Ok... I'm not sober... but...

When you know that you love someone... And you know in your heart you wished you had met them first... What do you say, when since you have known them, when they tell you in one way or another, that you haven't been all of the man that they needed.

Does it mean you aren't successful at being a man...

 

Re: Ok... I'm sober now... but...

Where I was trying to go with this was:

Well... my family calls me a prick... they mean it in a good way I have been told... but since I really do not dwell on what others think of me as a driving force for whatever I am doing... I haven't, very often, taken the time to consider what others may think of what I am doing... even those I am close too.


For example... my frau is the woman I wish I met first... she truly is a most wonderous person, and I have believed through these years that she was happy with who I was, and I didn't think I was much of a problem in her mind... nor did I contemplate I wasn't the picture of a man to her when she was thinking about a man.

As time continues, I have had more time to spend with her lately, and she alluded to a point that while I am successful, loyal, earnest, curteous, compassionate, passionate and honest... I ain't all that pretty to look at... and she would have liked to have George Clooney if she could get a do-over.



I agree, I ain't no Clooney, but does that make me less of a man if your woman thinks she should have had something more than just you and more like a Clooney... and how the hell is a fella supposed to do that and be a man himself...



I mean... he was already on her "possible to 'DO HIM' list" just as Eva Mendez is on mine... but I don't think of my frau as any less of a woman when compared to Eva... and I wouldn't have wanted to have a do-over just to get Eva either, I mean, in real life Eva is apparently a real handful, doesn't treat her partners well and doesn't want to be in a monogamous relationship... I do... I prefer it that way because I guess I am wired that way internally... my frau agreed I was wired that way, sorta like a toaster...



It was a bit of a hard swallow to realize I was being compared to a toaster and not as a successful man.

 

Ok... but...

She was twice...

I met the last one of em, before I ever knew of Susan years ago... a Fireman... local fella, which I knew from inspections of our business... he did hit on the girl we had at the counter (he also called to our business to talk to her several times, but she didn't want to date a firemen)... I believe that was during her marriage to him when that occurred...


Small world indeed.

That may be part of the problem... she takes an amount now that would kill a first-time user... the liver is an amazing organ...


Also I should add... I'm not complaining...


I hear toasters don't either.

 

Re: Ok... but...

It is very true the drugs take away a lot from life, but they have also allowed me more time to be with her...

I was just sorta floored by the comment... not really hurt, more like... dumbfounded... I didn't want to reply to the comment, and haven't to her, it could only lead to more revelations that I probably could live without knowing right now.

 

Re: Ok... I'm sober now... but...

I don't believe I was asking a question then Bra...


But I was getting something, that was for sure... which is still OK... she is her own woman, and I have never tried to quite her from her opinions or observations, in fact, I am a more successful man because of her... I just wasn't really expecting what I heard, and had a moment when I put those thoughts in here.


When I picture her, I always remember the time we went to NYC during the holidays and how wonderful the winter season was when we were walking through the city... or when she won thousands of dollars at the casino... or when we were standing in the rose garden at the Capitol with her in my arms kissing by the fountain... or when I watched her singing (she is a quite talented vocalist as well)...