It is Official: Haggard Now "Completely Heterosexual"

Thank God he got this straightened out.

 

Speaking of homosexual issues:

"They may perform on the Sabbath all things that are needful for circumcision: excision, tearing, sucking the penis, and putting thereon a bandage and cumin. If this had not been pounded up on the eve of the Sabbath a man may chew it with his teeth and then apply it."

Shabbath 19:2
The Mishnah "

 

Is he joining that new Crystal Methodist Church?

 

Boy, that was quick. I'm glad he is normal now. Can he go back to scaming...sorry...collecting money from people so they can be saved. I bet Bush called him to congradulate him also!!!

I wonder why he picked Missouri to move to. Maybe because it it the show me state.

A three week cure...are they also working on a cancer cure?

 

He was thinking about moving to Philadelphia, PA (the city of brotherly love) until he'd found out that it'd been renamed (the city that loves you back).

Love the 'cure' angle...always nice to pathologize something like sexual preference.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Beryl Octet @ Feb 6 2007, 02:31 PM) [snapback]386340[/snapback]</div>

Wow, just what we need, a crystal meth church.

Haggard=poser! Who is stupider, the ministers who believe such nonsense or his congregation? Imagine! A 3 week 'cure' and no one would have to be subject to gay bashing ever again. Suckers. I think Haggard should start a class action lawsuit against God for handing him such humiliation. He'll be a nervous wreck in a year for denying his god-given impulses.

 

Can someone tell me how this works? Does the "gay" just go away, or does it "jump" to another person like in the movie "Fallen" with Denzel Washington? If so, will wrapping aluminum foil on one's head prevent the "gay" from entering like in the movie "Signs" with Mel Gibson?

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ZenCruiser @ Feb 6 2007, 07:04 PM) [snapback]386401[/snapback]</div>

I think, actually, it's a scorpion-like creature which enters your brain through your ear, a la 'The Wrath of Khan' then exits the body through the stomach, like in the first 'Alien.'

Gosh, come to think of it, wasn't Khan wearing a jacket made of Corinthian Leather?
[laughing]

 

Who would have known?


GBLIT Jewish Community

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mystery Squid @ Feb 6 2007, 08:20 PM) [snapback]386452[/snapback]</div>

We are EVERYWHERE. We define hetero fashion and we *bash back.*

Do you like the more confrontational Pinto Girl?
[smile]

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pinto Girl @ Feb 6 2007, 10:58 PM) [snapback]386480[/snapback]</div>

Yeah, bobr1 (bless his poor soul) used to ejaculate that 90% of all counties in the US had a gay family somewhere, and thereby 2nd grade school books depicting homosexuality in a normal setting was totally acceptable, YET (and here's where the irrational angst ridden gayness expresses itself) lackthereof would SURELY, 100% proof positive, lead to bigotry, intolerance, and general gay lychings by no later than 9th grade, or age 18, whichever comes first.

...as for fashion, perhaps, but conversations with my representatives of the gay community place the blame for Abercrombie and Fitch, solely on us hetero's....

h34r:

btw, I can't HELP but wonder what Isrameri's true feelings are on one section of that website titled:

"Torah Queeries" :lol:

 

He's cured? Like a Ham gets cured? With salt then?

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pinto Girl @ Feb 6 2007, 04:56 PM) [snapback]386313[/snapback]</div>

The only thing he's getting straightened are his future secret members' members.

What's really scary is that there droves of people out there who believe it's true. And you wonder why a dumbass like Gdumbass can get elected.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(burritos @ Feb 6 2007, 10:03 PM) [snapback]386518[/snapback]</div>

Agreed. As I said, it's amusing how the right pathologizes sexual preference and then frames 'deviant' forms of it as 'cured.'

I'm wondering, though, if it wouldn't be a good idea to have an *independant* certification process?

Perhaps we could get some hot gay guys to strip tease in front of him...if he doesn't get a stiffie, then he's really a breeder.


<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mystery Squid @ Feb 6 2007, 09:07 PM) [snapback]386491[/snapback]</div>

Yeh, and the whitey-white Northern Europeans, to be specific.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Pinto Girl @ Feb 7 2007, 06:18 PM) [snapback]386646[/snapback]</div>

It'll probably be like Dennis Quaid's character in Far From Heaven. He'll get counseling to cure him of his, um, deviant urges for a while and then he'll be caught in a gay bar somewhere and then it's back to counseling unless he finally admits to himself that he likes guys more than the church.

 

I didn't read the article, so I'm just guessing here, but this looks like one of those "I did therapy" things intended primarily to reform his image, not his actions. Isn't there an actor from "Grey's Anatomy" doing the same thing for a slur against a homosexual cast member?

Assuming he likes sex with his wife still, or did once, he probably isn't gay, but is bi-sexual, multi-sexual or whatever you want to call it. That would make it easier for him to continue to enjoy sex while also avoiding the extra-marital variety that is not acceptable to a church congregation. So it may "take" and be touted as "successful", even though his basic orientation hasn't changed.