2007 Touring - Engine won't turn on, hybrid battery drained, and OBD linking error.

One thing is certain, you will need to charge the HV battery before trying to do anything else.

The dash part of that might indicate you have a problem with the combination meter (CM). This is not an unusual problem and is usually caused by a failed capacitor on the CM.

 

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Start by checking the 12v battery health, and recharge as needed.

As @dolj mentioned above, you'll also need to charge up the HV battery at some point, use a DIY "grid charger", or a retail version of such.

When was the last time the inverter coolant pump was replaced?

 

What observations led to this conclusion?

 

Step 1 is to ensure the 12v battery is charged adequately for troubleshooting. Your symptoms of :

because it'll flash all the drive indicator lights (park, neutral, drive, etc) and gas level meter.

are common indicators of the 12v battery being extremely weak/discharged.

If the 12v gets disconnected (or lost) while the car is on, (iirc) the power source ecu will remember that, and the car will stay on when the battery (12v) is reconnected. You need to get the 12v situation sorted out, then go through a normal shutdown procedure, then it should be back to normal.

Then start looking at why the car failed to run.

 

Usually, when you find yourself wondering that, you can go to Recent Posts and look for how recently somebody bumped the "This website is going ballistic" thread.

When the server is acting up, often people try to post something, and get errors or timeouts, and aren't sure it really posted, and retry (and sometimes retry and retry).

Happened to me a few times before I got wise to it, and now after an error or timeout I'll usually check the thread in another tab to see if the post showed up, and only retry if it didn't. But not everybody does that.