who lives in New England
or the Pacific Northwest

Volvo C70
I`m the wealthy university student from Hong Kong

Volvo V70
—You know I used to be a really bad girl, I had a threesome with my
sister and her boyfriend Tom, but now, I am a Volvo driving soccer
mom!!"

Lamborghini Diablo
I own an even bigger automotive phallic symbol. I don`t care about
build quality, because when that V12 wails past 7000RPM right
behind my head, I am in heaven.

Ferrari F360 Challenge Stradale
I am trying to rule the world in a normally aspirated way like the
Porsche 996 GT3; even though my car is even more hardcore than
the GT3 (plexi side windows?!?) it costs twice as much as the GT3.

Porsche Boxster
I think my car is the shiznit because it`s a Porsche. Good thing
it`s an
excellent chassis, but I can`t drive worth shit.


Porsche Boxster S I`m a driving enthusiast, but don`t care for the
M3 and can`t afford a
911.

Porsche 911 Carrera 2 (996)
I`m a hardcore driving enthusiast OR I`m a badge snob who CAN
afford a 911.

Porsche 911 Turbo (993 or 996)
I`ma very wealthy driving enthusiast and knowthat while my car costs
less than a Ferrari F360, it can still drive circles around anything
from
Maranello.

Lotus Elise
I own what may be the finest, purest and most affordable expression
of sportscar
Lotus Elise, imported into the US by Sun International, with Acura
Type-R engine swap
What may be the finest, purest and most affordable expression of
sportscar is not imported to the US, unless you buy one modified with
a Type-R engine. I have lots of money.

Lotus Exige
I own a mini McLaren F1.






Aston Martin DB7 James Bond should have driven this car. Good thing
he didn`t because the
engine under the hood is a dog`s breakfast.

MINI Cooper S (by BMW)
I`ma badge snob and just HAVE to have the latest things. Nevermind
that my British icon of a car is built by Germans and powered by a
Brazilian made engine. The only saving grace is that the chassis is
excellent.
Smart
I live in a congested European or Asian city and revel in the ease of
parking this cute little car.
Brabus Smart
See Smart, but with too much money and sense. I STILL only have
70hp!!
Have owned or driven all of the European exotics above
My name is Alain de Cadenet. For some reason, every "Car Guy` I
meet loves to hate me.

Subaru Legacy
This is my rally car that I beat the shit out of on the stages every
other
weekend OR I live a boring life. On a farm. In Alberta. But want to
drive something different anyway, and enjoy the build quality (and
strength!) of a tractor.

Subaru Impreza 2.5RS (GC)
I`m a driving enthusiast with a special North American spec motor for
my chassis, but am frustrated that it only came with 165hp. To make
up for it, I have either a) added a $6,000 turbo kit or b) made up
for
the lack of horsepower by adding JDM bodykit and wings or c) will
soon trade in for a WRX

Subaru Impreza WRX (GC)
I live in Europe or Japan, am a driving enthusiast and revel in the
stupid power through all four wheels of this little car and drive
circles
around BMWs.

Subaru Impreza WRX STi (North America)
I revel in 2.5L of turbo boxer power, 300hp, 300 foot lbs and the
most
bad nice person STi in the world. Finally finally finally we get the best
Impreza in the world.

Subaru Legacy B4 RSK
I`m a driving enthusiast with more mature tastes than my Impreza
owning brethren


Nissan 300ZX Twin Turbo See Ford Mustang and BMW 330 OR I used to
own a Saab
900 Turbo and told everyone on Saabnet.com that my 900
could beat anything under the sun and was a complete
donkey about it, got banned from the board, so sold the 900
and got the Z and think it`s the best Japanese sportscar ever
built but haven`t run a Supra or FD yet...

Nissan 350Z
I`m smart enough to buy a car with Porsche-like performance
for Chevy price; too bad the trim is so tacky and cheap OR I`m
a wanker who can`t drive stick and just bought this car to be
trendy

Nissan 240SX (S13)
I brag about owning a true Japanese sportscar but don`t
realize that my engine is from a truck.

