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what would you do?

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by eliteconcept, Sep 2, 2010.

  1. eliteconcept

    eliteconcept 700 mile club, top tank mpg 69.5

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    Ok guys get this.
    about 3 years ago (2007 sometime), We rented a paint sprayer and painted our privacy fence in our back yard. In doing so some overspray made it onto our neighbors chainlink fence behind our privacy fence. He commented in the days after about the overspray. I told him I would see if I could get a power washer from my parents to see if that would blast off any over spray...I made no promises but said I'd see what I could do about the power washer. Anyways after the conversation I never heard about the over spray again.

    Last saturday we mowed our lawn in the morning, got finished up and I pulled out my sprinkler. I was setting it up when this goof-ball asked if I could wait until he does his lawn to water. Being that we had some bad history in the past few months (unrelated story) I told him "No, I'm not in the business of watering your lawn so you'll be fine." and proceeded to setup and water my lawn, making extra sure to NOT get his lawn wet so he could mow. He was not so happy about my comment but oh well, and he was able to mow his lawn unhassled by my watering.

    Today my wife is getting in her car and he says "I'm suing you guys for the paint you got on my fence when you painted your privacy fence. You'll have 3 options.. pay $500, replace the fence, or go to court." My wife ignored him and went on her way to work, where she called me and told him about his comments. A couple quick google searches lead me to find that Indiana statute of limitations for suing on personal property damage is 2 years. I have pictures from 2007 showing our painted fence (it was unpainted prior to that), and we should be able to find our charge for the rental paint sprayer, and current pictures of my fence will show its been some time since its been painted......so I'm thinking we are in the clear, at least at this point.

    However we are a bit unsure of what to do about this clown. I'm not really worried at all about his threat of suing, because he has no ground to stand on....but what would you guys do. My wife says we should just ignore him, get our facts together and if he wants to go to court we'll gladly go and he'll have nothing to stand on and be force to pay the court fees. I think we should print out the Indiana law from the indiana.gov website and buy him a can of silver spray paint and just put it by his door. Then again I hate this guy and want to zing him but at the same time we have to live next to this slob.

    What would you do?
     
  2. airportkid

    airportkid Will Fly For Food

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    Sounds like this bad history is very much the story, else why would your neighbor dredge up a 3 year old dispute. I would recommend looking for ways to get you & your neighbor on amicable terms, even if it means swallowing some crow you don't think is yours to swallow. The costs, emotional and economic, of being on bad terms with an adjoining neighbor are far greater than doing what you can to get on good terms. And the benefits of being on good terms with a neighbor are incalculable.
     
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  3. SyZyGy

    SyZyGy New Member

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    Let the nut job go off his rocker. Just watch out if he does anything to vandalize your personal property, ie. like put nails in your driveway so you run them over...
     
  4. priuscritter

    priuscritter I am the Stig.

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    Sorry, but I think you guys were in the wrong here. You sprayed paint on his fence. You should have cleaned it up at the time. The way you explained it in your post it's almost as though you feel you did nothing wrong.

    If the statute of limitations is in your favor, then you have nothing to worry about, but that's sort of beside the point. You now have an adversary for a neighbor because you damaged his property and didn't rectify it, and then you made snotty comments about the water. I'll give you the fact that if you aren't spraying water on his lawn, he shouldn't take issue. But I think it was handled badly.
     
  5. eagle33199

    eagle33199 Platinum Member

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    If anything, I would print out the statute, and approach him with it. Don't be aggressive or confrontational, but simply say "I did some research after you informed my wife of your intentions to sue, and felt that I should share with you what I found with regards to the statute of limitations. I'd hate for this to get any worse between us from a failed court case."

    This way, you've given him a peace offering, while indicating a desire to get past this grudge. It makes anything past this point strictly his fault, as you did nothing to antagonize him.

    It's easy to live with neighbors you like. I love my current neighbors. It's much harder to live with neighbors you don't like. It's very, very easy to get away with small amounts of property damage that can cause you a lot of time and money to fix. Who's to know if it was your neighbor or some random neighborhood kid that egged your house last night (when not cleaned immediately, eggs can cause problems with paint jobs and siding)? Who can prove who came and dumped 5 gallons of gasoline all over your front yard at 3AM, effectively killing your grass (and making it very difficult to get anything to grow there for years without replacing the soil). There are a ton of quick, 2 minute activities that can be performed to make someone's life hell, with no proof of who did it. You don't want to go down that road.
     
