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The Passion of The McRib...

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by The Electric Me, Nov 9, 2011.

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  1. The Electric Me

    The Electric Me Go Speed Go!

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    Okay, so this is Prius Chat. Even though I know it is much more than the stereotype, this is the supposed strong hold of the Vegan type. Those that compost their compost and recycle their recyclings...

    So I come here for temperance and to admit...I love The McRib. Even though when I take a big enough bite, I can actually see the faint glow at the end of the tunnel become a little brighter, even though I can hear the ticking of my death clock tick faster and louder...I still love The McRib.

    I love it because it is everything I'm suppose to dislike. I love it because it doesn't pretend. It's a genuine fake. It's The Rib, that isn't a rib. It's the "meat" made to be soylent green tasteless. It's the prefabricated pressed shape of ribs, made to be a pleasant "texture". It's flavor being handed off to a slathering of obnoxious and probably deadly Barbeque sauce, purposely used to overwhelm any other taste that might exist within the sandwiche itself.

    The McRib represents everything I dislike in our culture. It's the official sandwiche of strip malls and Dollar Tree's. It has no subtlety, no worth outside of filling your stomach and probably clogging your arteries. And I love it for that....and infact, in a Last Temptation of Christ move...I'll supersize the fries...

    I hope Mickey D's never changes a thing. The world would be a little dimmer if they ever offered a meatless McRib. With an heathier apple slices side.....

    We all have a dark side. Don't we all sneak something into the trash can we know should be recycled? At 1:00 am in the morning, aren't we all throwing the groceries in the plastic sacks because we forgot to bring in the reuseable sacks and it's raining outside? The McRib makes no pretencious attempt at being anything but bad. It's going to push you into the back alley and ask for your wallet. And if you don't give it up? It will cut you...it will cut you bad.

    It's horrible. It sits in it's stained box like a Led Zeplin daring you to eat it. It's only promise a temporary subsiding of hunger. You know if you do eat it? You're not going to feel good later. It's going to ruin your evening, and yet? You still must eat it..you still must love it.

    The McRib is the father and son talk you never had. It's the dog that got ran over, or the cat that ran away. It's an afront to all things natural or in balance. It's disharmony between Man and Nature.

    It's archaic rhythmic chanting coupled with the sudden appearance of Ravens and big menancing black dogs. It's the cry of "It's all for you McRib!" then the final step and the sudden snap of a rope tied in a historically ill used loop.

    And yet? Guess what I'm going to have for lunch?

    I'm damned if I don't love the McRib.
     
    #1 The Electric Me, Nov 9, 2011
    1 person likes this.
  2. efusco

    efusco Moderator Emeritus
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    LOL!! I'm a hard core carnivor, but I hate the McRib--for all those reasons that you love it. But I appreciate your passion and enjoyed the read. Keep on McKeeping On!
     
    #2 efusco, Nov 9, 2011
  3. 2k1Toaster

    2k1Toaster Brand New Prius Batteries

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    lol, nice writeup.

    I've never liked soggy sandwiches so I doubt it is for me. That and it would require me to go to a mcdonalds which is something I try to prevent.
     
    #3 2k1Toaster, Nov 9, 2011
  4. hyo silver

    hyo silver Awaaaaay

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    I'm no vegan, but I haven't eaten there in decades. As a teenager, the food would literally make me sick, so I stopped going. I'm sure the menu's changed since then....maybe even the quality. :rolleyes:
     
    #4 hyo silver, Nov 9, 2011
  5. qbee42

    qbee42 My other car is a boat

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    I love ribs, even "country style" boneless cuts that taste like ribs, but aren't really ribs. Still, I can't get myself to like the McRib. The processed quality of the meat is too disgusting for me. It is limp and soggy. But whatever floats your boat...

    Tom
     
    #5 qbee42, Nov 9, 2011
  6. sipnfuel

    sipnfuel New Member

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    I had the McRib sandwich the last time it was "re-released" (last year). It was nothing to write home about.

    I think this "limited availability" is some sort of gimmick by McDonalds. Somehow if it was available all year long, it would lose its cult following.
     
    #6 sipnfuel, Nov 9, 2011
  7. qbee42

    qbee42 My other car is a boat

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    I assumed it was a supply issue. As far as I can tell, the McRib meat is formed by scraping the grill surfaces and then pressing it into a semi-solid mass. It takes awhile for the grills to regenerate the necessary amount of filth, so therefor the McRib has limited availability.

