Help me pass an important law!

I need your help. Please help me pass an important law. I was just on my way to the convenience store to buy a package of soynuts, when I stopped to talk to a burning bush, which revealed to me that a terrible plague is threatening our nation:

People are marrying other people who have the same eye color!

People with black or brown eyes are marrying other people with black or brown eyes, and people with green or blue eyes are marrying other people with green or blue eyes. This must stop!

Please write to your legislators and insist on a constitutional amendment that people with black or brown eyes may only marry people with green or blue eyes, and people with green or blue eyes may only marry people with black or brown eyes.

Help us save the institution of marriage and American family values by rooting out this horrid scourge.

- This message brought to you by the Church of Nobodaddyaloft and paid for by People Against Same-Eye-Color Love.

Thank you.

 

Half the fat of peanuts and they taste almost as good. Yum.

 

Carob tastes like s***t. It resembles chocolate in nothing but color, and even that is only a passing resemblance, if you don't look too closely.

Soynuts really are good. Especially the hickory-smoke-flavored ones.

Are you telling me you are in favor of same-eye-color marriages? Do you realize this could lead down the slippery slope to people eating their children and refusing to say the Pledge to the Flag???

 

Here's the ingredient list from a package of Gen Soy Zesty Barbeque Soy Nuts:

IP roasted soybeans, seasonings (salt, fructose, dehydrated tomato, natural flavors, dehydrated onion and garlic, torula yeast, natural color (paprika and annato), dried molasses, citric acid, autolyzed yeast extract), organic expeller pressed canola oil.

"Natural flavors" looks a bit suspicious, or why wouldn't they be specific? But seems unlikely to put it in the same caegory as pork rinds.

Ethylene glycol is not listed.

In short, this stuff is healthier than store-bought bread (take a look at the ingredient list on that!) or just about anything else in the store.

The only way to really eat healthy is to grow and prepare all your own food. I have grown a big garden (1/4 acre) and it's a LOT of work. I eat a lot of stuff I shouldn't, but these soynuts are about the most benign thing in my cupbord. And they really do taste good.

"IP" = Identity Preserved, i.e., they are not genetically modified.

I agree with your rule: "if you can't pronounce it, don't eat it."

And some Bushes that are NOT burning ought to be hosed down. But that's a whole 'nuther topic.