  6. eliteconcept

    eliteconcept 700 mile club, top tank mpg 69.5

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    the bad history is this.

    This guy parked his garbage cans so that they were about 6 feet from our kitchen window. He didn't care because his windows didn't open. We asked if he could move them to his back yard because we didn't really want to see them out our window. He did...no problem.

    That winter we had our drive way plowed. the driver pushed the snow up near the sidewalk and our property line. This guy got upset saying that he got plowed in, he parks in the street. He was not plowed in by my snow plow guy, but I said I'll make sure he takes special care next time. He wanted me to call him and have him come back out that night *6pm*. I didn't but we helped him move some snow that was not ours so he could get his car out. mind you our pile of snow was at least 5 feet from his car.

    This spring low and behold the garbage cans are back by our window. Being nice as I mowed and used the weed eater between our houses I would kindly just move the cans back 5 feet so they were not right in front of our window. I wasn't slinging them around or anything just kindly pushing them aside so I could take care of the lawn around them. He comes out after we are done, and moves them back in front of our window....really...really? We go over there and kindly ask him if he could keep them where he did last year. He then gets upset about the snow incident again, *which mind you happened only 1 time, and we helped him shovel.* After some talks he agrees to move them but then complains about our dog, threating to call the cops on us about him. Our dog is really the lesser of the nusance dogs on the block. We then tell him to go ahead because we'll be happy to call child services about what we have suspsected to be child abuse for the past 3 years, but have just decided to not cause trouble on it. This child then goes and moves the cans back in front of our widows. What a turd.

    Things were ok for a bit after that. Then he goes on this rant today. Its really draining and he has some sort of power issue and thinks he can push us around like he does his family but thats not the case, as seen in the watering issue this past weekend. We really have long suspected him of abusing his children but again didn't have any HARD CORE evidence besides constant yelling on his part, and that he makes his kids trim his yard with scissors.
    I understand what some of you are saying about trying to mend things but hes really gone to far in the past and this is just icing on the cake.

    I hate to look like I'm submitting to him and his crazy demands. I do also understand that we should have resolved the overspray on his fence, but like a lot of you, I am a busy person so I do admit to forgetting about it. However had he provided a friendly reminder and I would have fixed it. Again if he would have just asked even up till yesterday I would have got the power washer or bought some paint to help him fix it, I'll admit to fixing what I caused. But if he wants to sue, I don't care for that at all.
     
  7. GrumpyCabbie

    GrumpyCabbie Senior Member

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    I know I'm not from the US so don't know how things work legally over there, but what about knocking on his door and talking to him man to man over a beer. Surely this is all blowing way out of hand with ill feeling on both sides. He might not realise that the bin issue is really causing you or your wife such distress. Or maybe the wives can get together and try and make peace. Nobody really wins if neighbours fall out and you've still got to live next to each other and you'd probably have a job selling and moving (if it ever came to that) with a neighbourly dispute ongoing.

    If you've really tried and he's still an arse, then contact your insurers and/or lawyers. But really, a few beers is the cheaper and more social way of trying to solve the dispute. Also, do you have any charitable mediation services that you could also try before the lawyers?
     
  8. priuscritter

    priuscritter I am the Stig.

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    wait a minute.....

    first, you should have definitely called the police about the kids. verbal abuse is abuse. You don't have to have hard core evidence. that's what the police are for. it's all of our responsibility to speak for kids under duress.

    second, it's obvious from your story that the guy is pretty much a jerk. all the more reason to have cleaned up the fence incident so as not to give him more fuel. at this point i'd probably wall off the entire property line so that you cannot see his property and he cannot see yours.
     
  9. eliteconcept

    eliteconcept 700 mile club, top tank mpg 69.5

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    We put up an extension to our privacy fence over the summer to block most of his house from our view. Don't worry I'll have plenty more chances to call the police... the verbal abuse happens almost every day. We've called once on him..he knew it was us. So that probably wouldn't help any matter moving forward if we did again. I want to call child services but my wife perfers not to because things will only get worse since he'll know it was us. So we call it a draw and try to just ignore their entire being. Knowing the history of this clown hopefully you can understand some of our indecisiveness on that matter.

