Canada to build fence along border

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ May 30 2006, 10:00 AM) [snapback]262712[/snapback]</div>

Funny!

A CBC report stated that the Canadian Parliament is debating what to do with the 11 million American workers now in Canada. They are providing cheap labor for the Canadian workforce and are used mainly in the Curling industry. Some members of Parliament want to grant them amnesty and others want to make them guest workers with the goal of becoming Canadian citizens. Since this is not an election year for the Canadian Parliament, nothing will be done for now. In the meantime, construction of the fence will continue.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ May 30 2006, 11:00 AM) [snapback]262712[/snapback]</div>

In an announcement by the US State Department, the United States expressed deep regret at the obvious xenophobia exhibited by our norther brother. It is obvious that Canadas superior social systems should be able to handle the influx of immigrants seeking a better life and those willing to do work that Canadians won't do - which encompasses a large pool of available positions. It is also obvious they should be granted amnesty and immediate citizenship even though that would make them the largest voting bloc in Canada. Additionally, the influx of people who believe in God might benefit a society that is obviously adrift spiritually - one that finds more truth in government than G-d.

With regards to the Canadian health care system, or what is left of it, the new batch of immigrants can do what the average Canadian citizen does - go south for modern health care or die young. These immigrants do not threaten the Canadian way of life unless you believe that people who think fighting for something they believe in is a bad thing. Additionally, Canadian Armed Forces could use a few good men and women who are not affraid to make a commitment to country (and G-d).

And lastly, Canada would benefit tremendously from 11 million new tax payers to help support the Canadian way of life - with a tax rate of 70% "you guys need all the help you can get". And we would be remiss if we did not mention who would build the wall - obviously if Canadians themselves can't or won't?

The United States awaits the Canadian response, realizing that if the wall is built than American and other foreign based companies that use Canada as a base for production to sell in the US will probably have to move their bases of operation since Canadians themselves do not purchase enough goods to adequately keep them busy. We also look forward to Canada actually having to spend some money on its own national defense - the Canadian way of life in that regards is less than exemplary.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ May 30 2006, 01:33 PM) [snapback]262864[/snapback]</div>

Fresh from CNN:

Mexico has decided to welcome all 11 million American illegal immigrants that entered Canada, thus making them Mexican citizens. The Curling Industry of Canada (CIC) is disappointed by this news. Now all 11 million can go North once again into America to pick vegetables, clean hotel rooms, and work in the dry wall industry. Says Bill Richardson, ex-American, ex-Canadian illegal immigrant, new Mexican citizen "I sure will miss making Curling thingies, not really sure what you call them after all. I can't wait to pick strawberries for 2 cents a berry. At least I'll be warmer. Damn, with all this talk about Global Warming, Canada sure is COLD!".

In a related report, the US House of Representatives is now considering a bill to deal with the 22 million illegal immigrants in the US. Members of the Senate have traveled North to offer to buy the Canadian fence and put it along the Southern border.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(dbermanmd @ May 30 2006, 02:59 PM) [snapback]262882[/snapback]</div>

If I may say something serious in a thread that was obviously satirical, I have many Canadian friends and colleagues. Every one of them laughs at the myth of Canadians coming across the border for health care.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(dbermanmd @ May 30 2006, 02:59 PM) [snapback]262882[/snapback]</div>

Obviously a jab at Canada's refusal to go along with the invasion of Iraq; of course, so did most of the rest of the world, and they were right.
When I was an officer in the Navy, I served alongside Canadian forces in a number of NATO exercises. Canadian troops have fought alongside us in a number of wars. Once again, your little slur is not only offensive, but not even based on reality.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(eyeguy13 @ May 30 2006, 03:17 PM) [snapback]262894[/snapback]</div>

Fresh from CNN:

There are now doubts as to the 11 million illegal immigrant, excuse me - undocumented worker - figure. Based on historical analysis of immigration patterns and overall population there apparently is doubt as to the accuracy of the number based on the following data:

1. The net flow of people across the US-Canadian border over the past 50 years has been towards the United States and out of Canada. Canada has had a "negative" immigration figure for as long as these statistics have been kept - this includes quadrapeds too.

2. Canada, forced by a lack of funds, has been using the abacus for tallying the flow of people and as you might not be aware, they are not capable of handling calculations past the seventh digit - at least in Canadian hands.

3. Although these alleged immigrants might be poor and uneducated, there is now enough reasonable doubt that on average they are smart enough to know what they are getting into by heading north and few scientists doubt the statistical probabilities that enough of them would be functioning on such a low level to make such an obviously poor decision.

4. During the entire past 40 years including the Vietnam and Iraq War(s), Canada was able to attract a few draft dogdgers and no other Americans - there is little reason to believe that in times of relative peace that many Americans would have crossed the Canadian border without the same reason the draft dodgers did. And those that did - well we certainly wish Canada well taking care of those that are there - we are certain they make Canada proud - we wonder if they will fight for you if you are attacked -- let us know because you are now own your own and can no longer count on American Armed Forces to do for you what you are unwilling to do for yourselves.

5. There is doubt as to whether 11 million illegal aliens could be accepted by the French speaking Canadians - or more appropriately - French speaking French citizens who happen to inhabit certain parts of North America and want to succeed from the English speaking parts of North America located north of the United States border.



