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Men superior to women?

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by Schmika, Jan 7, 2006.

  1. Schmika

    Schmika New Member

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    This is a long post. It is my 500th. I think once you start to read...you will have a hard time not wanting to finish.

    All of us, whether we are willing to admit it or not, have what I call “cultural theoriesâ€. Unlike prejudices, which are usually narrow in scope and live in our sub-conscious, or values, which can be simple or complex but govern the behaviors and interactions with others, cultural theories are a culmination of our life’s experiences which we hold and help us to explain others behaviors. We use these cultural theories to help us plan our social interactions.

    Cultural theories can be, but are not necessarily, shaped by our prejudices. People who use only prejudices to develop their cultural theories can usually be described as bigots, homophobes, sexist, etc., etc. This is because they developed these theories early on and never exposed them to the light of day.

    A quick example would be something from early in my life. When I reached Junior H.S. I had come from a white neighborhood when there as no busing. I don’t think I “met†a black person until Junior High. I had a friend whose mother was Japanese and father was white, but that as the extent of my minority circle. I was fortunate in that my parents did not speak of race in a negative way. I was ambivalent about race.

    I was at an assembly in the Gymnasium and I suddenly found myself alone and surrounded by three blacks who told me I was in their seats. They called me honky and generally acted very threateningly toward me.

    I was frightened the rest of the day and quickly decided blacks were “bad†people. When I told my parents about it, they chalked it up to just generic ‘bad†people and did not reinforce my growing prejudice against black people. As time marched on, I met other blacks who did not behave this way and never became what many would define as “racistâ€. I allowed my early cultural theory about blacks to “see†the truth and adapt over time.

    The cultural theory I want to speak about here is one that, again, began in high school and I have spent 30 years developing. I have used this theory in my marriage and with raising my children. While I have tweaked it here and there, it has basically stayed the same. The cultural theory can basically stated as follows: Females are inherently superior to males in what really counts but the vast majority of them are socialized in the western world to become inferior, and this is the important part, ALL THE WHILE BELIEVING THEY ARE ACHIEVING EQUALITY WITH MALES.

    Basic laws of this theory:

    Men do what women allow-

    It is biologically hardwired into humans to mate. Men desire to mate with as many women as possible and women desire to find a suitable male to raise a family with. Throughout history, men were “wild’ until women civilized them and settled them down. When a man found a woman he liked, he began to “court†her and behaved in a manner to “win†her. If he did things to displease her, she was able to convey her displeasure and get him back on track. Once married, if he started to behave badly, she could find a way to make him get back on track.

    Women dropped DOWN to the man’s level.

    Because women were the “civilizers†of the wild man, now that women desired and fought for ‘equality†with man, they are ill-equipped to live in the “real†male world. This male world is violent and uncivilized. There was a time when it was “wrong†to hit a woman. This went beyond the general prohibition against violence. Women were put on a pedestal by society. Men might “fight†over a woman but the woman was above it all.

    Young boys were taught to treat girls better. Girls were taught how to “manipulate†boys in a complex mating ritual.

    Sometime around WWII, the gradual change began. Outspoken feminist groups defined the superiority of women SOLELY on earning power (money) and political power. ALL the other attributes of women were tossed out. Slowly, women bought into this until critical mass was reached in the late 60’s and 70’s. It is now an unstoppable force and our culture has embraced this idea.

    The results are devastating. Men no longer need to court or commit to woman and family because, hey, why should they? If a man doesn’t get what he wants from his woman, he can just get another. Women no longer believe in family. If someone takes their man, they will just find another woman and take her man.

    Skip the man altogether…create a family without one. Violence against women has increased tremendously. Woman on woman violence is escalating. In my job (police) I have noted a tremendous increase in girls fighting, with weapons, against each other, for GUYS.

    I treat my wife with the theory that she is too good for me and I am lucky to have her. I taught my daughters to demand that their boyfriends treat them like queens. The boy is to pay for the dates, to pick her up and drive…if he doesn’t have the money to do this or to get a car…find a more responsible boy OR wait until he can. I told them to test their patience and, if they hang on, they could be a good pick. I make it rough on my daughter’s boyfriends. My theory?..if they keep trying..they really care.

    I taught my son to respect women. I taught him to open doors, do the heavy lifting, and put up with them changing their minds. I taught him to do everything he can to make her happy. I taught him to pick a girl who will respect the things that he CAN do better. Basically, the man let’s the woman do what she can if she wants, but he is RESPONSIBLE to be the breadwinner and the major worker around the house. In other words, she CAN haul out the trash but he HAS TO if she doesn’t.

    Are there exceptions to this? Yes, but, so far, I have only seen exceptions that prove the rule.

    Ladies, the men are NOT going to fix this. Men have very little incentive to fix it. Most of the advantages are to the men. This is a problem that can ONLY be fixed by the “fairer sexâ€. Men are too ‘stupid†to see that this issue is causing them problems. Boys are falling farther and farther behind. Boys are growing up fatherless. Ladies, you are running out of a supply of good men as mates and more and more of you are having to settle with poor specimens and spending a lot of time trying to ‘fix†them.

