Game: Things You Wouldn't Say To A Police Officer

This is a true story. My dad was a criminal defense lawyer. He had a client who was pulled over by the cops for speeding. He said, "Oh, man! Can you hurry up? I'm on my way to a big coke deal!"

So, how's that?

 

Could you hold my drink?
There aren't any drugs in my glove compartment.
Do you need to see my gun?
I shot at a police office once but I missed.

 

Is it too late for you to have looked the other way?

 

Would you do me a favor and not look in the back seat?
Can I run to Krystals and come right back?

 

"Oh yeah, NOW you show up, pull me over for doing a lousy 90. Where the hell were you when some clown passed me doing at least 110 back on the freeway, hah? Useless."

"This is a school zone, sir, posted at 25; 15 when children are present. The crossing guard actually had to jump to avoid getting hit."

"Yeah. Hit by you chasing me. Well, I got a couple twenties in my wallet. That enough to suit you or should I write you a check?"

 

Can I just make a donation to the Highway Patrolman's ball?

 

"is there any way we can settle this trough sex?"
i saw it on trutv once

 

I take it you found the bodies?

 

During field sobriety test " You want me to do what? Hell, I coulden't do that if I were sober."

 

A relative who shall remain nameless (no, not me) onced failed a sobriety test and walked home. The next day, rested, relaxed, and sober, he still couldn't do the test.

 

"I was only speeding because i thought you found out i was sleeping with your wife."

 

"i was hypermiling."

 

Really? Only 95? You must have got me when I slowed down at the top of that hill!

 

"out of the way ! I have a Hybrid!"

 

Courtesy of George Carlin ...

"Say… don't I pay your salary?"
"You're a public servant. Get me a glass of water!"

 

"But I thought this low-rider would keep me under the radar..."

 

"I'll have a hamburger, french fries, and a chocolate shake."