SCIENTISTS PROVE THAT LIFE ON EARTH WAS CREATED BY A FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER

daniel · Jun 15, 2006

When you begin to learn a bit about how cells actually work, at the chemical level, two things become abundantly clear:

1. That this is all so amazingly complex and intricately wonderful, that it could not have just happened all by itself. It must have been intentionally designed by somebody.

2. That it is all so mind-bogglingly cluttered with mistakes that whoever created us either was a blundering idiot, or else really didn't care all that much whether he got it right or not.

Living things function, up to a point: Some percentage of them (different for different species) manage to survive long enough to reproduce, but the things that go wrong at the chemical level betray the most slovenly imaginable standards of design engineering. It could and should have been done differently if the creator was interested in anything more than reproduction followed by decay.

Now, consider the Christian god: He's all-powerful, all-knowing, everywhere-present, and loves us so much he had his own son killed so he wouldn't have to send us all to hell. It's just simply obvious that if we were created by someone who was all-powerful and loved us that much, he'd have designed our chemistry better.

But the Flying Spaghetti Monster is another story altogether. For one thing, he likes us well enough, but he doesn't love us. He made us a beer volcano in heaven, but he wouldn't break a leg to save us from falling off a cliff. And he's a pretty smart cookie, but he is, after all, a giant mess of cooked spaghetti, and is as confused as you'd expect a big mess of cooked spaghetti to be. He'd be the guy to bungle the job of creating life, and then get tired of it and go off to something else.

And there you have it. Simple, isn't it? It must have been the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and not the Christian god, who created life on the earth. No other explanation is possible.

I trust this will put the matter to rest.

ghostofjk · Jun 15, 2006

Praise Daniel! It is all so clear now! I'm so happy I could pee Chanel #5!

The FSM had "Monday creations" and "Friday creations", just as we do.

I've done a computer analysis, using the birthdates of the current bunch in Washington. And would you believe it?! The patrilineal lineage of every damned one of them traces back to a common ancestor who was...was...created on a Monday!

At last! Republicans explained!

mehrenst · Jun 15, 2006

Here's the proof. :wacko:

hycamguy07 · Jun 15, 2006

LOL you all are too funny, Hey how can you tell when a Lawyer is lying? his lips are moving..

galaxee · Jun 15, 2006

couldn't he have left an instruction manual? it's going to take us ages and ages to find out everything about how the body works.

suppose i shouldn't complain... it keeps me busy.

windstrings · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(daniel @ Jun 15 2006, 01:58 PM) [snapback]271840[/snapback]</div>

Now, consider the Christian god: He's all-powerful, all-knowing, everywhere-present, and loves us so much he had his own son killed so he wouldn't have to send us all to hell. It's just simply obvious that if we were created by someone who was all-powerful and loved us that much, he'd have designed our chemistry better.
[/b]
Click to expand...

You still seem to be on an agenda do discredit God because it doesn't all fit your understanding.

What if I was to tell you that God did create our chemistry perfect and that He allows free will without ruling and overpowering that will.... and that when sin entered the world, we started dying because death is a byproduct of sin.
We used to live 700 - 900 years even after sin first entered but we slowly dwindled to about 30 years life expectancy in the dark ages until modern medicine helped offset that.

Its amazing our chemistry still holds up to the abuse we dish out to it with our funky foods, drugs and habits.

I suppose a loving God could make a chemistry that held up to sin but he chose not to on purpose... could that be your real offense?

Would he be really loving if he allowed us to go on never knowing him?

Would that be really loving if he became one of us forever and lived in our sin with us without ever pulling us out?

Wow!.. where did all that come from anyway Daniel?.... It sounds like God is dealing with you and you are fighting it as you struggle with your mind and trusting your heart instead of your head.

There are some things your heart can see that your mind can't.

hdrygas · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(daniel @ Jun 15 2006, 01:58 PM) [snapback]271840[/snapback]</div>

When you begin to learn a bit about how cells actually work, at the chemical level, two things become abundantly clear:

1. That this is all so amazingly complex and intricately wonderful, that it could not have just happened all by itself. It must have been intentionally designed by somebody.

2. That it is all so mind-bogglingly cluttered with mistakes that whoever created us either was a blundering idiot, or else really didn't care all that much whether he got it right or not.

Living things function, up to a point: Some percentage of them (different for different species) manage to survive long enough to reproduce, but the things that go wrong at the chemical level betray the most slovenly imaginable standards of design engineering. It could and should have been done differently if the creator was interested in anything more than reproduction followed by decay.