    This was my effort, going back to the beginning of this tome, to continue to expose my cultural theory to the light of day. I welcome any and all feedback.
     
  2. zapranoth

    zapranoth New Member

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    I don't quite know where to start shooting...

    Someone else can do it.

    :blink:
     
  3. Florida Prius

    Florida Prius New Member

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    WOW! 500 posts? Holy crap!

    OK. Know what? I was raised with the values Schmika extols here. And while I don't agree with everything here, the idea seems logical to me. There's a reason why Mothers Day is so popular....... If you miss it, you're in a heap-o-trouble.......
     
  4. Salsawonder

    Salsawonder New Member

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    I believe that as in your early experience with African Americans, you can not put all women or all men into one group.

    I am a single parent. I am not religious but I am spiritual. I am thankful for a beautiful sunrise and I try to treat others with respect. My daughter is well adjusted. She put herself through school and is well loved by all who meet her. I had a part in that because I taught her when she was young to appreciate life. We read and played together. Because I was a nurse and made fairly good money I had time to be with my child and involved.

    People these days have lost accountability. We can be nasty to each other on the freeway cause we may never see that person face to face. We are busy making money to buy the "things" that fill our houses and clog or minds. We allow our children to spend more and more time in front of the TV, Video and Games fill their days. Games that depict violence, death, rape. In America nearly every show is about murder, war yet the censors have a cow if there is two people making love on the screen.

    The only way our society can improve is by localizing our communities. By being involved in those we pass. How many of us know what the circumstances of that person sleeping in the park every night are?? How many individuals are involved with charities or non-profit organizations.

    Women are, as a rule, less likely to settle these days, at least the educated ones. I am alone by choice but I am not lonely. I have many friends and activities. Intimacy is nice but I am not willing to give up my self confidence and self respect for it.
     
  5. Schmika

    Schmika New Member

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    Salsawonder, speaking about cultures naturally prohibits using one persons anecdotal evidence. You may be an exception. I am speaking of the "general" group.

    Zapranoth...not fair...if you disagree....spell it out!!!
     
  6. Jack 06

    Jack 06 New Member

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    1. Schmika, you're a brave guy, a masochist, or both. But you knew that. :lol:

    2. My favorite subject; been developing my own construct since I turned 15. So you'll have at least my company on this, if no one else's. But between us, one or the other will be construed as so outrageous that, like malorn, responses will be provoked.

    3. I think I know "where you're coming from", based on previous posts you've made, especially on the ID thread. That does NOT mean I reject all of what you say out of hand because I think you're a religious nut. You've put some thought into it, and I agree with parts of your PREMISE and parts of your CONCLUSION.

    4. Some of your construct seems identical or similar to that of the "Promise Keepers", which I'm sure you're aware of. That's why I excerpted the chunk that I did: I'll start at the end and work back, disagreeing first that "men [alone] are not going to fix this" and that the burden is more on women. That's too easy. I think anything that needs fixing will be done MUTUALLY, if not "equally". Heh.

    I'll stop there for a bit to see if others are going to bite.
     
  7. Salsawonder

    Salsawonder New Member

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    I agree with Jack that fixing must be a mutual thing. I really believe that we (collective females) have gotten ourselves into a bit of a bind. We have given up expecting men to treat us well. And although I certainly do not want to be on a pedestal I do want to be respected. I want an equal.

    I believe that it is OK for a guy to open a door for a woman and to help me change my tire (although I can do it myself). And I think it is OK for the woman to pay for dinner and work on the car, if she is good at it.

    Religion and education are two of the most defining factors in our lives. It can be either/or and it can be both of these things that cause a person to develope in any specific mind set. Can we fix things if there are so many who do not have either of these in their lives??
     
  8. Godiva

    Godiva AmeriKan Citizen

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    Uh.

    Okay. To be honest I do think I am superior to some men; some women too.

    Why is it men go to Home Depot knowing they're going to buy fence boards and instead of planning ahead and bringing work gloves (like I do) instead they wince, grunt and pick splinters out of their bare hands while they're choosing boards?

    I have an above average IQ. I have a high school diploma, bachelors degree and masters degree and two teaching credentials. I'm working on a third credential and second masters degree. So I think I can justify feeling a little superior to a few people. Especially if they're behaving stupid or rude.

    There are some areas in which I feel women are superior.

    Because of our physiology women can tolerate pain better then men. We are also better at multi-tasking.

    In the early days of anesthesiology, a lot of men would go under the knife and stay there. Turns out men breath deeper than women and were being given too much ether.

    Men climb ladders better. It's the construction of the pelvis/hips. However, the very thing that makes it difficult for women to climb ladders and stairs gives us that lovely swing when we walk.

