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Summer Classes for Men

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by hycamguy07, May 23, 2006.

  1. hycamguy07

    hycamguy07 New Member

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    Central Florida
    Vehicle:
    2007 Prius
    Summer Classes for Men The Learning Center for Adults


    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday



    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL

    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO! 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.





    Class 1

    How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.



    Class 2

    The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?

    Round Table Discussion.

    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hour



    Class 3

    Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and

    Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.

    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.





    Class 4

    Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---

    Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

    Meets Satu rdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.



    Class 5

    After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

    Examples on Video.

    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning

    at 7:00 PM



    Class 6

    Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

    Help Line Support and Support Groups.

    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM



    Class 7

    Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places

    And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

    Open Forum .

    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.



    Class 8

    Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

    Graphics and Audio Tapes.

    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.



    Class 9

    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.

    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.



    Class 10

    Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

    Driving Simulations.

    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.



    Class 11

    Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

    Online Classes and role-playing .

    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined



    Class 12

    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.



    Class 13

    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.





    Class 14

    The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.

    Live Demonstration.

    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.



    Upon completion of any of the above courses,

    diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    <_< :( :blink: :huh: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
    #1 hycamguy07, May 23, 2006
  2. heliotropehead

    heliotropehead New Member

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    :lol:


    I like this one:

    Class 7

    Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places

    And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

    Open Forum .

    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    My husband forgets to open his eyes when he's looking for something... and god forbid the object he's looking for is behind another object! I do love him, though. :)
     
    #2 heliotropehead, May 23, 2006
  3. Mirza

    Mirza New Member

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    Lol... I sometimes don't have my attention when I'm placing something somewhere else (like my keys; maybe it's thinking about a response to the latest PC thread or something like that)... and then when I look for it and can't find it, I have this negative habit of thinking someone else misplaced it!
     
    #3 Mirza, May 23, 2006
  4. Salsawonder

    Salsawonder New Member

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    Nov 28, 2005
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    Location:
    La Mesa California
    Vehicle:
    2010 Prius
    Model:
    IV
    Fabulous, If I could find a guy that could pass even half of these classes I might decide to jump into the pool again!
     
    #4 Salsawonder, May 23, 2006
  5. ghostofjk

    ghostofjk New Member

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    Pretty good! I may have to think up a Summer Session for females. :lol:
     
    #5 ghostofjk, May 23, 2006
  6. parrot_lady

    parrot_lady Member

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    Chicago Burbs
    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(priusguy04 @ May 23 2006, 05:54 PM) [snapback]259919[/snapback]</div>
    Can they add "remembering to put the seat down" to that one or will the guys have too much work to remember to do that? :p
     
    #6 parrot_lady, May 23, 2006
  7. Mirza

    Mirza New Member

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    It's always fun and games until the tables are turned :p

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Salsawonder @ May 23 2006, 07:30 PM) [snapback]259991[/snapback]</div>
     
    #7 Mirza, May 23, 2006
  8. Mystery Squid

    Mystery Squid Junior Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Salsawonder @ May 23 2006, 07:30 PM) [snapback]259991[/snapback]</div>
    I remember one time, not too long ago actually, I was with some chick at a mall somewhere, and she had a ton of clothes in her arms, and I said, "Here, let me hold your purse...", and she shot back with:

    "Someone trained you real good..."

    She came up short at the register, and although I had $, I just smiled, as she had to put a lot of stuff down...

    So, note to women: some things are better left unspoken, and appreciated quietly. :angry:


    I'm down with the list except for THIS one... :lol:

    Does it REALLY matter?????
     
    #8 Mystery Squid, May 23, 2006
  9. Mirza

    Mirza New Member

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    So true... every woman I've dated (no matter how nice I was) ended up being a man hater from basically the moment I met them. I think those that do take pride in vitreole do it because it makes them feel better about themselves.
     
    #9 Mirza, May 23, 2006
  10. Mystery Squid

    Mystery Squid Junior Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mirza @ May 23 2006, 11:55 PM) [snapback]260130[/snapback]</div>
    In my case, every chick I've dated ends up being lame. They ALL claim they want to go out all the time, shop, do stuff outdoors, skiing, skating, hopping in the back of my bike, etc., and when the time comes to DO IT, they'd rather sit on their asses at home watching some crap like The OC... :rolleyes: Actually, there was one exception, unfortunately, she turned out to be nuts and ended up in jail... :ph34r: Too bad too, 'cause she was the only chick that's ever ridden on the back of my bike, and not only was she not scared, but INSISTED on going faster, even as the speedo crossed the 120 mark... :ph34r:
     
    #10 Mystery Squid, May 24, 2006
  11. zapranoth

    zapranoth New Member

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    Olympia, WA
    Vehicle:
    2006 Prius
    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Mystery Squid @ May 23 2006, 09:02 PM) [snapback]260135[/snapback]</div>
    THAT is why you troll those who's in jail websites!!

    :p
     
    #11 zapranoth, May 24, 2006
  12. ghostofjk

    ghostofjk New Member

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    #2, #5, #7 and #14 should be co-ed classes. :)

    Classes for women could include:

    1. Getting The Cell-Phone Bill Under $75/mo.

    2. Checking Tire Pressure (No, They Don't Maintain Inflation For Four Years)

    3. Beating That Shoe-Buying Addiction (Without Buying More Purses While Rehabbing)

    4. Avoiding Alzheimer's: Memorizing the Contents of Your Bag

    5. Is It Believable For My Faked O***sms to Sound Like Those in the Movies?
    (includes listening to tapes of hundreds of real ones---don't ask)

    6. Avoiding Exercise and Dieting: Expensive and/or Life-Threatening Pills and Treatments
    That HAVE Worked for Some People, For However Short a Time

    7. Reading Product Instructions and Owners' Manuals: No Story or Sex, But It Can Save Your
    Butt

    8. Just Being Me--and Anxiety-Free! (Note: subject to cancellation. OK, OK, so it's never
    had enough registrations to actually hold the class. So sue us. We can dream, can't we?)

    9. Managing Your Credit Card Debts, Starbuck's Intake and Your S.O. (Waiver for Instructor
    to perform minor surgery required at first class)

    Name YOUR class for women for #10. :)
     
    #12 ghostofjk, May 24, 2006
  13. Schmika

    Schmika New Member

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    Xenia, OH
    GREAT BOOK fo women..."The Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. If you haven't read it...no negative comments. It is SO TRUE.

    Basically, men are simple creatures. Sex and food. Fed in balanced and regular doses. )OK, it is deeper than that...but that should grab SOME attention)

    My wife and I read it together and things have improved greatly since then...ON BOTH SIDES.
     
    #13 Schmika, May 24, 2006
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