My Old Girlfriend wants me back

So, I used to date this girl. She ate a lot, was overall kind of big and dirty, dare I say fat? She was loud, and crude, but hey, she put out. Worst of all, she was kind of dumb, and kind of rude. She had all the right parts in all the right places, but she just wasn't sophisticated. I put up with her for a while, and then, met a new girl. She is lean, she is clean, she is younger, someone I could see having with me in the future. She is also much sexier. She puts out as well. A quality woman overall. I even get compliments on her. People notice her body and remark about how good she looks. And when I'm riding her, well, it's shear pleasure to feel her perform. She doesn't eat much, which keeps the bills down too. She also loves to go places, and it's easy to get her going anytime I want. She knows where I like to go, and helps me along the way. She even takes my calls, and opens up for me when I touch her. I had to marry this girl.

So I did. And I'm happy! I must say, I enjoy spending time with her, I have no regrets. Some guys really like fat girls, and tell me she's no better than the girl I used to date, because she has fat sisters. I tell them I don't really care, I've moved on, and I'm happy.

My old girlfriend's father realized that he was now stuck with his daughter and couldn't get her out of the house. So he called me, and we had a heart to heart about what I liked about my current wife versus my old girlfriend. I told him there was something fundamentally wrong with the way he raises his daughters. It's not her fault, it's bad upbringing. He was a little bitter, but he acted like he understood. He gave his daughter a stern talking to, and she lost a few pounds, and checked out a couple of books at the library (trying to become more sophisticated, I guess).

Then, she came to my door. "Take me back," she said. "I'm much more appealing now. I'll behave this time, really. And I really don't eat so much anymore. And I've learned a few things! Sure, I'm still fat, and I didn't get a degree in engineering, but don't you miss me?"

She even said, "Hey, you know, I'm the kind of girl that will go anywhere and do anything, and I'm kind of crazy and hard to control. I'm way more fun than that lean woman you have now!"

I replied, "But when you were with me, mostly you just ate a lot and took a lot of space. You promised me lots of fun, but you just didn't deliver."

Her father also called and said I would be disloyal to the community if I didn't take her back. (He needs to get rid of her pretty bad).

So, what do you guys think, do I ditch the wife I love for the ex that I never really liked that much in the first place?

Or do I stay happily married?

Nate

 

(It's a metaphor people. Read it again).

Nate

 

There is a limit to how much money I want to part with, and how complicated it can get if you have both...

Nate

 

My wife typically wears a sky blue, skintight, to show off her curves. She has big bright eyes, and makes little noises that only I understand.

Okay, I'll stop now.

I honestly don't know if it's an allegory, a metaphor or an analogy. Anybody know?

Nate