Complete the Limerick

Just to maintain my status as Spelling Nazi,
I offer for your poetry writing enjoyment:

The Limerick Meter:

*- - or _ / - - / - - / (-)
*- - or _ / - - / - - / (-)
*- - or _ / - - / - - / - - /
*- - or _ / - - / - - / (-)

_ = Do (semi-stressed half-beat)
- = di (unstressed quarter-beat)
/ = DAH (stressed half-beat)
(-) = optional quarter-beat
*Use either - - or _

The word has to fit the scan:

if: / - - is called for, then: GEN tle man is OK.
if: - / - is called for, then: gen TLE man doesn't work.

All corrections appreciated. Just playing around.....
You can complicate anything if you try!

 

Of terror alerts I am so tired
In the streets of Iraq we are mired
Our government's spending
Is deeply offending
How I wish Bush was never sired




<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Alnilam @ Nov 7 2006, 01:20 PM) [snapback]345102[/snapback]</div>

I'm a spelling Nazi, too. I don't understand your meter, though. Hope my little bits of rhyme aren't too off base. I just count out the rhythm in my head based on the "There once was a man from Nantucket" theme.

This is fun!

Here's a hard one:
There once was man named George Allen
With George Bush he went around pallin'

 

The Limerick thread is not easy
It's hard to make ones that aren't cheesy
But if cheese is your thing
Throw your hat in the ring
It may really impress your main squeezie.


It was bad when PriusChat went down
I kept hitting "refresh" with a frown

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Nov 7 2006, 03:38 PM) [snapback]345192[/snapback]</div>

Jared2, where are you?

 

Who needs Jared2? Will I do?

It was bad when PriusChat went down
I kept hitting "refresh" with a frown
I needed my fix
Of bad limericks
I guess I'll go out on the town

The polls in New Jersey are closed
Hopefully we won't get hosed

 

Of course you will! Of course, by stepping up, you're feeding my addiction. Curse you, Jared2!! (jeez...even that rhymes)

The polls in New Jersey are closed
Hopefully we won't get hosed
I'm optimistic but stressed
GOOD GOD, I need rest!
I hope the neocons stayed home and dozed.


I'm addicted to these silly rhymes
Can't believe I'm wasting all of my time

 

The polls in New Jersey are closed
Hopefully we won't get hosed
The winners they waited
The rain it abated
So they went to their Prius and posed.

John Kerry did speak to the press
What he said got him into a mess

 

You owe me a beer! I'll finish yours...

John Kerry did speak to the press
What he said got him into a mess
He said he was joking
Got Democrats choking
I cared not, I must confess.

 

I'm addicted to these silly rhymes
Can't believe I'm wasting all of my time
Much time I do squander
While I sit here and ponder
It's really a victimless crime

Checks and balances have been restored
Democrats everywhere roared

 

Checks and balances have been restored
Democrats everywhere roared
Pelosi's the new Speaker
Virginia's in a squeaker
But it's safe to say the GOP got gored

Now that the people have spoken
And the referendum is more than a token

 

Now that the people have spoken
And the referendum is more than a token
Bright sunshiney day
We forge a new way
The country has FINALLY awoken! (sic)


I had too little sleep last night
Watching Montana put up a fight

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Nov 8 2006, 09:45 AM) [snapback]345424[/snapback]</div>

I had too little sleep last night
Watching Montana put up a fight
The polls are all closed
The winner supposed
To tip the balance left or right.

I'm new to this limerick thread
Now the damned things are stuck in my head

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Nov 8 2006, 08:27 AM) [snapback]345453[/snapback]</div>

Last night was a pleasant surprise
The left, long thought dead, did arise

From the ashes they clawed
Due to policies flawed
Recounts anticipated, we do surmise

There once was a dictator named george
Upon power he did gorge

 

There once was a dictator named George
Upon power he often did gorge
With his ____ in his hand
And his head in the sand
He rightly was stopped in his forge. (love the double entendre here!)


I'm so happy that I have a job
But today I feel trampled by a mob

 

George tried to get God on his cellphone
But try as he might, got no dial tone
God's hands were full stopping impeachers
and also reminding his preachers
to get caught means our cover is blown

Let's hope Nancy
Does it up fancy

 

Let's hope Nancy
Does it up fancy

Be it a pelican

or Republican

They'll be antsy





There once was a Prius from Japan

That was the perfect auto plan -