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In Memoriam to my Dad

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by onerpm, May 11, 2006.

  1. onerpm

    onerpm New Member

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    Well, my dad passed away last weekend at age 78. He was diagnosed just after last Christmas with a large brain tumor, a couple of days after returning from a cruise with a headache. My wife and son and I were in FL waiting for his return at the time. What twists life takes. He was healthy as a horse otherwise; that first night in the hospital after his diagnosis was his first night ever in a hospital. Non-smoker (OK, cigars); non-drinker; trim, athletic; dancer. Adored by everyone that knew him... particularly the women.

    Our bosses let us work from Pop's home, so instead of returning to Minnesota, we got to spend the last 4 months with him, right up until his last breath, taken in his home. Hospice of Naples was wonderful, as all Hospice organizations seem to be. Pop's comment on diagnosis was "well, I hope I make it." He had no interest in further medical advice or intervention. As he faded over the months, he never made a single complaint or negative comment about anything.

    He bought a package 0 trac Pruis, a 2004, in Nov. 2003 and loved that car like no other. He converted many a soul to the hybrid way, including me. In 8/04, while he was visiting me in MN, I found a new 2004 with NAV that I planned to buy, but he was so enamored with the NAV, smart key, and voice commands that I had to let him take that silver beauty back to FL with him. (I kept his pkg. 0 and traded it in on the next silver w/NAV that came along, a few months later.) Now, my brother will be taking that car back to LA to own, and when we return to MN after the service later this month, my wife's new black 2006 will be waiting for her at the dealership. Thrii Prii!

    I was very, very close to my dad. He was smart, funny, generous, and self-effacing. Aside from my side jobs and loans, he basically paid my way through private college and law school on the salary of a public school principal. I still don't know how he did that. A lifetime Democrat, he moved toward the Republican party as he grew older. He even voted for Bush in 2000, but was adamantly against the war in Iraq, and frequently wrote to the Naples paper castigating Bush for his moves.

    I miss him dearly.

    http://obits.naplesnews.com/index.cfm?fuse...ewobit&ID=44263

    Rob Manning
     
  2. efusco

    efusco Moderator Emeritus
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    My sincere condolences. I've had several friends and my mother-in-law die in recent months and the pain is just indescribable. You've got about 14k shoulders to lean on here if you want them, but it's usually a journey each of us take alone.
     
  3. barbaram

    barbaram Active Member

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    Adding my prayers and sympathy. Your Dad sounds like he was a reallly great man!
     
  4. Catskillguy

    Catskillguy New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(onerpm @ May 11 2006, 09:38 PM) [snapback]253844[/snapback]</div>

    Your words were thoughtful and touching... I hope I can have the same grace when the time comes for my Dad.
     
  5. Mystery Squid

    Mystery Squid Junior Member

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    Damn... I'm sorry to hear... :( Sounds like he lived a really good and full life though, again my condolences... :(
     
  6. Schmika

    Schmika New Member

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    My condolences. I hope you cherish the memories you are left with and I hope they bring you comfort.
     
  7. ghostofjk

    ghostofjk New Member

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    Rob,

    I'm sorry for the loss of your dad. He at least had a long and illustrious life. He was more than "well-rounded": a wrestler who authored a book, and a man who was in a position to have a positive impact on race relations, and who lived to be one of the first to buy a revolutionary car. You must be proud!

    You're so fortunate to have had a close relationship with him, painful as it is now. Many never have that.

    And it sounds as if the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
     
  8. Wildkow

    Wildkow New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(onerpm @ May 11 2006, 06:38 PM) [snapback]253844[/snapback]</div>
    :( Our prayers and thoughts with you and yours. Did he post on priuschat?

    Wildkow
     
  9. galaxee

    galaxee mostly benevolent

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    so sorry to hear :(

    it sounds like your fond memories of him are keeping his legacy alive. i'm sure he would be proud to read the sentimental words you have posted here.
     
  10. Salsawonder

    Salsawonder New Member

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    Sounds like your dad did a good job while here on this earth. It was such a fortunate experience that you did have at the end with him. Support from Hospice services and great bosses like yours can make a difficult orderal more bearable. Your memories and stories of him are the best testamonies to a life well lived.
     
  11. Sufferin' Prius Envy

    Sufferin' Prius Envy Platinum Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(onerpm @ May 11 2006, 06:38 PM) [snapback]253844[/snapback]</div>
    They weren't called the Greatest Generation for nothing. :(
    At 78 he may have just missed serving in World War 2 (?), but I'm sure growing up in that era had an immense impact on the way he wished to live the rest of his life. Sounds like he did it right. My condolences.


    On the lighter side:
    Boy was he smart . . .
    Joined the Navy.
    Moved toward the Republican party as he grew older.
    Bought a Prius.
    . . . Kind of sounds like me . . . except for the advanced degrees, career, and family stuff. :lol:
     
  12. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    My condolences.

    Fear no more the heat o' the sun,
    Nor the furious winter's rages;
    Thou thy worldly task hast done,
    Home art gone, and ta'en thy wages;
    Golden lads and girls all must,
    As chimney-sweepers, come to dust.

