Is it selfish to not want more kids?

No, I don't know why you'd think that. I'm at 2, and have no desire for more. 3 kids don't fit too well in a Prius!

I actually think it is selfish to have more than 3 kids. World population is pretty full allready, if not overpopulated. Having 10+ kids is downright irresponsible/selfish. I think the child tax credit should only apply to kids 1-3.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with stopping at two, or not having kids at all if that's your preference. Some people have 12 kids, but we know what causes that now, and birth control is widely available.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hyo silver @ May 21 2007, 01:44 PM) [snapback]446760[/snapback]</div>

Not having cable television??

 

If you're stopping at 2 so that you can afford to buy those two more 'stuff', then put the credit card back in the wallet and have 2 more kids.

Raise 4 kids who have fun just being a family rather than 2 kids competing for some bigger bucket of junk from toys-r-us and you'll all 6 be happier through the years.

 

It is not "selfish" to have only 2 children, and it is not selfish to have NO children.


This is a personal decision, that involves lots of issues beside money. I raised brothers and sisters - I want no children. And I really enjoy being around children a good bit.

If one cannot afford children, it is very selfish to keep having them, especially out of some guilt issue. 2 can be plenty.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hyo silver @ May 21 2007, 10:44 AM) [snapback]446760[/snapback]</div>

Isn't that a slightly condescending attitude? :mellow:

[cue Alicia Silverstone voice] AS IF [/voice] they don't know where babies come from after, oh, lets say, four or five. <_<

 

As others said, the choice is entirely up to you... And it really isn't selfish either way you go.

I have to agree with daron a bit here, in general kids shouldn't be handed everything they want on a silver platter... But i also think that conversation belongs in a different topic (something concerning parenting instead of conception ).

Do whatever you feel will bring you, your wife, and your family the most joy and good times, both in the short and the long run.

 

You model long-term responsibility by having two or less children. At 6.6 billion people (300 million in the US) we are overwhelming the Earth. It is not globally sustainable to have more than two children, both short- and long-term.

 

No that being responsible.

 

Depending on your financial class and abilities, it's more important to raise a couple of children well than many kids badly. In my social circle one gains more respect and admiration by quality child rearing than quantity. In my personal opinion, it's more important to raise a family of love and respect than for a trail of many beings who hate you. This is not a time to play the odds. Better for your only two kids to worship you than to have 2 out of 6 kids worship you and 4 to hold you in lifelong contempt. Some would have the attitude that regarding love 2=2 so whats the diff, but I say there's a qualitative difference between 0 hating you than 4 hating you. When you die isn't it more important that your kids dance AT your wake rather than ON your grave?

 

look around you when you're in traffic. Do you really want to add to that? Look around you when standing in line for anything. Sure it's a personal choice. Please don't complain about the crowded cities, crowded roadways, expensive items produced from a finite, dwindling source (oil) because of demand. It IS selfish to make the overpopulated earth support more than it can handle just so you can feel better. YMMV...

 

Chris,

I think that you are being responsible. There are a lot of factors to take into account when you have kids and their futures. Years ago children could follow in their parents footsteps, like farming or woodworking. Now kids need to go to college and I know that I can't afford to send any more kids then my son to college.

 

we only want two for that exact reason. i fail to see how it is selfish. now, having six and not being able to afford it time or money-wise, but that's how many you wanted... THAT seems selfish to me.

btw, congrats on the soon-to-arrive new family member

 

It is strictly your personal decision. We had two sons who we are extremely proud of. Our doctor told us to stop. Now we have seven grand children who we love dearly. Our family went 78 years without a girl until our oldest son and his wife had our grand daughter. My mom was the last until Mandy. Boy was she happy.

It is sad to say but finances might have a bearing on future children. The costs associtated with raising kids now days in mind boggling. Our oldest son will have his four in college at one time next year. He is paying all expenses. If it was up to him he would have had more.

When I was growing up my best friends brother was killed in an accident at age 16. His mother told me that she wishes that she would have had more children. She had three.

Make your own decision I am sure that it will be the right one.

 

Back in the 60's there was a book call ZERO POPULATION GROWTH, it put forth the concept that having more than 2 children was one of the worlds biggest problems. While one could argue that case from both sides, I would like to see the book put back in print. Many people have children for the wrong reasons. This includes preasure from parents, friends, and society in general. Have children only if you want them, and to the person who started this thread, STOP.

 

Wow! You really generated a multitude of responses with this question! My opinion is shared by many it seems and yet my wife and I took a different approach. We adopted one child, thereby not contributing to the population issue and giving a child a wonderful home who might otherwise not have one. Its not that we didn't want biological children, it was more when it didn't happen naturally we took a more logical route rather then going through unnatural medical measures just to conceive a child.

You could make the argument of the connection from having your own biological child and all, but we love our daugther as much as if she was our own flesh and blood and wouldn't change our decision on parenting for the world. Living where we do made our decision even more logical. We live in a heavily Amish and Mennonite area where people have no concept on population control and families of 10-15 are common. In this size children end up raising children and I feel this is irresponsible especially when they use 'God's Will' as their excuse for the family size. We all abide by the same laws of nature, some of us just think more logically then others.

Ultimately as others have said it is a very personal decision. I feel that if you love children, can properly care and provide for them and are prepared to make suffcient time to be involved in their life then you know your limits and can make intelligent decisions on how many is right for you. But I'm still confused where this number 2 comes from? Why not one....someone you can devote all of your attention to, not have to deal with sibling rivalries and better still let them know they are the most important thing in your life. With one you don't need to juggle schdules, divide your time or plan and time things so everyone can be involved. I'm not against multiple child families mind you, just curious why 2 always seems to be people's response to the number of children they would like to have...

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Darken @ May 21 2007, 03:21 PM) [snapback]446829[/snapback]</div>

When we got married a lot of couples wanted a gentleman's family, a boy and a girl. Back in those days you could not choose.

 

As previously stated, this is a very personal decision. My personal decision was to have no more than two. Life is fluid, nothing remains the same. Things can change rapidly or slowly, for good or for bad (usually both, hopefully more good than bad). I had one friend who was dead set against bringing any children into the world for political and environmental reasons. That worked for him, but if everyone thought this way, bye-bye human race. This is clearly one end of the extreme.

Just a few things to think about (that few people in your position want to):
Loss of employment - downsizing, etc. (obviously more children = more expense)
Divorce (probably the furthest thing from your mind at this time, but the statistics are sobering)
Extra-curricular activities - let's just limit it to sports - what happens when you have multiple kids playing multiple sports - I have two, both skilled enough to be in traveling soccer leagues; their games, since they are of different ages/genders - can be in towns 75 miles apart at the same game time - we can divide and conquer - more than two kids and someone is carpooling and you're missing at least one of your kids' games...I know parents with 4 kids who do nothing more than shuttle their kids from one activity to another. The parents are stressed, the kids are stressed, there's no "quality time"...