Proof of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Having nothing better to do at 4:00 a.m., and being unable to get back to sleep, I present the following abstract of the mathematical proof, on pages 132 and 133 of The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster that the creator of the universe was the FSM and no other god:

There must be a creator, as the universe is too complex to have arisen by chance.

Because humans have free will, not even the creator can know the ultimate outcome of creation.

Any being that would create a universe for his own pleasure is an egotistical maniac, who would want things done exactly his own way, but due to the uncertainty implied by the above proposition, this implies that he must have made it as rapidly as possible.

A being with more appendages can affect more points simultaneously, and a Flying Spaghetti Monster has more appendages than a god in human likeness.

Therefore the creator of the universe must have been a Flying Spaghetti Monster.

NOTE: Since it would be a violation of copyright laws to quote the exact text of the book, I have provided here only a brief abstract of the proof. For the proof itself, see the aforementioned book, which may be available in your public library. If not, you can request it through your inter-library loan. It's also available on-line and in bookstores.

This absolute and uncontrovertable mathematical proof should lay to rest once and for all any disputes over which god is the creator of the universe. In the spirit of welcoming, openness, and tolerance for which he is revered world-wide, the Flying Spaghetti Monster welcomes all people, regardless of their prior faith, into his church. Now that the truth is established, and we are all Pastafarians, let's have a beer and a big group cyber hug.