Addicted to Glide

Just got back from my Glide Anonymous meeting and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with this problem. You know that feeling as you ease off the pedal and suddenly you're launched into an almost unworldly state as a rush of freedom pulses through your body. You morph into the superhero for the 21st century - Eco Man, complete with organic cotton, petroleum free and pectorially enhanced driving suit (available in 3 earth colors on Amazon). You just lost your job and the bank is foreclosing on the house, yet you can't hold back the ecstatic grin on your face as you roll down your window and scream into the surrounding gridlock a resounding YES!

I couln't keep my eyes off the screen, and at first I ignored the problem as my kids kept yelling "watch where you're going, dad". The car's front bumper absorbed most of the impact when I ran into other cars, and the misfortunate seniors in that crosswalk I considered collateral damage, but the problem soon grew to become life-threatening. It's now a federal law that anyone traveling below the speed limit in the carpool lane can be shot. To make things worse, I of course refused to drive over 40 miles an hour - because you know what happens when you go over 41. You can forget gliding completely and you might as well hand over your next paycheck to those thieving Saudi sheiks. I'm thinking of moving to Denver so I can glide most anywhere. The GA meetings seem to be helping.