    This guy is a certified a$*hat. And you can hopefully see that we've tried to play nice. I admit to doing only 1 thing wrong, not fixing his fence right away. Then again if he could be civil about it, I would have fixed it at any point, I just forgot. Its just a odd situation and as illustrated he is an unlevel person so even if I fix his fence the next time I won't not water my own lawn, or whatever it is next time for him what will he try next? See my problem. I can just give in this time but I'll end up losing every time. *sigh* we just need to move :(
     
  10. airportkid

    airportkid Will Fly For Food

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    I'll be honest and say I see ample culpability on both sides of these fences, an ongoing smoldering "war" of little tits for tat that the few incidents recounted here imply there are more of and that have been going on for some time.

    I'm appalled that an issue as serious as child abuse is being "played" as a "bargaining chip": if the abuse is genuine then intervention on the child's behalf is not just ethically compelled but a legal mandate. That it is being wielded as just another rock in the exchange of stones being thrown leads me to believe it isn't genuine abuse (which thus far has only been described as yelling).

    I laughed out loud at the statement that the dog is the "lesser of the nuisance dogs". Clearly, the dog is a problem; that other dogs may also be a problem doesn't ameliorate that fact. It also underscored my belief that these incidents go beyond what is being told here.

    It sounds like both of you are unwilling to appear to be "the chump" to the other, and so long as both of you maintain that stance this little "war" will only continue to smolder and may some day, without either of you meaning it to, catch fire and truly burn someone.

    Next time you mow your lawn go to his door, tell him you'd like to bury all the hatchets, and offer to mow his lawn too as a gesture of accord. You might be surprised at how quickly all the pent up grievances evaporate and you find yourelf with a neighbor again instead of an antagonist.
     
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  11. eliteconcept

    eliteconcept 700 mile club, top tank mpg 69.5

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    I understand your 3rd party view of the events being laid out. And I do appreciate your input, I am very unsure as to what to do.
    I am however one that will always fess up to responsiblity. Regardless of what it means. That is a point that is not easily made in writings since it is a personal trait that is built over time and not presented in a quick summary.
    I am trying to be as accurate as I can with the event descriptions here. Am I 100% accurate? probably not but if I had to describe weight and said 3lbs it might end up being 3.1lbs or 2.95lbs instead. I'm not trying to skew things in any manner because I want to solicit honest opinions on what we should do. If I make this guy sound bad, then take it for what it is. We have absoultely no problem with any of our other neighbors, which is important to note. I'm not trying to assert my innocence or guilt just being honest.

    If I knew for a fact 100% that the kids were being abused I'd call the proper authorities, without a doubt no matter who it was. However we have no proof on abuse and airportkid and priuscutter have just illistrated my wife and I's indifference to the situation.. What actually constitutes as abuse? Priuscutter says verbal abuse is abuse, however airportkid thinks we are just over hearing yelling and making it more than it may really be. What is exactly going on? I don't know, but if I were forced to play my chips one way or the other, I'd say abuse..but then again I have no proof and it'd be just a guess.

    on the dog comment, don't make it more than it is. When you live in the suburbs theres always a chance that someones dog will do something to piss someone off at some point. If you disagree then you must either have a dog that has never ran out the door on accident, barked outside even 1 time, barked at anyone who comes to your door or house, or anything. Acutally the dog might be dead if they were never guilty of any wrong doing that a neighbor could say is a "nussance". Nussance doesn't mean consistent problem, it could just be 1 time issue. Does my dog do stuff that consistently causes problems for those around me? No. Infact he is a fairly well trained dog. Does he occassionaly do something that someone could take as nussance? probably, thats personally interpretation. However nothing close to other dogs in the neighborhood.


    It looks like I'll just suck up and offer to repaint the fence for him. I'm just going to say I didn't know it was an outstanding issue and that I'll be happy to recoat his entire fence (not just the areas impacted) along ours this weekend. If it takes it ok fine. If not I'll document it and gladly go to court and display my offer, the age of his fence and the fact that no one can prove the state of the fence before. and that he did comment on removing the fence in the past. So why should i pay for an entire new fence for him? hopeffully it won't come to that.
     
  12. airportkid

    airportkid Will Fly For Food

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    I wish you the best!

    I doubt very much that it would, and he may even help with the repainting. Good luck!
     
  13. eliteconcept

    eliteconcept 700 mile club, top tank mpg 69.5

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    I wouldn't want him to help, we really do dispise him. I'm doing it just because I can't find the legal high ground to not do it. As I read further into the statute of limitations a fence is considered real estate and its 6 years to file a suit.

    Eh, when its fixed we are done and he goes into the ignore bin.