PriusGuy32

Bigfoot is real, and I helped him commit tax fraud.

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I realize, I should've been more specific.....

I just strive to be the person my black lab thinks I am.

Hey Daddy, when you gon' stop playin

An apple a day keeps everyone away, If you throw it hard enough.

Currently ashamed of what I did for a klondike bar...

Life is short...play naked!

I would like to apologize to anybody that I havent offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly.

My Prius is bigger than yours!

Im kind of a big deal.

Happy Birthday to me!

Me: Excuse me, what kind of berries are in the muti-berry muffin? Starbucks: Its multi-berry. Me: Well, does it have SCHNOZberries?!

Looks like I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue.

Im friends with the monster thats under my bed...

Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive....

If you say you can, or say you cant - either way you're right. -My Mom.

Life just hasnt been the same since that house fell on my sister...

Penny for your thoughts. $5 if they're dirty :}

Ive got the perfect body... But its in the trunk, and beginning to smell.

Chuck chuck bo buck..banana fanna fo