Mazda Miata
I want to be seen in a convertible, but can`t afford a Z3/Boxter,
etc


Mazda RX7 (FD)
I`m a driving enthusiast who doesn`t mind replacing my engine every
other year and the scariest word in my vocabulary is —detonation" OR
I`m a wanker who owns one of the rare Competition Yellow Mica cars
and never drives it hard because it`s bad for cars to be driven hard
and people who autocross or drag race are stupid

Mazda RX7 (FD) with 20B triple rotor conversion
I`ma very wealthy driving enthusiast (but tending towards drag racing
rather than circuit racing) with a masochistic penchant for spending
lots and lots of time and money on a very difficult engine swap but
figure it`s all worth it when 700hp propels me in my 2800lbs car down
the dragstrip

Supra-7 (FD with Toyota Supra 2JZ engine swap)
see Mazda RX7 (FD) with 20B triple rotor conversion but with even
more money and time to burn, and add that I have more power than
a contemporary Formula One race car

Mazda RX8
I`m fortunate to have this very capable car at such a low price, but
it
just can`t match the voluptuous and sultry shape of the FD


Toyota Supra (Mk IV)
I`m a horsepower enthusiast who always asks to run —from a 50 roll"
and will absolutely demolish just about anything this side of a
Pagani
Zonda. And "BPU` ALWAYS makes my Supra into a 12 second car.
But never, ever mention the holeshot because traction is always an
issue (unless I own an auto). And SW is God. And my goal in life is
to —get a big single". And people who build up other marques always
ask to buy my stock fuel pump for some reason...


Toyota Altezza/Lexus IS300
I`ma driving enthusiast who can`t stand the sight of the BMW 330 and
get off on weird-nice person instrument clusters


Chevy Corvette (C5)
I`m a horsepower enthusiast and take heed that for the price of one
Acura NSX, I could have two and half C5s. See also BMW M
Roadster. I do not know what "handling` means, nor do I care, I just
want to look cool driving my car while bare chested.

Chevy Corvette Z06
I`ma driving enthusiast that takes comfort in knowing that for the
price
of one Acura NSX, I could have two Z06s. I take pleasure in knowing
that heads, intake and cams will put my "60s technology motor into
500hp range. And build quality is for pussies.

Chevy Camaro
I`m a horsepower enthusiast who can`t afford a C5, but at least the
engines are similar!

Cadillac CTS
I tell everyone that my car was developed on the Nurburgring, but
have no idea what the Nurburgring is.

Any Saturn
I tell everyone what a great car I own, but don`t realize it`s made
out
of plastic.

Dodge Viper
Who needs revs when you have 8L of V10 truck motor? I don`t give
a shit that I have a truck motor either.

Dodge Neon SRT I have more horsepower and can run the quarter faster
than a WRX.
There's zero camber in my car's setup for a reason, you know. What
are corners?

Ford Mustang
I think my untuned car is the fastest thing out there. See BMW 330.

Acura Integra
I`m likely a riceboy, and aspire to Integra Type-R ownership.

Acura Integra Type-R
I`m a driving enthusiast, and happiness is in the corners [see
BMW M3 (E30) ]

Acura Integra Type-R with JDM front end conversion
I`m a riceboy with lots of money.

Acura NSX
I`m a driving enthusiast, and happiness is in the corners OR
I`m a badge snob and have no idea that I could have bought
TWO Corvette Z06s for what I paid for this car that`s now
showing its age.

Honda Civic
see Acura Integra, but aspires to Civic Type-R ownership

Honda CRX
This is my autocross car OR I like to go to the street races in
my freshly painted orange "Rexwith front mounted AIRFILTER
and brag about running anyone who comes up with $1000 to
match the grand I`ve slapped on the hood, then quickly and
quietly withdraw when someone DOES come up with $1000
and wants to run.


http://members.shaw.ca/saaboteur/you-are-what-you-drive.pdf

 

Touring Prius ROCKS!

 

I had an '06 Subaru STI before my Prius.

Then I realized that I was paying $800 a month + premium gas at 18MPG + $800 for tires every 6 months + almost $2k a year for insurance. I also realized that I'm perfectly comfortable with the size of my manhood and traded up to the Prius .

 

My Prius doesn't talk. It's silent.

 

Mine says gas is over $3 a gallon and getting worse, and smartkey is cool

 

Lamborhini Reventon

Go ahead and try and catch me, Smokey. And even if you ever did, I am rich enough to BUY this entire state and fire your sorry @$$.