Keep an eye on your computer friendly teenager

Some people just shouldn't be parents.

 

Okay, but a bit of reality has to be brought to the idea of monitoring what kids do all the time. You may lock down that computer in your home/office but what about the one down the street at their friend's house? However, what you can do is provide them with a set of values that they can use to protect themselves. Just keep in mind that the values they adopt for themselves may not always agree with your values. Times change, they grow and they are not you.

By the way, this tendancy to disclose information is not just limited to your teenage children. A number of years ago a university group created a computer program that would respond to a person's keyboard input. No, it was not intelligent computing. In fact it would response with a limited set of fairly incongruous statements, e.g., "is that so", "how do you feel about that", "tell me more". This was tested in a university setting with university students and professors allowed to "play the game." The group that was doing the study was astonished at the openness that people exhibited and the level of very personal information they disclosed to "the computer." The feeling of anonymity triggers something in humans. In Japan a person is expected to behave in a strict way. However, when the person becomes anonymous their behavior can change drastically. It's one of the reasons why women are often groped when riding crowded subway cars in Japan. It's one of the reasons that if it is late at night and you meet a Japanese that is drunk he might become aggressive. They have become anonymous and therefore many of the social restrictions disappear. (It's also one of the reasons that the exchange of business cards has such significance in Japan. You are no longer anonymous and therefore must be treated in a different manner.)

Disclosing very personal information is basic human nature and the only way you can guard against it is by insuring that a person understands the impact of what they are doing and that they may not be quite as anonymous as they think they are. Understanding comes from values and values are transferred by example and by open and frank discussion with your teenager, not by restrictions.

Just my opinion.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(mehrenst @ Apr 5 2006, 12:05 PM) [snapback]235328[/snapback]</div>

I completely agree with this. As a member of myspace, I see a lot of very disturbing things... a lot of young girls with very slutty pics of themselves in their profiles. I have to wonder if the parents are parentlng at all. Sure it's impossible to know what your kids are up to every second of every day, but are you telling me the parents have no clue at all that their young daughters are dressing and behaving like little whores in training? I think not. The clues are there and oftentimes aren't even all that subtle. Parents on the whole are scared of parenting anymore.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TonyPSchaefer @ Apr 5 2006, 12:43 PM) [snapback]235359[/snapback]</div>

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TonyPSchaefer @ Apr 5 2006, 10:02 AM) [snapback]235326[/snapback]</div>

If a parent is going to give there chilled access to a tool like the internet they have to educate them on how to use it in a safe manner. If the parent does not understand the tool than they need to educate themselves on it before they turn it over to the kids.

There are many dangerous things a chilled can get into on the internet but it is also an amazing wealth of inspiration and information. TV has very few redeeming qualities. There is no substitute for parental guidance weather it is a TV or a computer.

And I would never allow a chilled to have his own computer connected to the internet that is not in a family space.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(darelldd @ Apr 5 2006, 12:26 AM) [snapback]235160[/snapback]</div>

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TonyPSchaefer @ Apr 5 2006, 10:02 AM) [snapback]235326[/snapback]</div>

well put.

I wil admit that i do spend too much time in front of the pc.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TonyPSchaefer @ Apr 5 2006, 02:43 PM) [snapback]235359[/snapback]</div>

lol :lol:

I think the better solution is to get the parents more involved with their kids... whats the point of having a kid if you can't raise them properly (and don't say tax credit, thats the reason people get the prius )?

 

There have already been some documentaries about myspace dot com. I'm not sure what is worse: the kids who have no life whatsoever and feel a need to "belong" or the pervert adults who join to sniff out the kids.

Best advice has already been given here: there is NO WAY a child should be allowed unsupervised access. Just too dangerous, plenty of perverts out there.

 

I fall into the camp that thinks that this is a parenting issue, because it comes down to how STUPID kids are when they have stupid parents. I was one of the first 'online' kids - I was on bulletin board systems back in the days before the internet, and I was in chat rooms back when they called them teleconferences, and I made friends all over on the door games. I met a handful of people I knew online, always at public places like town council meetings or the library. I wouldn't even CONSIDER putting my address or real phone number (or school schedule and list of fears) on a public internet site. My mom didn't know enough to tell me not to, she just raised me with more common sense than that.