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How do you deal with the loss of a pet?

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by livelychick, Mar 10, 2007.

  1. livelychick

    livelychick Missin' My Prius

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    So, it was a very bad day for me. Long story short, I am now less one kitty than I was yesterday, leaving me with one cat and my two dogs. Ikie--the one who died--was so gorgeous and sweet, loved hanging with my big dog, slept with me at night, and didn't die happily. I feel wretched. My Ikie (asleep on my couch a few years ago) :
    [attachmentid=6841]

    For any of you who have lost a pet (especially unexpectedly), how did you deal with it?
     

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  2. Michgal007

    Michgal007 Senior Member

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    I am so sorry to hear about your kitty. I have lost multiple cats and dogs (and three chickens!) ... life goes on... about a year ago, our two yr old dog Kelee was hit by a vehicle and died.. I wasn't there and haven't been home since (Sri Lanka), but I feel the pain.

    What you will never lose are your memories with your kitty.
     
  3. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    I cried a lot. I only had the one cat. He had been my constant and only companion for 15 years. Since then, my lifestyle has made it impossible to have another. (Too much travel.)

    I am sorry for your loss.
     
  4. jkash

    jkash Member

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    For many of us, losing a pet is losing a member of the family. We had a cat disappear one day a few years ago. We had nursed her from a very frightened stray to a very loving cat. My wife and her had a very close bond. In the year after Sundae was gone, we adopted three cats from Siamese Rescue. That is how we dealt with the loss.

    With any loss, it takes time, but the pain will subside and fond memories will remain.
     
  5. Loveit

    Loveit New Member

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    Sorry to hear of your loss Livelychick.

    Like Daniel, I cried a lot.

    I went through the loss of a a beagle named Barney. We never got another pet after that but that was just my family.

    Some folks need time to grieve.

    Some folks will want to adopt another pet.

    Some folks might not want to adopt another pet or can't for personal reasons.

    But all those things are okay to do. There may be other options too.

    If you want to have a service, go for it.

    So do that which is right and comfortable for your and your family.

    Again, I am sorry for your loss.
     
  6. livelychick

    livelychick Missin' My Prius

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    Thanks for all of your kind words and wishes.

    I've had a few sobbing moments, but it's hard to do when you've got a three year old just around the corner. I hear him coming and have to wipe away the tears...

    After he goes to bed tonight, I'll probably be a mess. Oh well--I've got a nice Bordeaux I've been saving for a few years...maybe it'll be good to toast him tonight.
     
  7. pjm877

    pjm877 Member

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    It is hard... you cry, you remember the very best of times.

    Two years ago I had to take my 16+ year old Mini Dachshund out of a bad illness... Her Kidneys failed... and nothing I did was helping... I asked the Doc when do you know... I want to give here every chance... in your heart you know it was for the best.

    It just rips at your heart,, but you move on... again remembering the good times when they just knew you had a bad day... and licked, or purred, or the "Cat Rub" on the face that trying to say... it's not that bad... I am here for you... IT JUST TAKES TIME..

    Just know this we at the PC are here for you...
     
  8. Trevor

    Trevor Member

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    Sorry to hear about your pet. I have never known how to cope with the loss of a pet and usually end up deciding not to get another. But then I guess I just follow the old adage, "Time heals all wounds". The happiness that I get from having pets always makes me get another one.
     
  9. Chuck.

    Chuck. Former Honda Enzyte Driver

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    This would devestate me too.

    Got a weakness for orange cats

    This is my boss cat

    [​IMG]


    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Way up high,
    There's a land that I heard of
    Once in a lullaby.
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Skies are blue,
    And the dreams that you dare to dream
    Really do come true.

    Someday I'll wish upon a star
    And wake up where the clouds are far
    Behind me.
    Where troubles melt like lemon drops
    Away above the chimney tops
    That's where you'll find me.

    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Bluebirds fly.
    Birds fly over the rainbow.
    Why then, oh why can't I?
     
  10. Dan-Wolfe

    Dan-Wolfe Member

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    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We all deal with things in our own way, really. When my cat, Wahlberg, had to be put down some years ago, I was devastated, especially since he was my fav, and I had to make the decision. Like may others, I cried all the way home, and still about ten years later, have moments when I feel profoundly sad.

    For me, I added his picture to my computer desktop along with two other pets who met untimely demises in our care -- BJ, a cockatiel who was killed by another bird in our flock, and Joey, a yellow-naped amazon we had rescued. The photos remind me of times with the critters when things were good, and it also makes sure that they'll never be forgotten.

    You see the avatar on my account? It's Gizmo, who has stolen my heart and frankly, has me wrapped around his little toe. lol... Time will make your loss bearable, but it will never separate you from the memories you made together.

    Dan
     
  11. jimmyrose

    jimmyrose Member

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. Cry, without inhibition. Remember, with all your heart.
    We lost our dog of almost 16 years going on 4 years now. He went very quickly, over a holiday weekend; the only saving grace was that my kids were with my ex that day. My wife and I were complete, useless messes for several days.
    Time helps, because sometimes now when I look at his picture, I smile from the memories of what a wonderful character he was, instead of welling up with the memory of the life leaving him.
     