Now, consider the Christian god: He's all-powerful, all-knowing, everywhere-present, and loves us so much he had his own son killed so he wouldn't have to send us all to hell. It's just simply obvious that if we were created by someone who was all-powerful and loved us that much, he'd have designed our chemistry better.

But the Flying Spaghetti Monster is another story altogether. For one thing, he likes us well enough, but he doesn't love us. He made us a beer volcano in heaven, but he wouldn't break a leg to save us from falling off a cliff. And he's a pretty smart cookie, but he is, after all, a giant mess of cooked spaghetti, and is as confused as you'd expect a big mess of cooked spaghetti to be. He'd be the guy to bungle the job of creating life, and then get tired of it and go off to something else.

And there you have it. Simple, isn't it? It must have been the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and not the Christian god, who created life on the earth. No other explanation is possible.

I trust this will put the matter to rest.
[/b]
Click to expand...

This is all well and good but I have to ask, one has to ask where do meat balls fit in all of this. I mean a equal combination of ground beef, veal and pork mixed with bread crumbs, basil, oregano, garlic finely chopped, onion finely chopped and flat leaf parsley, dredged in flour and browned in the best Virgin Olive Oil and added to the sauce to gently simmer for a day. Where is that. I really need to know. After that there are Brasole with spinach, egg, Basil Parmesan. What about that! So many questions. Where does Cincinnati chili fit in all of this. I mean 5 way. What about that!!

Mirza · Jun 16, 2006

windstrings,

I pity the response because you are just wasting your time responding to these threads... it may be in your best interest to just let them be and go on in more productive ways.

hdrygas · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mirza @ Jun 15 2006, 10:00 PM) [snapback]272056[/snapback]</div>

windstrings,

I pity the response because you are just wasting your time responding to these threads... it may be in your best interest to just let them be and go on in more productive ways.
[/b]
Click to expand...

You oppose trading recipes. My spaghettis is better than yours!!!! I demand a cook off.

windstrings · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mirza @ Jun 15 2006, 10:00 PM) [snapback]272056[/snapback]</div>

windstrings,

I pity the response because you are just wasting your time responding to these threads... it may be in your best interest to just let them be and go on in more productive ways.
[/b]
Click to expand...

I'm not his mother, and I don't consider myself a caring person at all, but for some reason I have hope in Daniel!

If you do much digging around, I don't respond to many of these.. I don't have the time... but this is on ongoing saga.... I didn't know this was still an issue.

I am always intrigued at the mindset of those from other planets, or should I say "places".

Mirza · Jun 16, 2006

How dare you propose such a sacrilege!!!!!!! I will pray to the noodly one that a pirate steal your recipe and slice yerrrr head off!

windstrings · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hdrygas @ Jun 15 2006, 10:04 PM) [snapback]272060[/snapback]</div>

You oppose trading recipes. My spaghettis is better than yours!!!! I demand a cook off.
[/b]
Click to expand...

But who gets to be the judge?

If I say my spagetti is better than yours, it may just be because I don't cook it the way your momma did?

what is it anyway that makes really "good" spagetti?... to meet the expected taste and results, or does the majority win?

what if the majority doesn't even know what a meatball is?

How can we let the "majority" be judge if they never went to school to learn how to cook spagetti the "right" way?

Is it only a matter of opinion?..or does it come down to the real chemistry of taste upon the buds?

If I like spagetti packed with garlic, does that make it "good"... what is "good".. can you define it?

Isn't good based on who pleases the final authority of right and wrong or "good" and bad?

Doesn't the master chef get to be the judge?.. or is it the guy in the streets?

Who gets to define and make the decisions of right and wrong?

hdrygas · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Jun 15 2006, 10:19 PM) [snapback]272068[/snapback]</div>

But who gets to be the judge?

If I say my spagetti is better than yours, it may just be because I don't cook it the way your momma did?
what is it anyway that makes really "good" spagetti?... to meet the expected taste and results, or does the majority win?

what if the majority doesn't even know what a meatball is?

How can we let the "majority" be judge if they never went to school to learn how to cook spagetti the "right" way?

Is it only a matter of opinion?..or does it come down to the real chemistry of taste upon the buds?

If I like spagetti packed with garlic, does that make it "good"... what is "good".. can you define it?

Isn't good based on who pleases the final authority of right and wrong or "good" and bad?