    I do agree that our society has spent a lot of time and worked very hard to make women an inferior social class. Witness how long it took for women to attain the right to vote. And I would like to insert a short rant now regarding the title to my house. The papers that were mailed to me were addressed to XXX, A SINGLE WOMAN. Gee, thank you so very much for announcing to everyone that a single woman lives in this house. I'll bet any amount you like that if Joe Blow had bought a house the title wouldn't say "Joe Blow, a single man".

    I've also thought that if aliens came down from outer space to study us they might think that men and women were totally different species living in a symbiotic relationship.

    And there really is no answer to this post.
     
  9. Salsawonder

    Salsawonder New Member

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    I think you have it there. We are never going to be the same and we are barely making it living together. I love Home Depot!! Got to get out of here though cause the weather in SD is incredible!!
     
  10. GreenMachine

    GreenMachine New Member

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    I believe that the widespread availability of effective birth control was a major factor for the change in women's socio-economic status. You need to work that in there somewhere.

    Also, I assume you are thinking of western societies, specifically the USA? Much of your thinking does not hold up in Islam society, for example.

    You write very logically, clearly and effectlvely. It is a pleasure to read such a well written post.
     
  11. bigdaddy

    bigdaddy Member

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    I've always thought about it this way. Say all the smart people (IQ above 100 for arguments sake) decided to wipe out the dumb people. *Poof*. Half of the folks gone. The remaining folks that it was a good idea and they do it again. and again. and again.. I'd make it a few rounds, and then I'd be gone. Then I imagine that IQ wasn't the measure but something else was (strength, color, wealth, skills need for certain century, etc.). Sometimes I get wiped out immediately, sometimes I make it longer. Then I go to sleep.
     
  12. QED

    QED New Member

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    I got through the first 2 paragraphs. Yep, don't have to come back and read this one anymore!
     
  13. hawkjm73

    hawkjm73 New Member

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    Actally, the deed to the property my husband and I just bought refers to the seller as "John Doe, a single man." So at least in Maricopa County, Arizona, men and women are equal on county documents.

    (Not really John Doe, but I didn't figure it nice to put somebodys name on a forum without permission.)
     
  14. TonyPSchaefer

    TonyPSchaefer Your Friendly Moderator
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    Schmika, I read your post and I have to say that I agree: That is one very long post.
     
  15. Mystery Squid

    Mystery Squid Junior Member

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    One word:

    Liberalism



    I see it this way:

    Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses in various areas regardless of race, color, creed, sex, sexual orientation, etc. Simple as that.
     
  16. Jack 06

    Jack 06 New Member

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    Depends on where the education comes from. Religion is unreliable on this score; many religions believe women are unequal/inferior to men in more than one way, including holding high church positions. Some actively promote that women should be subservient to men (e.g., Mormons, several stripes of Baptists, Catholics to some degree).

    So if there's no religion, where does the education come from? Public schools? (Home ec? Health?) If not there, where?
     
  17. Jack 06

    Jack 06 New Member

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    Yeah, there is, at least this relatively casual observation: My wife and daughters are Asian, thin-hipped, with relatively thin butts. They don't have any "lovely swing".

    I think you should examine where you get your images of beauty. Sounds like an adaptation of men's sexism.
     
  18. Jack 06

    Jack 06 New Member

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    Liberalism? Bulls**t. All smart people, liberals and conservative alike would agree with the follow-up statement.

    Conservatives TEND to believe in universal equality LESS, but I won't tar them with that generalization. (See: most churches---not hotbeds of liberalism---most Southern Republicans, Phyllis Schlafly and the right-wing female wackos, Ann Coulter...want more? :) )
     
  19. Jack 06

    Jack 06 New Member

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    Outstanding, bigdaddy. A wonderful model of awareness.
     
  20. zapranoth

    zapranoth New Member

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    I just couldn't summarize my reaction concisely.

    Look, I disagree because I just do not buy that one gender is better than another. In my belief system we're all equal. Not all equally talented, etc but all deserving of the same human dignity.

    Putting women on a pedestal is a certain form of... bah. It's a certain sort of damage.

    Your post draws sweeping and simplistic generalizations that arise from questionable underpinnings. You just cannot prove that women ever were the "civilizers" of men. You can't really get people to agree what "civilizing" someone even consists of, I dare say. You make it sound as though all men are doomed to pussywhipped-dom, to make it short and crass. I do not buy it.

    Feminism changed much, but it didn't get everyone, or even most everyone, to "throw out" the attributes of women. God! How can you even profess to define the terms you're using here?

    All human beings need someone. It goes both ways, complicatedly, but not more men more than women, or vice versa. Not in the aggregate. You can find individual persons who fit your theory, but on the whole, you can't prove or disprove your theory.

    Fundamentally, though, I just don't buy it.

    I mean you no disrespect, and I hope you believe that. You're a police officer? Do you realize exactly how that biases you (or at least, how it has seemed to bias most police officers I've ever met?) I'm a doctor, and believe me that biases me in ways I have yet to figure out. Are you generalizing about humanity from the worst cut of it?

    I don't know what else to say. Your theory is horrible, and very, very wrong.