    ;)

    Tom
     
    #7 qbee42, Nov 9, 2011
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  8. amm0bob

    amm0bob Permanently Junior...

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    Meh... I'd rather have a filet of fish...


    Still 5213...
     
    #8 amm0bob, Nov 9, 2011
  9. J5A

    J5A Active Member

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    Give me real food or give me death.
     
    #9 J5A, Nov 9, 2011
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  10. Dusty Chips

    Dusty Chips New Member

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    I've had three since they've come back. However, the last two times, they ran out of McRib buns and served it on QPC buns.
    The no good sons of b.........
     
    #10 Dusty Chips, Nov 9, 2011
  11. Stev0

    Stev0 Honorary Hong Kong Cavalier

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    I *like* McDonald's. I like ribs. But the McRib in an abomination from the lowest levels of Hell that also produced Paris Hilton, The Hummer H3, and Donald Trump's hair.
     
    #11 Stev0, Nov 9, 2011
  12. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    Never heard of it. But then, I've never eaten at a McD's. The first one I ever saw opened in my neighborhood about 3 or 4 months after I quit eating meat.

    I cannot stomach fake meat. It may not taste like real meat to you, but it tastes far too much like meat to me. Yuck!
     
    #12 daniel, Nov 9, 2011
  13. mmcdonal

    mmcdonal Active Member

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    I do eat meat, to each their own. But I don't eat mystery meat. I had a monstrous prime rib this evening (I could only get through 1/3 of it). But I wouldn't take a nibble on one of those McThings. I'll leave them for Homer Simpson. But enjoy.

    Btw, Twinkies are my secret. At least they are just baked goods, and not masquerading as animal protein.
     
    #13 mmcdonal, Nov 9, 2011
  14. Southern Dad

    Southern Dad Active Member

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    Normally I'm one of those that refuses to eat any meat that I can't identify the animal it came from... But I have an affinity for the McRib that I can't explain. I love that sucker. I admit that I've had to spend extra time on the treadmill to work off a couple of those tasty suckers.

    I'll be sad when they are gone and my Prius will again not pass silently through the McDonald's drive thru until they return again.
     
    #14 Southern Dad, Nov 9, 2011
  15. Tideland Prius

    Tideland Prius Moderator of the North
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    lol. I tried one back in 2007 when I visited your fine country and it was probably the worst McDonald's menu item I've ever tried. Burgers and hotdogs are already processed meat. I don't really want to go further down the chain.
     
    #15 Tideland Prius, Nov 9, 2011
  16. dkelly

    dkelly Member

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    Like a rib, it tastes like liberty,
    Like a rib, with a barn of sesame
    Man: We start with authentic letter graded meat, and process the hell out of it, until it's good enough for Krusty!
    Krusty: Try my new Krusty Ribwich.. mmmmm! I don't mind the taste!
     
    #16 dkelly, Nov 9, 2011
  17. KK6PD

    KK6PD _ . _ . / _ _ . _

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    Be careful what you wish for... When I was putting my self through college, one of the more fun jobs I undertook was Live Sound Mixing for local Rock & Roll bands. Those were different times! ... Anyway on day we drove through a McDonald's, got food, and a extra Fillet of Fish. It was tossed on the shelf of the large van we used to haul the equipment, and the 6 of us from gig to gig... Well we all forgot the damn thing. this was in December. February we we were traveling, to god knows where and the drummer was hungry. we are traveling 70 mph on the Wisconsin interstate, and Gino the drummer can't wait for the next off ramp. So he starts rummaging through the overhead bin, finds the Fillet O Fish, 3 months old, and before anyone could say a word he wolfed it down with a beer!
    Thank god for preservatives, Or I would have been drumming that night, and I am a fine mixer, drumming not so much! :eek:

    Gino did turn a tad green after we all laughed out that he ate a 3 month old sandwich! :D
     
    #17 KK6PD, Nov 9, 2011
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  18. amm0bob

    amm0bob Permanently Junior...

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    I wouldn't wish for three month-old McDonald's fish... that's for sure Bra...


    Glad the fella lived...



    I'll have another Filet-o-fish next month on one of my "have a gluten days"...
     
    #18 amm0bob, Nov 9, 2011
  19. qbee42

    qbee42 My other car is a boat

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    Yeah, but you have to remember, this was a *drummer*.

    Tom
     
    #19 qbee42, Nov 9, 2011
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  20. PearlJammer

    PearlJammer Member

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    My God that's an egregious load of hilarious wordsmithery.:jaw:
     
    #20 PearlJammer, Nov 9, 2011
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