  12. galaxee

    galaxee mostly benevolent

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    aww, i'm so sorry... your kitty reminds me of my tiger.

    we lost him quite unexpectedly too, my mom and stepdad were on vacation and i had come home from college to spend a couple nights in town. no warning whatsoever, his heart gave out on him and despite rushing him to the emergency vet it was too late. i had to call over to the hotel to share the bad news and my mom was no help. i didn't expect her to be anyway...

    i cried it out, and i'm not one to cry much. having someone to talk to helps. DH lived across the state from me then, so when i went back to school i leaned on a close friend a few doors down in the dorm. she had also lost pets so we talked in depth about them and shared memories.

    i think the important thing to do is remember the happy times. i did not want to see an orange cat for months afterward though, it was too painful. a year later i dug up a video with him in it and got all teary eyed, but it made me happy to see him.

    i hope you are able to find a little comfort in memories.
     
  13. AuntBee

    AuntBee New Member

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    Livelychick, I would like to add my condolences too. When my pet cat of 17 years passed away, I felt as though I had lost a member of my family (she truly was part of my family). She was my only indoor pet and the house felt so empty without her. One month later little Jasper magically appeared in my life and made himself at home. But I still miss her and think of her seven years later and smile.

    You're in my prayers.

    Bonnie
     
  14. eclectcmoi

    eclectcmoi Muffinologist

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    livelychick I am so very sorry for your loss. How do you deal? You cry. Buckets if you feel like it. And if your 3 year old sees, it's okay. Mommies have sad times too.

    I had a orange fluffy boy that looked very much like your Ikie. Having to make the decision to put him to sleep when he was 20 years old was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I took him myself and held him so that he would go to sleep with my touch as he'd done countless times before. For a time afterwards, I would hear his odd thump, thump walk he'd developed because of his arthritic hips. Your Ikie will still be with you too.

    Again... I am very, very sorry and deeply feel your loss.
     
  15. aaf709

    aaf709 Ravenpaw of ThunderClan

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    I cry and so does my wife. :(

    My wife has worked at vet clinics for over 14 years and she's brought home several "broken" (blind, diabetic), found on the road or unwanted cats. I've witnessed several euthanations, even holding the cat during the process (they were there for me, so I wanted to be there for them). It doesn't get easier.

    For those that have lived a long life I remember a line from Barbara Libby's book Old Cat:

    "Remember our stories when fur and bones and tail of me are gone. Share them with some young new mouser, who'll need to learn where blue jays live, where rabbits hide...who'll share your couch and bowls of milk, who'll be your friend...although maybe not as good a friend as I."

    Fortunately, showing emotion for the loss of a pet is NOT considered wrong and there are several books available to help you though your loss.

    Heck, our Prius was named "Blue Belle" in honor of our cat Silver Belle (who was euthanized a week after we got the car).
     
  16. Sufferin' Prius Envy

    Sufferin' Prius Envy Platinum Member

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    Slowly you will come to accept a 'new normal' . . . but you will never forget Ikie. :(

    Your feelings of sadness and loss proves you transformed an animal into a loving pet by providing it a good home and life.
    If you didn't feel a loss, I would have felt sorry for the cat.
    I bet, if given the chance, he would have said, “thank you for everything.â€
     
  17. TJandGENESIS

    TJandGENESIS Are We Having Fun Yet?

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Mar 10 2007, 08:15 PM) [snapback]403516[/snapback]</div>
    You cry. You moan. You lose sleep.

    At least I have. I lost my dog Marillion and cried for a day...and when my cat Data died, same thing. When my dog Aslan died, she got hit by a truck, and for some reason, while that was sad, it was not the same as when Marillion and Data died. They both died after being sick, and younger then they should have, IMHO.

    Now I have dB and Echo, (dB being the Beagle dog, and Echo being the cat), and I am glad I have them, but I have to admit, after Marillion and Data's passing, I thought I would never do that again...and yet here I am.

    I will keep you in my thoughts. Sorry for the loss. Not sure if I helped, but I wanted you to know you are not alone.
     
  18. Godiva

    Godiva AmeriKan Citizen

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    It's very difficult. You grieve for the loss of a pet the same way you grieve for the loss of a person. And everyone grieves in their own way.

    When I lost Caesar I cried a lot. I couldn't watch Animal Planet for months.

    I built a memory garden. There is a spot outside my dining room window that is a kind of a bay window. He used to like to lay under that window. So that became Caesar's garden. I cleared it out and planted various white flowers and bulbs that would bloom in the spring. (He died Nov. 13. shortly after Veteran's Day.) I put in a statue of St. Francis and hung his collar around St. Francis' neck. There is a memorial stone with his name and a saying carved into it. I found someone on the internet that carved natural river stones. I planted a little flowering tree called "sweet memory". I put in baby tears and sprinkled alysum. I added some stepping stones and a little garden stool.

    I made a photo album with all his pictures.

    I almost lost him to parvo when he was 13 weeks. After that I took lots of pictures and made a baby album and scrapbook. I'm so glad I did. I spent a lot of time looking through his books and crying some more.

    And I cried a lot.

    I visited a lot of sites on the internet about grieving for pets. I found my feelings were not unusual or isolated.

    I can talk about him now. I couldn't before.

    I still cry occasionally.

    Every year around Veteran's Day I remember him and mourn again.

    I have another dog now who I love. But Caesar will always be my "forever dog".

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Godiva

    Godiva AmeriKan Citizen

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    Pet loss poems

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor.
    Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers.
    Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
    The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    Author unknown...
     
  20. livelychick

    livelychick Missin' My Prius

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Godiva @ Mar 11 2007, 03:27 AM) [snapback]403705[/snapback]</div>
    This is an amazing idea. I just feel like I've gotta DO something, and this is something that I can do. I've got a perfect spot for it, as well.

    Thank you so much for this idea...all of ya'll's thoughts are sincerely appreciated.