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The Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by daniel, Jun 2, 2006.

  1. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    With Danny's permission (in the view that it constitutes Fair Use) I am attaching a scan, in two files, of the eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts from Bobby Henderson's Book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This is the definitive statement of what the Flying Spaghetti Monster wants of us. There are no Commandments, because He is a tolerant god. There are only eight because Mosey dropped two of them on the way down the mountain, which, as Bobby tells us, may account for Pastafarians' loose morals. The book is available at libraries, in bookstores, and on line.

    [attachmentid=3662]
    [attachmentid=3663]
     
    #1 daniel, Jun 2, 2006
  2. Tempus

    Tempus Senior Member

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    "Bob" >> FSM

    [​IMG]

    P.S. I hear FSM is really a Discordian.
     
    #2 Tempus, Jun 2, 2006
  3. AnOldHouse

    AnOldHouse Member

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    Well, I personally subscribe to the alternate and far superior and dietarily essential macronutrient dieties of Protein and Fats according to the Sacred Gospel of Atkins, with a particular, almost cultish, devotion to only whole, natural and organic, nutirent dense foods.

    Yes, I will admit that I do trifle with a very small daily acknowledgement of the dietarily non-essential Carbohydrate god, but only using 100% WHOLE grain products in my communion and other non-starchy, low-sugar and entirely unrefined sacraments.

    There is, of course, that OTHER macronutrient god of the dark side: the Spririts of Alcohol, who, I'm afraid is probably worshipped far more than the Noodly One or my preferred Macronutrient gods combined. Okay, I admit that even I have stepped on the dark side a couple of times a year, but never, ever while observing the holy fast of ketosis!
     
    #3 AnOldHouse, Jun 2, 2006
  4. TonyPSchaefer

    TonyPSchaefer Your Friendly Moderator
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    #4 TonyPSchaefer, Jun 2, 2006
  5. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    Whole-grain pasta is perfectly acceptable to the FSM. He is a tolerant god, and nowhere does he require you to eat pasta made from refined flour.

    And note that beer is a very important part of the pastafarian diet, and there's even a beer volcano in heaven. (As well as a stripper factory.)
     
    #5 daniel, Jun 2, 2006
  6. ghostofjk

    ghostofjk New Member

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    I'm beginning to think you might be pulling our collective leg about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, daniel. I believed it at first, and WANT to believe it, really. I started practicing the eight Really-Wish-You'd-Rathers faithfully and even resolved to make my own sauce once a year on Low Holy Days, rather than popping open another jar of Ragu.

    But BEER with spaghetti? I don't know. Is there any Scripture on this?
     
    #6 ghostofjk, Jun 2, 2006
  7. geologyrox

    geologyrox New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ghostofjk @ Jun 2 2006, 10:50 PM) [snapback]264998[/snapback]</div>
    Oh, daniel just enjoys spreading the wonder of the FSM - it's not some great cosmic joke. There really is a religion that practices tolerance AND promises beer and strippers in heaven. Count yourself lucky to have been 'touched.' =)
     
    #7 geologyrox, Jun 3, 2006
  8. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(ghostofjk @ Jun 2 2006, 07:50 PM) [snapback]264998[/snapback]</div>
    According to the Book, pirates are the chosen people of the FSM, and pirates drink grog. Bobby seems to think that grog is the same as beer. (This is incorrect, as is much of the Book, but that's beside the point, since it wouldn't be a religion if it got facts right.) Therefore, the scripture is chok-full of references to beer and admonitions to drink beer. There's even a beer volcano in heaven. I personally find that non-alcoholic beer goes great with pasta. (I don't like alcohol.)

    On the other hand, I'm sure the FSM would smile on you and touch you with His Noodly Appendage if you chose to drink actual grog with your spaghetti. Wikipedia says grog is rum and water.
     
    #8 daniel, Jun 3, 2006
  9. bigdaddy

    bigdaddy Member

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    #9 bigdaddy, Sep 11, 2006
  10. geologyrox

    geologyrox New Member

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    It does my heart good to see His image stand out so gloriously - I've decided to take it as a sign that I should stop worrying about what to have for dinner and just plan on communion.

    =)
     
    #10 geologyrox, Sep 12, 2006
  11. DaveinOlyWA

    DaveinOlyWA 3rd Time was Solariffic!!

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    hmmm. no file... guess thats what happens when i show up 3 months too late
     
    #11 DaveinOlyWA, Sep 12, 2006
  12. geologyrox

    geologyrox New Member

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    Wiki to the rescue! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of...ou_Didn.27ts.22

    =)

    EDIT: because I'd forgotten how much I liked #8: "I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something." #4 is good too =)
     
    #12 geologyrox, Sep 12, 2006
  13. DaveinOlyWA

    DaveinOlyWA 3rd Time was Solariffic!!

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    thanks geo
     
    #13 DaveinOlyWA, Sep 12, 2006
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