Doesn't the master chef get to be the judge?.. or is it the guy in the streets?

Who gets to define and make the decisions of right and wrong?
[/b]
Click to expand...

How dare you judge my grandmothers recipe, and her's! I denounce you. You are a child of the spaghetti squash. A unbeliever. Burn him at the stake I say. I have fagots of wood and oil, tar and feathers. Let us see him burn against the night sky. Unbeliever, spawn of the devil, you must be a liberal. We have satin here among use. Only fire water earth and air will cleanse this. Gather the faithful there is the spagahettie's work to be done. Let us strike now! Burn, Burn!

ghostofjk · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Jun 15 2006, 10:19 PM) [snapback]272068[/snapback]</div>

But who gets to be the judge?

If I say my spagetti is better than yours, it may just be because I don't cook it the way your momma did?
what is it anyway that makes really "good" spagetti?... to meet the expected taste and results, or does the majority win?

what if the majority doesn't even know what a meatball is?

How can we let the "majority" be judge if they never went to school to learn how to cook spagetti the "right" way?

Is it only a matter of opinion?..or does it come down to the real chemistry of taste upon the buds?

If I like spagetti packed with garlic, does that make it "good"... what is "good".. can you define it?

Isn't good based on who pleases the final authority of right and wrong or "good" and bad?

Doesn't the master chef get to be the judge?.. or is it the guy in the streets?

Who gets to define and make the decisions of right and wrong?
[/b]
Click to expand...

windstrings maketh metaphors...

spaghetti and meta-phors...

*gurgle*

*ping*

daniel · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(galaxee @ Jun 15 2006, 08:35 PM) [snapback]272008[/snapback]</div>

couldn't he have left an instruction manual? it's going to take us ages and ages to find out everything about how the body works.
[/b]
Click to expand...

That goes right to the heart of what I'm talking about: a creator who loves us would have given us a technical manual. But the FSM does not love us. He just likes us. He's given us a few hints, but he really doesn't care if we figure it out or not.

You might do a loved one's homework. But you're not going to take that much time just for a friend. A few tips, and after that he's on his own.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Jun 15 2006, 09:11 PM) [snapback]272033[/snapback]</div>

You still seem to be on an agenda do discredit God because it doesn't all fit your understanding.

What if I was to tell you that God did create our chemistry perfect and that He allows free will without ruling and overpowering that will.... and that when sin entered the world, we started dying because death is a byproduct of sin.

<snip>

Wow!.. where did all that come from anyway Daniel?....
[/b]
Click to expand...

My agenda is to glorify the Flying Spaghetti Monster because He has touched me with His Noodly Appendage and I wish for you the same rewards in the afterlife as I seek for myself. (A beer volcano and a stripper factory.) My agenda is to turn you away from your false god to my True one. RAmen.

The problem with your statement that sin brought imperfection into the world is that animals were suffering from imperfect chemistry for a billion years before humans ever existed.

Where did all this come from, you ask? Simple: I was touched by His Noodly Appendage, and I saw the light. You urged me to open my heart and I did so. And in fully opening my heart, I made a pathway for His Noodle Appendage to enter. Now I urge you, as you urged me, Open your heart, let go of your insistence on your false god and let the true one, the FSM, in. You only need open it a little, for His Noodly Appendage, being noodly, is thin and needs but a crack to enter. And remember the god-back guarantee. No other religion offers such a guarantee: Try the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for 30 days, and if you are not completely satisfied, your own god will probably take you back.

RAmen.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hdrygas @ Jun 15 2006, 10:00 PM) [snapback]272055[/snapback]</div>

This is all well and good but I have to ask, one has to ask where do meat balls fit in all of this. I mean a equal combination of ground beef, veal and pork mixed with bread crumbs, basil, oregano, garlic finely chopped, onion finely chopped and flat leaf parsley, dredged in flour and browned in the best Virgin Olive Oil and added to the sauce to gently simmer for a day. Where is that. I really need to know. After that there are Brasole with spinach, egg, Basil Parmesan. What about that! So many questions. Where does Cincinnati chili fit in all of this. I mean 5 way. What about that!!
[/b]
Click to expand...

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a tolerant Spaghetti Monster. All recipes are pleasing in his sight if they are pleasing to your palate. Some of us eat our spaghetti without meatballs, others with. Some use pure dairy butter and extra-virgin olive oil, others use grapeseed oil or even fat-free. It's all good.

