Game: Things You Wouldn't Say To A Police Officer

It must be great never paying for your lunch.

 

ound:

You pulled in the big guns, Boulder Bum!

 

how come you didn't pick up any of the guys i was street racing?
...oops

 

As you get out of the car,
"That's not a gun, this is a gun!"

 

Ya got change?

 

True story...

When I was in college, I dated a woman who lived about 3 hours away and I used to travel there on weekend in my 1967 Ford station wagon. On the way home one Monday morning, I was making my acceleration out of a small town in Ohio and lo and behold -- passed a school going about 45 in a 25 zone.

Damn!

The local cop pulled me over, and said something like "You were traveling 20 mph over the limit in a school zone and I just couldn't let you slide."

I looked at him with an expression of great pride and said "45? Wow, that's pretty good for this old piece of junk!"

The good-natured officer laughed and we proceeded to have a nice conversation -- let's face it, he had me fair and square.

But he still wrote me a ticket and took my license and gave me a temporary until I paid the fine, which was the fashion in those days.

Dan

 

Geez officer, your eyes look glazed!

Too many donuts?

 

I'm sorry, but with all this smoke from my bong, I couldn't see the speedometer.

 

So i haven't tried this (yet), but i've always wondered... if you get pulled over for speeding (especially at night) and have your headlights on, has anyone thought to doll the dimmer all the way down before the officer approaches? Your speedometer display turns off - "I'm sorry officer, my speedometer broke yesterday, and the dealer can't look at it until Friday!"

Might get you off a ticket... on the other hand, if he figures it out you're screwed.

 

This happened to me; I was driving a 1989 Ford Tracer two door hatchback, with a Grateful Dead sticker on it, and I had long hair at the time. It was 1990. And I got pulled over, and taken into his car, where he had a camera on the car. He asked me if he could search the vehicle, and I said sure, since I had nothing to hide (sober and drug free since 1986).

He asked me if I had anything in the trunk, and I said, 'Oh about 30 TV's.', which clearly could not fit in that trunk. He got this look on his face, turned off the camera, and told me to take a hike.

I never got a ticket, or a warning, nor did I find out why he had pulled me over in the first place.

 

Officer, you have beautiful eyes.

 

Years ago, "The Onion" had a blurb that the Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled that having a Grateful Dead bumper sticker was sufficient probable cause to search your car.

 

True Story:

Driving home from school 20 years ago, and I roll through a stop sign. Just as I enter the intersection, I see the cruiser around the corner, and the guy is throwing his clipboard off his lap and frantically finding a place to put his coffee cup. At the other side of the intersection, I pull over to the curb. The lights are on, and he come screaching up behind me. First question from him, "do you know why I pulled you over?" (why do they ask this?)

Answer from me, "you didn't pull me over. I pulled over on my own and waited for you."

This was my first ticket. I've learned a thing or two since then. Now I floor it and try to hide.

 

Come on, give me the ticket already; can't you see I'm in a hurry?

 

"Honestly, those aren't my drugs, they probably belonged to the prostitute I killed and stuffed in the trunk."

 

Really, officer, if I cared at all about going slow, I wouldn't be driving this red Corvette.

 

I did the EXACT same thing, and the officer shook his head, got back in his car and left. Dumbfounded about what just happened, I sat there for 15 minutes wondering if I should leave, after which I left with my heart pounding and wondering if he was hiding somewhere and was really going to pull me over. I made it all the way home without incident. I was also 22 at the time.

 

About the same age, and definitely the same situation... except I got your ticket, apparently.

I think he was pretty ticked off about the whole coffee thing. I had a campus cop give me grief on my bicycle last year. First thing he did was spill his hot coffee in his lap while trying to get his lights on and truck running. He wasn't too happy when he finally pulled up to me - but this was another case of me stopping and waiting for him. And there wasn't a hell of a lot he could do unless he wanted to shoot me right there, so he just told me to slow the F down, and then proceeded to mop up the mess. I kinda WANTED a speeding ticket on my bike.