<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(larkinmj @ May 30 2006, 03:28 PM) [snapback]262899[/snapback]</div>

Take a deep breath and relax Sir. You may need a little more shore leave - just a joke here. Stay in line with the posting please. This is just a little fun started by our stallwart northern neighbors who i adore and appreciate their current political pro-US attitudes.

Again, I honor your service - it might be best to mention it when it is more appropriate - not serving in the US armed forces does not diminish my words or beliefs any more than it strengthens yours.

And your conclusions above are premature at best and as a former member of the armed forces you should appreciate how inappropriate they are so early in the conflict - especially on the heels of Memorial Day.

 

Got to admit, don't where all the arrogance comes from on both sides of the border.

The fact is that my company alone has hired Canadian scientists who could not find work in Canada where 17% of the population lives below the poverty line (vs. 12 % for the US including illegals). The Canadians we've hired (and my family members in Canada) say the Canadian heathcare system is great if you are younger and relatively healthy. But if you're old say 70+ and in poor health or need a sophisticated operation, head south and pay or die on the waiting list.

 

Couldn't our southern neighbours make rasta pasta instead? Oh, we're shipping that elsewhere, too? Never mind.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ May 30 2006, 04:46 PM) [snapback]262963[/snapback]</div>

Isn't it possible to make pasta from switchgrass?

 

I think it's a good idea. Otherwise we might have American Buffalo going up and cross-breeding with Canadian Mooses. That's an ugly thought.

 

Fresh from CNN:

The Curling Industry of Canada (CIC) and the Pasta Organization of Ontario Providence (POOP) have formed an unlikely union. Says Pierre LaGretzky, head of POOP, "We recognize the importance of curling and pasta to Canada. If we lose our 11 million American immigrants, we can no longer make those curling thingies, even we don't know what you call them, and our per capita consumption of pasta will drop significantly. Those Americans sure can put away the pasta! So, we have decided to start making those curling thingies, damn, I wish I knew what you call those, out of frozen pasta."

Representatives from the Mexican government and from the Tortilla Initiative of Tiajuana (TIT), repeated again an hour ago that the American immigrants are more than welcome in Mexico.

Representatives from the Canadian Parliament were unavailable for comment. Meanwhile, construction on the fence continues...

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(dbermanmd @ May 30 2006, 01:59 PM) [snapback]262882[/snapback]</div>

Here you go again, more bullshit you made up and borrowed from other neocon nuts. Explain why infant mortality is lower - and overall lifespan and healthy living higher - in Canada despite spending a fraction on universal health care:

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0004393.html

Oh, and if the U.S. is such a great country to get medical care, why the hell are your senior citizens trying to get their prescription meds from Canada? If you're sick and old, you sure as hell don't want to depend on Medicare Part B.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(dbermanmd @ May 30 2006, 01:59 PM) [snapback]262882[/snapback]</div>

We actually have folks here who make deep commitments to the Canadian Armed Forces. Has your crack pipe developed a leak?

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(dbermanmd @ May 30 2006, 01:59 PM) [snapback]262882[/snapback]</div>

GEE-zus you are full of shit! I moved from Utah and there is minimal difference in my tax rate.

http://www.knv.com/Publications/IndGraph2005.pdf

When you factor federal, state/provincial, sales taxes, school taxes, health care premiums (Does not apply to Canada), "local improvement" premiums (Does not apply to Canada) - then the rates become much closer

Corporate tax rates are even closer, sometimes to the point of being in the favor of Canada. It wasn't the exchange rate that encouraged Toyota, Ford, GM, etc to build cars in Canada.

Either research the facts or get bent.

 

Yessss! dbermanmd has roused the irascible and fiery jayman from his hobby farm tranquility, as well as the congenial hyo silver from his, um, opium den!

Shades of 1812! Re-convert that shopping mall back into Fort Ticonderoga! Spray the White House with fire retardant! Er, never mind, skip that last one...

dbermanmd, as a member of the medical/piracy class, you are expected to report at once to your man o' war on Lake Champlain! You will proceed north and travel overland to Montreal, there to engage the hated French! Do not neglect to fill your pack with fresh garlic, else you will dissolve into helplessness the first time a Frog unleashes his breath on you!

And Tempus: I have had a fine-looking moosalo, bred in Canada, grazing in my back yard for nine years now, as an energy-saving measure...

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ May 30 2006, 11:00 AM) [snapback]262712[/snapback]</div>

As far as I know the length of the Southern Canada/US Border is 8,891 kilometres or 5,525 miles.

Do you know which sections they are going to leave open?

Does this mean they aren't going to fence off Alaska?



<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ghostofjk @ May 30 2006, 07:28 PM) [snapback]263051[/snapback]</div>

I'm glad to know what to call them. I figured it was either a Muffalo or a Boose.

Maybe you can answer some questions for me now that my curiosity is aroused.

Does it matter which is the mother and which is the father, like a Mule and Hinny?

Are they fertile?

Do they speak French or English?

Do they get annoyed if you laugh at them?

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ May 30 2006, 08:00 AM) [snapback]262712[/snapback]</div>

Pastafarianism has no Commandments! Only the eight I'd Really Rather You Didn't's. Read the book for crying out loud!!! And please stop misrepresenting a religion you apparently know nothing about.