April 1st 2008 jokes

got this on LotusTalk.com

(from Lotus Press Release) Lotus announces first Elise-based pickup.

Lotus Cars is delighted to announce that its first light commercial vehicle rolls off the production line today.

The Lotus Elise 'Load Lugga' is an Elise-derived flatbed that seeks to secure a slice of the ever-growing worldwide market for sportscar-derived pickup trucks.

Utilising a Briggs and Stratton pull-start diesel engine, uniquely supercharged by Lotus's own engineers, the Elise 'Load Lugga' is the first Lotus to marry advanced 4-wheel drive technology with the Lotus design philosophy of 'performance through lightweight'. A useful 5kg payload, together with an optional towing hitch offering a further 10kg of load-hauling capacity, ensures the new Lotus will be equally at home carrying a small bag of sugar as an expanded polystyrene surfboard.

With carbon fibre roof rails and perforated aluminium bull bars ensuring the new Elise derivative looks the part without compromising performance, hopes are high that 0-60mph acceleration is less than 3 seconds, and will have flatbed fans reaching for their chequebooks.

An active payload management system, linked to the engine's oil pressure control module, optimises ride and handling round even the sharpest bend, while big chunky tyres increase ground clearance to an all-terrain-conquering 4 inches.

Trevor Houghton-Berry, Lotus Head of Commercial Operations looked to the future 'The Elise 'Load Lugga' is our first move into the lucrative LCV market and certainly lives up to the Lotus philosophy of 'change the rules'.

We like trucking and we like to truck!'

Mark O'Shaughnessy, Lotus USA Sales and Marketing Director commented, 'We can no longer ignore Lotus's big opportunity in the pickup market - we want a slice of the action and are gunning for a 0.0026% market share this year and 0.0027% next. The Elise 'Load Lugga' will be known as the F1.50 stateside and we are set to take the market by storm. 200 Lotus Elise F1.50's in the first year? Bring them on.........'

-enjoy

 

^april fools^ :typing:

 

Wow. I hope that's an April 1st joke. If it isn't, then I'm really sorry to hear that.

 

My favorite April fool’s joke occurred about 25 years ago on a coworker. He was the proud new owner of an Oldsmobile Omega. This car should have been painted yellow it was such a lemon. It was in the shop more than it was on the road.

This junk box was back in the shop for the umpteenth time on April 1st and one of my coworkers decided to have a bit of fun at John’s expense. He asked a friend to impersonate the Service Manager at the dealership:

"John, I have you on my schedule to fix your car today. What time do you plan on dropping it off?"

John: "I dropped it off this morning!"

“Service Managerâ€: Oh, OK, I must have missed it earlier.


The “Service Manager†calls back and asks, “What part of the lot did you park it in?

John gives the “Service Manager†directions to where he parked it…

The “Service Manager†called back a while later and asks, “are you sure that you brought it here? Have you been to our facility before?â€

John had brought his month-old car in for service three times already to fix problems and now he was getting pretty hot under the collar. He gave the “Service Manager†detailed instructions where he parked his $#!+ wagon again.

The “Service Manager†calls back for the last time. “John we found your car. It’s on a transport to Fargo, ND. If we’re lucky, we can get it back in about a week to begin repairs.â€

At this point John starts shouting into the phone. I don’t know what he said because I was laughing so hard. At this point he was told it was an April fool’s joke. He vowed revenge, but never came up with anything.

John traded in the Omega less than two years later after learning a valuable lesson about buying cars from an unreliable manufacturer – he got a Chevy S-10 pickup!

 

you can say "april fool's" now, force. eek, i hope that's a joke.

 

Maybe he has no computer access until he gets home....having been supervised as he packed up his desk and escorted to the door by the I.T. police.

 

I got nearly everyone in my office by giving them fake phone messages. I told them:
"Please call Mr. Behr, 555-4242." The phone number is the local zoo.

17 people, every single one of them, made the call. Some even came back noting that there was no Mr. Behr at the zoo, asking if I was sure I gave them the right number. I told them he lives there...then it hit them.
You can also use Mr. Lyon.

 

The town of Ely, MN is almost on the Canadian boarder. This is what they put up on their web site today, don't know if it will be there after today, but be sure to check out the radio spots.
Ely, MN Chamber Of Commerce - Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness Outfitting, Lodging, Shopping, and Dining

 

That's great! Hehehehee
I vacationed in Ely, once.

 

I think YouTube wins the Best Prank today.

 

So you won't know whether you actually are fired until you go in tomorrow....and find out you really are out of the job.

 

Well, I say if Canada offers them a really good price, they should take it. Might be worth it just for the healthcare. They do have a ways to go to equal Mankato, MN.

 

my nieces played a prank in school (elementary), putting PAM on the ladies room toilet seats

got caught

2day recess detention

its funny til somebody gets hurt

LOL

 

How true, we do our grocery shopping in Mankato, my wife's diabetes specialist is at the Mayo branch there, and (durm roll please), our Prius dealer is in Mankato.

 

:rofl:
It could have been far worse, they might have used super glue.

 

Good one, Sam! I like it. Somebody tried to get me to phone a Mr. J Daniels, but I looked up the number of the local liquor store before calling. Nice try.