So please do not quarrel over recipes. Trade them, try them, enjoy them. But the FSM would Really Rather people didn't slaughter each other for His sake, they way the followers of that other god do. RAmen.

windstrings · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(daniel @ Jun 16 2006, 06:30 AM) [snapback]272163[/snapback]</div>

That goes right to the heart of what I'm talking about: a creator who loves us would have given us a technical manual. But the FSM does not love us. He just likes us. He's given us a few hints, but he really doesn't care if we figure it out or not.
[/b]
Click to expand...

Oh but contrar grasshopper... he gave us a manual indeed! and an insurance policy with guarantee for life... and life eternal that is!... but you have to accept the policy of course!

The policy is actually free... already been paid for in advance!
But you know all that.

But no one wants a policy if he doesn't believe in the car in the first place?
Especially if he doesn't believe in the integrity of the cars maker!

It takes a while for people to warm up to the hybrid!

Some people can't believe in anything they cannot see...

Wow!.. it is so hard to see that physical is crude, corruptable, and inefficient and that spirit is pure, eternal and the fabric of life?

Seems to me what we "can" see is whats not real.

Trying to explain spiritual matters to the carnal worldly earthly mind is like trying to beat on a hollow gourd to hear the ocean.

As someone said it... why try to explain what "real" spagetti taste like to someone thats only had ragu?

Until they give up thier fears and try it, its impossible to convey the difference.

jared2 · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(daniel @ Jun 16 2006, 09:30 AM) [snapback]272163[/snapback]</div>

That goes right to the heart of what I'm talking about: a creator who loves us would have given us a technical manual. But the FSM does not love us. He just likes us. He's given us a few hints, but he really doesn't care if we figure it out or not.

You might do a loved one's homework. But you're not going to take that much time just for a friend. A few tips, and after that he's on his own.
My agenda is to glorify the Flying Spaghetti Monster because He has touched me with His Noodly Appendage and I wish for you the same rewards in the afterlife as I seek for myself. (A beer volcano and a stripper factory.) My agenda is to turn you away from your false god to my True one. RAmen.

The problem with your statement that sin brought imperfection into the world is that animals were suffering from imperfect chemistry for a billion years before humans ever existed.

Where did all this come from, you ask? Simple: I was touched by His Noodly Appendage, and I saw the light. You urged me to open my heart and I did so. And in fully opening my heart, I made a pathway for His Noodle Appendage to enter. Now I urge you, as you urged me, Open your heart, let go of your insistence on your false god and let the true one, the FSM, in. You only need open it a little, for His Noodly Appendage, being noodly, is thin and needs but a crack to enter. And remember the god-back guarantee. No other religion offers such a guarantee: Try the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for 30 days, and if you are not completely satisfied, your own god will probably take you back.

RAmen.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a tolerant Spaghetti Monster. All recipes are pleasing in his sight if they are pleasing to your palate. Some of us eat our spaghetti without meatballs, others with. Some use pure dairy butter and extra-virgin olive oil, others use grapeseed oil or even fat-free. It's all good.

So please do not quarrel over recipes. Trade them, try them, enjoy them. But the FSM would Really Rather people didn't slaughter each other for His sake, they way the followers of that other god do. RAmen.
[/b]
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I do not like spagetti, leave me be.
"Try it, try it, you will see"
"Try it, try it," so you say
I did try it, and - - -say!
I like spagetti! I like it a lot!
And I will eat it in a pot!
I will eat it in my car
I will eat it near and far
Thank you, thank you Daniel!
For showing me the way
And showing so well.
As for Windstrings; he can go to hell

windstrings · Jun 16, 2006

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Jun 16 2006, 08:33 AM) [snapback]272218[/snapback]</div>

I do not like spagetti, leave me be.
"Try it, try it, you will see"
"Try it, try it," so you say
I did try it, and - - -say!
I like spagetti! I like it a lot!
And I will eat it in a pot!
I will eat it in my car
I will eat it near and far
Thank you, thank you Daniel!
For showing me the way
And showing so well.
As for Windstrings; he can go to hell
[/b]
Click to expand...

I don't know what hell is like, but I have a feeling you don't want to wish it on your worst enemy...
Am I your worst enemy?

jared2 · Jun 16, 2006

Certainly not!

I just needed a rhyme.

How about

As for Windstrings, he is pretty swell

[Not everything is serious]

MarinJohn · Jun 16, 2006

At last! The Book of Daniel explained in a way I can understand.

Do I like spaghetti? Yes I do
As for spaghetti monsters, Yahoo!

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