    Fear no more the frown o' the great;
    Thou art past the tyrant's stroke:
    Care no more to clothe and eat;
    To thee the reed is as the oak:
    The sceptre, learning, physic, must
    All follow this, and come to dust.

    Fear no more the lightning-flash,
    Nor the all-dreaded thunder-stone;
    Fear not slander, censure rash;
    Thou hast finished joy and moan;
    All lovers young, all lovers must
    Consign to thee, and come to dust.

    No exorciser harm thee!
    Nor no witchcraft charm thee!
    Ghost unlaid forbear thee!
    Nothing ill come near thee!
    Quiet consummation have;
    And renownéd be thy grave!

    -- William Shakespeare
     
  13. onerpm

    onerpm New Member

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    thanks so much for all of your warm words. it was nice to read them.

    my dad didn't post here, but his Prius file had printouts of posts I'd email him: how to reset the maint. req'd light, kill the reverse beep, etc. He missed WWII; enlisted the week he turned 18, but that was 2/1946. So, he spent two years racing motor scooters in Gitmo, and dancing with Cuban ladies in Havana. I was really hoping we'd relax our ineffective travel restriction so that my dad could visit there once again.

    Now my brother drives pop's prius; I drive mine; and, this Saturday, my wife joins the crowd of hot chicks in black prii when she picks up her '06. Now that's paternal influence!

    rpm

    oh, and Jared2, my dad loved this one (please forgive any misquoting):

    oh what a gift the giftie gie' us,
    to see ourselves as others see us.

    (Burns? I do not know)

    then there was one he always tried to remember, but could only get a few lines:

    if I had a boy, I'd say to him, "son,"
    "be fair and be square in the race you must run.
    be meek if you win, and brave if you lose,"
    .....(I'll have to google this sometime)

    rob
     
  14. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(onerpm @ May 25 2006, 01:44 PM) [snapback]260947[/snapback]</div>
    You're very welcome. Is this the poem he loved?

    To a Louse, On Seeing One On A Lady's Bonnet, At Church


    Ha! whaur ye gaun, ye crowlin ferlie?
    Your impudence protects you sairly;
    I canna say but ye strunt rarely,
    Owre gauze and lace;
    Tho', faith! I fear ye dine but sparely
    On sic a place.


    Ye ugly, creepin, blastit wonner,
    Detested, shunn'd by saunt an' sinner,
    How daur ye set your fit upon her-
    Sae fine a lady?
    Gae somewhere else and seek your dinner
    On some poor body.


    Swith! in some beggar's haffet squattle;
    There ye may creep, and sprawl, and sprattle,
    Wi' ither kindred, jumping cattle,
    In shoals and nations;
    Whaur horn nor bane ne'er daur unsettle
    Your thick plantations.


    Now haud you there, ye're out o' sight,
    Below the fatt'rels, snug and tight;
    Na, faith ye yet! ye'll no be right,
    Till ye've got on it-
    The verra tapmost, tow'rin height
    O' Miss' bonnet.


    My sooth! right bauld ye set your nose out,
    As plump an' grey as ony groset:
    O for some rank, mercurial rozet,
    Or fell, red smeddum,
    I'd gie you sic a hearty dose o't,
    Wad dress your droddum.


    I wad na been surpris'd to spy
    You on an auld wife's flainen toy;
    Or aiblins some bit dubbie boy,
    On's wyliecoat;
    But Miss' fine Lunardi! fye!
    How daur ye do't?


    O Jeany, dinna toss your head,
    An' set your beauties a' abread!
    Ye little ken what cursed speed
    The blastie's makin:
    Thae winks an' finger-ends, I dread,
    Are notice takin.


    O wad some Power the giftie gie us
    To see oursels as ithers see us!
    It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
    An' foolish notion:
    What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
    An' ev'n devotion!

    Robert Burns

    I will try to find the other reference.
     
  15. aaf709

    aaf709 Ravenpaw of ThunderClan

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    Our prayers are with you and your family. :( My father's in his 80s, but I know his time will come all too quickly.
     
  16. dbermanmd

    dbermanmd New Member

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    I am so sorry about your fathers passing.

    We all make that journey through life, it is what we do with the days we are given that define us. It is obvious that your fathers journey was both long and most importantly successful. I believe we are measured in largest part by our children and by that definition your father had a most wonderful life as evidenced by your post.

    I wish you the fondest memories of your father, and hope that you are comforted by the fact that you carry with you the qualities of a fine man, ones whose life was undoubtedly filled with love and happiness and respect from those around him.

    You were truly lucky and honored to be able to call this man your father - and I am sure he felt loved and honored by being able to call you son.

    David Berman, MD
     
  17. hycamguy07

    hycamguy07 New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(efusco @ May 11 2006, 09:48 PM) [snapback]253851[/snapback]</div>
    My sister in-law just had a baby last week :)
    The our 93 yr old grandmother passed away last friday.

    efusco~ your saying is sooo true after morning with freinds & family, for healing time: it's usually a journey each of us take alone.
     
  18. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    Condolences.
     
  19. fshagan

    fshagan Senior Member

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    Thanks for sharing your memories with us. Your dad's obituary tells us a lot about him, but I think your post tells us so much more. It sounds like your father's memory will live on with all of you, and that's a good thing.